Thursday

After Ben left, Milan wasn’t focused enough to continue their session, and Jacob had suggested to go home. During the car ride home, Milan got the impression that Jacob was against accepting help from Ben, but he himself wasn’t too sure if it was such a bad idea.

Ben had made some bad mistakes in the half pipe too. Two years before, at the beginning of the season, Milan clearly remembered it had been uncertain if Ben was going to heal from a broken leg in time for the big tournament.

Ben, more than anyone he knew, knew exactly what it was like to do something that scared the shit out of you. To push yourself to try, even if you’re unsure if you can succeed.

Besides, seeing him from up close was doing things to him, Milan hadn’t ever experienced before. That much was obvious, when he dreamed about Ben two nights in a row.

Aside from the fact Ben had made him an offer he practically couldn’t refuse, he was occupied with trying to find out what happened between him and Lennox, and who had said what during their breakup. In what way was Ben actually responsible for the backlash Lennox had been receiving. After all, Milan didn’t know Lennox well either, and it would be stupid to blindly believe gossip too.

However, all was pushed aside when he was on his bed, with his laptop, while Jacob was editing the latest footage to post a new video—people were begging for more despite uploading a video the day before—when an e-mail popped up in his inbox.

Sender: Caseymist@Hellerstern.au

Topic: Let’s catch up

Milan swallowed, opening the rest of the message by clicking the e-mail with a shaking finger. Casey mist had been his manager for his main sponsor, Hellerstern. Milan knew he had been in touch with his parents for a few months after the accident out of worry. Contact was lost by the time Milan came home, but it had been nice to find out even business contacts were interested in his recovery, even after finding out he was probably not going to be skiing ever again.

The e-mail didn’t hold much information, but Milan knew Casey well enough to read in between the lines. All Casey said, was that he saw the new videos, that he was happy to see Milan had recovered enough to have fun again, and to invite him—and Jacob—for a lunch on Saturday to catch up.

What Milan read in between those few lines, was that Casey was interested in his progress, and he most likely wanted to meet up to find out if he was able to compete again.

In other words, Milan felt like Casey wanted to know if Milan recovered enough to renew their sponsorship, and that in itself meant the world to Milan. To have someone with that much knowledge of the sports—Casey was the main scout for talents for HellerStern—believe in him and his recovery enough to at least consider a new contract.

It would also mean that Milan and his family would be out of money issues as well, considering the fact a lot of their savings had been spent on Milan’s recovery. Whatever wasn’t covered by insurance, had been paid by savings meant to send him and his brothers to college.

Milan still vividly remembered the arguments his parents had with his oldest two brothers—Romeo and Leon—when they were told they needed to work more hours to put themselves through college. They never let him live it down, blaming him every occasion they got.

“Jake?” Milan said, gesturing towards his laptop when Jacob looked over his shoulder in question. “Casey sent me an e-mail. He wants to meet with us this Saturday, during lunch.”

“Are you serious?” Jacob frowned, got up from the chair and took the laptop from his hands to read the e-mail himself. “What do you think he wants?”

“To know if I can compete again, probably. Wanna go?”

“Heck yeah, of course I do! If HellerStern gets behind you again, you can get professional training. We don’t need Ben.”

“HellerStern is sponsoring Ben as well, though. Didn’t you see his clothes the other day?”

“Wait, seriously?”

“He was wearing all HellerStern, no Brutton.”

“Wait, do you think he’s behind this? What if he’s pushing HellerStern to try and motivate you to still get what he wants?”

“If that’s the case, his pushy behavior might’ve landed me and my family a way out of money issues. Is it all that bad if that’s the case?”

“Why are you defending him? All you’ve done since you met him is defend him. We agreed before, he is toxic, he ruined Lennox, he’s a lying, manipulating idiot who just throws hissy fits until he gets his way.”

Milan shrugged. He didn’t really disagree; but he couldn’t agree either. What if it really was true that Ben had simply broken up and never threw any shade about Lennox? He had found the blog Jake spoke about, and it did seem like Ben wrote it. But when Milan looked at the way the posts were written, compared to Ben’s social media posts, things seemed off.

Milan simply didn’t know what to believe.

And right in that moment, it didn’t seem important either. His career was potentially taking off again, and he hadn’t even done much himself yet; other than mess around on skies with Jacob.

“It doesn’t matter what happened between Lennox and Ben. That’s private, this is business. And if Ben can boost my career again, I’d be an idiot to let something private that isn’t my business get in my way.”

“I guess that’s true,” Jacob agreed with a nod. “Are you going to tell your parents?”

“Yeah, of course I’ll tell them. Dad’s always been representing me, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“What if they say no, you can’t meet with him?”

“I’m not gonna ask,” Milan said, chuckling as he took back the laptop, “I’m merely going to inform them I’m meeting up with Casey, and if I really can get a new contract, I will ask my dad to represent me again.”

And suddenly Milan hoped  HellerStern wanted to sponsor him again. It could be the last push he needed to get back on his feet and chase his dream. Like Ben had asked him; why wasn’t he going for it? He hadn’t even tried to overcome his fear, even though he was never a coward.

If he had sponsors, he had obligations. No more excuses to make.

And even though he had no idea what kind of person Ben actually was, thinking about spending time together with him made him nervous more than anything. He felt lightheaded, he felt giddy, he felt the strong urge to ask Ben’s help no matter what.

But since he couldn’t explain why, without having a reason to go back and overcome his biggest fear, it felt better not to poke a sleeping bear and risk outing himself because really the only reason he had in that moment, was, well, spending time with the guy.

Cara would probably be onto him right away, and Jacob wouldn’t stop asking him why until he had an honest answer. If he would ask said questions in front of their friends, Evert would probably read between the lines and understand that there was something Milan wasn’t telling them.

No, it was safest to avoid any conversation that had anything to do with his own sexuality, to prevent him from blurting it out. Even though nobody had said a bad word about Lennox’ sexuality—or Ben’s for that matter—it did seem like they really didn’t care. But they weren’t their friends.

Milan was, and he wasn’t going to risk losing his friends. After all, he had already lost plenty.