Friday

Since skiing was taking its toll on Milan’s body—mostly resulting in muscle aches—he headed over to the local swimming pool with Cara, hoping to loosen up his body. Especially his knee was sore, which was why swimming seemed the best idea.

For the first half an hour, they spend their time going down the slides and messing around, but eventually they just started swimming in a steady pace in order to give his muscles a break.

By the time another hour had passed, they were leaning on the edge of the pool in the deep end of the pool to take a break.

“So,” Cara started, leaning her head in a way that enabled her to look at him, “How’s everything with you? Aside from the obvious.”

“Still the same,” Milan replied flatly, knowing exactly what she was talking about. “Too scared to tell anyone.”

“Which is why I’m glad we can talk, one on one. I can’t tell you how your parents will respond, mostly because your mom disliked your cousin coming out. But I can tell you how people in school reply.”

“You’re a girl, its still different.”

“Well, yes. But I met other LGBTers, and some of them are, believe it or not, male.”

“Right,” Milan said with a nod, realizing it was stupid to think Cara was only talking to her girlfriend about these things. Obviously she would’ve met other members of the community as well. “So, how would people in school respond?”

“There’re haters. There’ll always be haters. But more importantly, Sang and Lianne actually went to a meeting with me once, to support me. Evert found a gay club for me in Zeller, and Darrell had an argument with someone who called Lennox names yesterday. Your friends are supportive.”

“What about Jacob, though? He’s my best friend. It does feel nice to know my friends wouldn’t abandon me once I’m ready to come out. But what about Jake?”

Cara shrugged her shoulders, not looking all that happy. “I don’t really know,” she admitted, “I’ve been trying to fish for an answer, but he’s pretty much evading the subject in total and changes subjects easily.”

Milan nodded a few times, before he pushed himself off the side, back into the water, making sure nobody was close enough to hear him speak. “Which is another solid reason why I’m not ready to come out.”

Cara knew Milan was only swimming away to end the conversation, which was why she respectfully switched subjects until they felt like it was time to go home. Milan left her to go to the male locker room. By the time they were leaving, they were practically by themselves in the pool, and it gave him privacy in the locker room.

Well, for exactly thirty seconds, because as soon as he had realized he was alone, the door went back open. He turned around and felt his heart skip a beat when Ben Welsh stood in front of him, in swimming trunks.

Milan swallowed, allowing himself to check the guy out for three seconds—hoping Ben hadn’t noticed—before looking him in the eye again.

“Are you stalking me?” he tried to joke, to keep things light.

“Maybe,” Ben replied, smirking before he wiggled his eyebrows.

The last gesture caused Milan to suck in his breath as his face heated up. Did Ben notice he checked him out? Or was Ben just being himself, goofing around? That had to be it, right? There was no way Ben had noticed the three short seconds he had shamelessly enjoyed his view of Ben’s fine six-pack and…

“Like what you see?”

Fuck.

“What?” Milan snorted and turned away from Ben quickly, since he wasn’t able to keep his face in check with the pretend confusion. Distraction was needed. “Now that I see you,” Milan started, scratching his head, turning back to face Ben, who was a lot closer, “did you talk to HellerStern about me?”

“No, why would I talk to them about you?”

“Aren’t you sponsored by them?”

“I am, yeah. But why would I talk about you with them?”

“To get me sponsored again to get me to compete?”

Ben shook his head, looking confused as he zipped open his bag, “I didn’t. Though it would’ve been a great idea… but after we spoke? I really just felt the need to help, not to compete.”

Milan swallowed hard, nodding as Ben cocked his head sideways slightly, a playful smile lingering in the corners of his lips. “But don’t change the subject, Milan. Your friend might accept it when you swim away…”

“What?” Milan chocked on his breath, staring at Ben with wide eyes. Shock washed over him, as his body heated up at the mere realization Ben had at least seen  him having a conversation with Cara. But just seeing it wouldn’t grant him with the knowledge that Milan swam away on purpose.

Ben wiggled his eyebrows again, stepping closer, causing Milan to step back in surprise. It was really hard not to close the gap, kiss Ben while grabbing hold of his curly brown hair. But nobody knew—except Cara—and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Ben said, as if he had been reading his mind. “I kept your accident a secret too. What isn’t my business, isn’t my business. It’s just that I don’t mind knowing you’re playing for the same team.”

Milan’s throat ran dry, and he stood, frozen in his spot.

“Anyway,” Ben said as he turned to put his stuff in a duffel bag, have you considered my offer? I really think I can help you.”

Milan frowned, surprised by the sudden change in subject, casually brought up by Ben as if he hadn’t just insinuated that he know Milan’s biggest secret. Or was this some sort of attempt to force him to accept his offer? If he wouldn’t, Ben would just blurt out the fact he wasn’t straight? Then again, Milan didn’t think Ben was someone who would out anyone, just like that.

Then again, he had nothing to back up his image of Ben. If any, he should feel otherwise, considering the fact Ben had ruined Lennox’ life; wether or not he actively participated in the trash talking.

Simply said, Milan had no idea if he could trust Ben, en trust was going to be more important than anything when it came to overcoming his fear.

“I haven’t given it much thought so far, but honestly? I don’t trust you, and I need to be able to fully trust the person who is going to help me. Basically I would trust you with my life, and I don’t. But thanks for offering, I appreciate it.”

“I get it,” Ben replied with a shrug—tough he sounded slightly disappointed—as he threw his duffel bag over his shoulder. “Let me just give you one genuine tip. Don’t let Lennox keep you from achieving your goals. Whatever he says or does, no matter how convincing. It’s your life, not his. He doesn’t always mean things well.”

Milan had no clue what Ben was talking about, but he didn’t get enough time to reply; Ben had already left the locker room by the time his words sunk in and Milan realised what, or who, he had been talking about.

Now, what the hell was that supposed to mean?