I waited for my soul to rejoin Ether. When seconds passed with no discernible change to my essence, I opened my eyes. 

The woman with the pistol lay crumpled on the ground, and blood spattered the fence and speckled the snow. The rest of the crew watched an approaching figure with a rifle cocked on his shoulder. Wind rippled the loose fabric around his bionic leg.

Another gunshot split the air, and the man with the saw dropped to the ground. One of the remaining men yanked out a gun and aimed at Rekkan. 

“Stop! Stay back!”

My heart jumped into my throat, and I lurched forward in a nonsensical, useless motion. Rekkan’s stride remained steady.

“Stop!” the man yelled again. “Put down the gun, and we promise that we’ll —”

His words ripped off with a gurgling howl as a bullet knocked him flat on his back. A gasp fluttered over the Crew like shuffling cards. 

Then they ran.

Rekkan pivoted to aim at their backs. Bang! Another man dropped to his knees and slumped forward. Rekkan aimed at another retreating crew member.

Cold washed over me, and my heart beat hard enough I tasted blood. Who was this man gunning down humans like paper targets? And where was the man who brought me porridge each morning and apologized for touching my hair? 

My voice made an unplanned entrance. “Rekkan, stop!”

He paused, finger resting on the trigger. Slowly, he lowered the gun and turned toward me. As the rest of the crew disappeared into the trees, Rekkan strode toward the gate and slipped the key into the lock, movements even and sure. But when his gaze lifted to meet mine, his eyes burned with ruthless contempt.

“So, you are part of the Cutthroat Crew.”

I staggered back two steps. “What? No!”

“Fuck, I should have seen it.” He shook his head and hacked a humorless laugh. “How could I believe you actually wanted to live with me? That switchblade this morning… you thought your crew had arrived, and you were prepared to help them.” 

“No, I — that’s not —” 

“Just never thought they’d use a Southie.” Bitter amusement poisoned his voice. “An excellent scheme, really.”

My clogged throat swallowed my rebuttal. The look in his eyes left no room for argument — nothing to save me from his gun. How pathetic to die at the hands of someone I had started to care for. Someone I had let myself believe cared about me. 

Eyeing his rifle, I blinked back tears. 

The gun sagged to point at the ground beside his feet, and his voice softened. “Hey, I’m not… I don’t want to hurt you, Southie. I just want the truth. Did they threaten you? Offer you food or safety? Or I don’t know, maybe you’re in love with one of them. Just tell me.”

“I told you already, but you clearly don’t believe me.” I glanced past Rekkan at the bodies spilling blood over the ground outside the gate. “Guess you should add me to the pile.”

A quiet sigh. When he shifted the gun, I shut my eyes and flinched back hard enough I almost lost my balance. 

Then metal touched my hands. 

I peeled my eyes open and struggled to process what I saw. I now held the rifle, and Rekkan stood five feet away. Jaw clenched, shoulders back, and gloved thumbs hitched in his pockets. Just watching. Waiting.

I licked my lips and swallowed, the gun cold and heavy in my grip. “I don’t understand. Why… what are you...”

“I told you I don’t want to hurt you, Zafaru,” he said, voice low. “So either tell me the truth or kill me.”

The air drained from my lungs. He survived eight years by habit, not by handing loaded guns to possible enemies. Why would he risk his own life instead of taking mine?

“Rekkan, I’m not part of the Cutthroat Crew.” I lifted the gun in shaking hands. “Please take this back.”

His shoulders deflated with a long exhale. A few seconds passed before he stepped forward and accepted the rifle. Then he clicked on the safety and strapped it over his back. When he spoke again, only a slight strain to his voice betraying the risk he had just taken.

 “Alright. Then why did you stop me from killing them? Can you tell me that?”

I shook my head, struggling with how to explain. “Because… because they are human.”

His forehead creased. “Does that matter?”

My gaze flitted past him to the carnage once more, and the scene from minutes earlier played in my mind again, accompanied by a chilling refrain.

You think he’s human or something? 

Regardless, acting rashly would not help. Instead, I would have to draw out the truth with subtle, unobtrusive questions like...

“Are you Infected?”

Shit, I’m fucked.

A silence stretched between us, and then he spoke quietly. “I don’t know.”

I expelled a shaky laugh. “What do you mean, you don’t know? Do you feel a desire to devour me right now?”

He stiffened and raised an eyebrow.

Heat spread over my cheeks, and I changed my question. “Did an Infected bite you?”

He shook his head. “No, but no one knows if that’s even how it spreads. The scientist who came here thought it could have —”

He snapped his mouth shut hard enough his teeth clacked.

I edged a step toward him, curiosity overriding all trepidation. “Wait, scientist? A scientist came here? Was it one of Lazora’s followers?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “Forget about it, Zaf.”

I stepped closer. “When did this happen? And what did the scientist want?”

His hand slipped away from his face, and his eyes opened to meet mine. “A month ago, maybe. She wanted to bring me back to the research base to run tests on me. Apparently they can’t analyze the Infected since their brains explode when they are captured or killed, so the scientist thought I might be the key to solving the pandemic.”

My chest burned with breathless anticipation. “And then what happened?”

He shrugged. “Well, then I said something like, ‘Get the fuck off my property before I blow your brains out.’”

My eyes swept over the carnage once more, and I swallowed. Certainly not an empty threat. The demise of humanity suited Rekkan just fine. 

But even if he didn’t care, I did.

I met his gaze once more and propped my fists on my hips. “Where is the research base? Did she tell you?”

“Zaf, I don’t see how this —”

“Did she tell you?” The steel chord in my own voice surprised me.

He inhaled, licked his lips, and released the air with a shake of his head. “She gave me a map. But she said the other bases were already destroyed and that this one won’t hold out much longer. It’s probably overrun with Infected by now.”

“Give me the map.”

He shook his head again, harder than before. “No. No, you can’t leave.”

“Oh, I can’t leave? Are you going to shoot me and tie me up again?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, and his exhale caught in the back of his throat. “Zaf, I can’t… why risk your life? This world has given you nothing, and you owe it nothing.”

I dropped my gaze to his feet and spoke quietly. “You’d understand, if you knew.”

“If I knew what? That your mother is Looney Lazora?”

My eyes flicked up to his, and dread tightened over my chest, collapsing my lungs. When I found my breath again, I whispered, “How — how did you —?”

“I suspected from what you told me about your mother and from your notes in the science book. But you were seventeen when she died, right? And you said she only visited you once a month. Even assuming Lazora’s followers are actually trying to stop this Infection, what makes you think you’d be able to help?”

His calm analysis baffled me. If the North blamed Lazora for the virus, how could he react with such indifference? My throat worked uselessly for a minute before managing a reply. 

“She shared a lot with me when we were together. Even the last time I saw her, she tried… she tried to tell me...”

Rekkan just studied me with soft eyes and a twitching brow — so different from the man who gunned down fleeing humans minutes earlier.

My hands slipped down to rap my thighs. “Before the Infection started, I hadn’t seen her in almost a year. I thought she’d never come back… that she’d had enough. When she finally showed up, she hardly looked at me, but she kept repeating the same mindless refrain. Muscle memory. ‘Even Ether will fall in the third phase.’”

His eyebrows furrowed. “The third phase?”

I shrugged a little harder than intended, shoulders nearly brushing my ears. “At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. Now I figure Freshly-Baked is the first phase, and she was talking about Overcooked.”

“Then what is the second phase?”

“The transition between, maybe? Anyway, then my father entered, and she veered to the side and launched herself at him. There was… blood. So much blood. And then I just… I just ran. Like a fucking coward.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until Rekkan stepped forward and grazed a glove over my wet cheek. Voice rough, he said, “Forget about all of that, Zaf. Just stay. Stay here, and I’ll keep you safe.”

A warmth flickered across my chest, and I almost agreed. But a surge of something else claimed me — something I had not felt in a long time. And when I swallowed the mucus in my throat, an unexpected strength carried my voice.

“I’m leaving, Rekkan. I’ll find the research base, and I’ll stop the Infection. So if you want to keep me safe, you’ll have to come with me.”

His breath left in a gust, and the heels of his hands pressed his eyes. “You really think I’d leave my fortress for you? Don’t be a fucking idiot. If you think you can save the world, then you’re as crazy as your mother. And you’ll end up the same way.”

Every word struck an arrow into my chest, but every arrow only made me more determined. “Maybe, but I’d rather die trying than live only out of habit.”

His jaw worked, and then he swallowed. “At least wait a few weeks. Wait until the snow melts, so you don’t need to worry about freezing to death on top of everything else.”

“You said the base won’t hold out much longer. Sounds like I better go now.”

He stared at me for a few seconds, motionless but for the storm of thoughts raging in his eyes. Then he took one step back and threw his hands up in a shrug. “Fine, what do I care? I’ll give you the map, and let’s see how long it takes before you come crawling back to me. You’d better pray I still let you in.”

“Don’t think I’ll be praying. If I do come back, I’ll come as an Infected.”