Invisibility has always been a funny word with me. I've always been invisible to the right attention. Invisibility to the wrong attention was unheard of. Always felt like invisibility was more of a thing instead of a word. Like you're walking in a straight line and it suddenly starts branching off into this weird jagged line. Constantly taking a step back rather than a foot forward. Making mistake after mistake until there's no way to turn back time. Time is a very funny word as well. We all know that time is real but the way we measure it is a man-made construct. You might be grieving the loss of your beloved mother for two years. In reality, you might be grieving for a thousand years. All that time flew by in a millisecond in our time. With that Theory in mind, have I been longing for someone's affection for a millennium?
Now, another man-made construct is how we depict genders and decide what and all belong to one gender. What is acceptable and what is not? In my youth, I can tell you right now I didn't understand or value these ideas. When shows would appear with same-sex couples. I wouldn't think of them as such, I would see them as two people in love. I wish in the eyes of our society, that was a man-made construct. I feel as if we teach judgment instead of compassion first. I know when I was in my elementary years we did.No one noticed or no one cared because it's just your average kid. The fact that we have this idea to let certain things roll off the tongue of our young just shows how far we aren't from the past. We let it continue into their teen years and above until they become self-absorbed, oblivious, inconsiderate assholes.
But back to where I was going with this. As kids, we follow what we see, and that's exactly what I did...followed what I see. I remember forcing myself to like guys and annoying boys at my school. Even though they felt alien to me. I would write about how I "felt" about them in a crappy dollar store journal. Would accept dares to kiss my fellow boy peers. In my mind, I just didn't quite understand. As a kid, I feel like we all shouldn't have understood anything and just been kids.
I might sound hypocritical, but I understood when Purple cried. I understood that I felt something more than just care. I understood that her tears would give me sorrow and I didn't want to see a drop touch the floor.
Did I like her? There's no way I could like her while liking guys! How do you like a guy?
I remember the first time she rested on me. Her hair fell over my shoulders and would itch here and there, but I didn't care. She playfully flopped her body on the side of mine making my legs go numb causing me to laugh and smirk her way. My checks once again became red and I felt drawn to her. Her every move, her words, her charm took over me. Her overly fuzzy socks grazed over my feet and my heart started to beat.
Maybe there's a way to like guys and girls at the same time.
Letting you know right now, the story doesn't go where you would like it to go L. You don't get to hold her not even once. She never feels her heartbeat when she looks at you. You know that for a fact, so just stop while you can! Stop now while the time is still young. Stop now while the pain doesn't feel physical.
Bisexuality
"When one feels the same attraction towards both genders."
That's a thing?!?