I wake up feeling more tired than I was yesterday. I squint my eyes at the morning sun, half-blocked by Liam’s back. I join him on the balcony, smoke getting in my face as I do so.

“Morning’,” he says, scanning me. “Did you even sleep?”

I shake my head before answering with a yawn, “my thoughts kept me awake. When I realized that I couldn’t sleep, I resorted myself to playing CandyRush.”

“I couldn’t sleep either,” he says with a cloud of smoke. I want to brush the spike of hair that is standing straight on top of his head. “you know, if you can’t sleep, just come to me and see if I’m awake too. We can find something to do.” I blush at the idea. As my cheeks get red, his as well. “That’s not what I meant,” he clears his throat. “We can watch a movie or something.”

“Sure,” I say with an awkward smile. I quickly flee to my room to get ready.

****

A few weeks went by, and nothing happened. I quickly got used to living with Liam. It’s fun, even. I like coming back home and having someone to welcome me. I like not spending my evenings alone.

Although, I couldn’t bring anyone to hook up with for weeks. I feel uncomfortable with the thought of having sex knowing he’d be in the next room. 

And God knows I need to get laid right now. 

With Liam here, sexual tension has taken over the apartment. The worst is when he’s cooking - or at least tries to cook. He always wears my apron and I don’t know why, but seeing him in the morning, wearing his boxers and t-shirt with my blue apron on top of that, is such a turn-on. I just want to rip that apron off. Not to mention that the sight of his boxers embracing his toned ass alone already sends me into orbit. 

But we can’t. So every time he emits the idea of cooking, I take the apron and wear it so I can help. I need to contain those urges or cohabitation will turn into chaos.

I wonder if he has those urges, too?

Today is a Friday, the first of the month. That means Noah and Malakai are coming over in an hour. With our last period getting canceled, we had time to each go back home early. So now, I have the time to inform Liam before bringing two strangers home. I would have hated to wake him up at 8am to tell him if my class hadn’t been canceled.

What should I do? Hide Liam or introduce him?

A selfish part of me wants to keep Liam to myself, my little secret - my Liam. This is why whatever was happening between us back then went to shit, I was way too jealous. No one knew so girls kept on flirting with him. I was so insecure about myself and our relationship that I wouldn’t even get mad - I’d give up. Tell him to take a break if he wanted to be with girls again - it didn’t bother me. Although, it did bother me, but I was so fixated on the idea that Liam was straight and would be tired of us at some point.

I still think that way.

Introducing him also means that a part of me, the real me, is going to be exposed. I hope they won’t ask too many questions. Besides, I’m sure that he’ll get along with Noah and Malakai. I just wonder how they’ll react to him living with me. I am sure they will jump to conclusions - they both know my sexual orientation and don’t seem to care about it. Noah is just a very accepting and open-minded person, although sometimes I wonder if he even knows what sex and sexual orientation mean. With his I-love-everyone vibe, I wouldn’t be surprised if he came out as pansexual. He lives on a big marshmallow cloud and I will not get him down to the real, dark world. I will keep him up there as long as possible, and I’m sure Malakai will help me do that. He has such an obvious crush on the kid that the whole world knows - except Noah. 

Liam enters the kitchen in pajama - the infamous tight boxers and t-shirt combo.

“Should we order food for dinner? I’m so done with eating pasta every day, lord have mercy on my sanity.”

“About that,” I sit at the counter and continue, “two of my friends are coming over tonight. It’s a tradition - we watch a movie and have a sleepover every first Friday of the month. So we’re ordering pizza.”

His eyes widened, as if he panicked for a second, then collected himself. “Sure, it will be fun. Who are they?”

“Noah and Malakai. They’re my classmates, and about the only true friends I have here. We’re watching The Conjuring, I hope you don’t mind getting spooked tonight.”

“Spooked?” He chuckles. “The scaredy-cat here is you, not me.” I roll my eyes. “Anyway, it will be nice to meet them.”

“There’s something else - they’ll sleep in the guest room.”

“So I’ll take the couch tonight?”

No, you can sleep in my room, with me - is what I want to say, but I don’t trust myself enough for that.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s only for tonight.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind. Can I stay in pajamas?”

I scan him from top to bottom. He sees my concerned look and sighs, “Alright, I’ll wear something else.”

We usually drink together with Malakai, like a beer or two. Noah just sits there sipping his orange juice like the pure kid he is. With Liam here, I won’t be surprised if I  finish a whole pack of beers. Hell - hand me the bottle of vodka, I’ll have shots.

I call the pizza delivery service, ordering a margarita, honey and cheese and 3 cheeses. It should be enough as we have chips, popcorn and ice cream on the side. Besides, Noah is full after 2 slices.

A few minutes later, Liam and I are smoking on the balcony, when Liam tells me that he’s already seen the Conjuring.

“Well that sucks, I hope you liked it, because you’re going for a second round.”

“Well it’s okay - I was asleep for half of it anyway.”
Right, I had forgotten how Liam is pretty much a grandpa who can’t stay awake during a movie.

Unless it’s Harry Plotter. He can binge-watch the 8 movies without dozing off. When he was younger he had all the DVDs and the merchandise. He dressed up as Harry Plotter for Halloween, 5 years in a row. Once, he even asked me to dress up as a Slytherin character. Malfroy was out of the question of course - I was not going to wear a wig - so I just wore a cheap Slytherin robe. He was so happy that day - I’d never seen him smile so broadly.

I hear a knock on the front door. Anxiety peeks, I glance at Liam -  he seems anxious as well. Maybe I’m imagining it. I brush it off and go open the front door, Liam follows. 

Both Malakai and Noah are wearing grey sweatpants, with our university’s sweater. I hate that sweater, it’s bright yellow and cheap. 

As soon as they see Liam, their eyes widen. I never invite anyone else to our sacred movie nights.

I freeze. Please someone say something.