Someone’s POV

As I open my eyes, the sun is already hitting me directly from the window. With my jetlag, I don’t know why I can’t sleep more despite how tired I am. I think I just can't relax.

I just got back here after years of studying and working abroad. My room stays the same, with the same bed, the same color of curtains, and even my old books on the shelves. Lots of things reminding me how lively my high school life was before.

But I remember today is also my first day at my job here. But I still don’t want to move.

Somehow, going back here has been a little painful for me.

Because I don’t want to go back.

“Thank you for today L! Good work!”

Said the photographer who managed to finish his job on the photo shoot.
And yes, I worked as a model for a certain apparel company abroad. I go by the name L as my screen name.
I'm back here, because of this project and maybe to stay here for good if it goes well.

Modeling is not exactly what I like, I’m more interested in calligraphy and arts. But because of this job, I haven't finished my liberal arts degree.

Oh well, I do enjoy modeling. I enjoy the attention, I guess.

“Elliot!”

Suddenly, someone called me by my real name.

“Kent, been a long time!” He's my classmate from my high school days. But he transferred somewhere after our sophomore year.

“I still can’t believe you’ll be our model,” he can’t help but be amazed? 

“I didn’t even expect you to be a model in the first place.”

I awkwardly laughed at his comment, because I feel the same. Who knows I will be like this?

“Haha, well me too. I just wanted to finish college, but here I am, working,” I said while trying to hide my disappointment.

“Well, now that you’re here maybe you can find some time to continue studying, right? You’re also a great artist, I remember we used to ask you for some drawing projects.” he laughs remembering those days. And that's not a bad idea. I’ve been wondering about that for a while.

The time here compared to abroad is less toxic and I can go to my own house after work.

Nice, I have to tell this to mom, I’m sure she’ll be happy.

“So want to grab some drinks tonight with some of our old friends, to celebrate your arrival?”

Actually, I prepared not to celebrate it, but drinking with some people I knew might be a good thing. It might take me away from my overthinking mind.

“Sure, I’ll be there."

Walking in the same neighborhood brings lots of memories. Even though some places have changed I still feel I belong here. But why am I so hesitant to go back before?

I tried to avoid thinking about my reason. I’ve been very careful not to go there.

Not to see her.

I’ve been an awful person. I hurt a lot of people from the past. That’s why I hesitated to go back here. 

I’m too afraid to be judged by them, I think I’m still not ready to meet those people again.

I hate you!!!

Remembering those words she said and It hurts like hell, knowing she’s still mad at me.

Will I still move on?

Will there be a time that I can finally say I’m over her? She’s happy with him, right? 

And I know the familiar throb in my chest, that I’m still into her.

The night came faster, and we’re indeed celebrating my arrival. What a weird bunch of people.

I had 3 bottles of beer, and I’m glad I didn’t start with the hard one. Because some of them are already drunk with few drinks.

“I can still remember those times with Elliot, he’s actually so good with calligraphy.” This drunkard still remembers the day I managed to win a calligraphy contest. 

“Yes, he’s from the art club right?” she said as she fluttered her long eyelashes to me, I knew she wanted to flirt, but I’m not interested. But some of the boys tonight are eyeing her, hoping to get their hands on her. Maybe she should wear more clothes.

“So, are you still single, Elliot?” and then someone dropped the bomb. This topic does not really go well with me. I once again saw her eyes glint and waited for my answer.

“Come on, guys, you know I’m still not interested in getting into a relationship,” I said and then drank lots of my beer, stopping myself to talk more. 

“You’re a model, I know some celebrities are after you, L.” and again, someone dropped another bomb. It’s true, some celebrities take an interest in me. Some are good things, but they always have a downside too.

I just choose not to answer, but I laugh at the fact that despite seeing lots of kinds of beautiful women, I know I’m only interested in one.

And her smile is the most beautiful of them all.