Have you ever promised someone you won’t ever leave them? That no matter what happens, you’ll stay and stay forever?
Because I did that several times.
But you know what, I didn't keep that promise.
I still leave.
I keep walking, but I don't feel exhausted.
I keep on walking in unfamiliar places, but I don't feel scared.
But then again, why do I always forget about this?
It’s because I'm dead.
It’s always a pain, knowing you can’t do anything but watch people come and go as they continue their life. I grew tired of watching them, and I chose to ignore lots.
I’ve been dead for almost a year now. Exactly 11 months.
But why am I still here?
If it wasn’t for Rina, my girlfriend I could have gone to the other side and met my maker.
But there is still a problem regarding this beautiful girl.
Rina, she can’t move on.
She still clings to the past, to me.
But I don't have the right to say this to her, because I do feel the same.
I also cling to the past, unmove.
And how to even teach her heart to let me go? When I'm still here, hoping one day she might see me or whatever. I always imagine hugging her, whisper words like it will be okay, but I'm hoping for the impossible thing. I know we won't have any chance to see each other anymore.
I'm standing in another world, where only the dead accompanies and console each other.
Will there be a time that I can finally say I'm ready to go?**
“R-Rina, please accept my confession to you. I-I’ve been in love with you for months now.”
A guy seriously gave her a bouquet of flowers today at the coffee shop where she’s working. Rina clearly didn't like the guy who approached her. And yeah, you're not her type.
And it’s not even her favorite flowers. What a dumb. You should at least know what's her favorite flower.
“I’m so sorry, but I have to refuse.” She blankly refused the guy and after she said that, she turned her back to him and walked inside the shop.
I feel sorry for that guy.
But at the same time, I’m relieved.
I sighed. This feels nice.
“Wow, you still sigh. It’s weird. You don’t have a breath.”
I looked back and saw a fellow ghost like me, his name is Marik.
How can I say this, he’s somehow my guardian ghost, seems funny.
But he is.
Well I should distract myself sometimes, talking with him, right?
“Ru, you still come here.”
“I’m bored. Gotta guard her anyway.” I looked at her as she sat down at the cashier's booth.
“Guard huh? But she’s fine, you gotta let her live, you know.” Marik points out the obvious.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m letting her live, right?” I pout as I reason myself to him.
“Yeah right, I just hope you’re sincere saying those to me. Coz the last time I saw you, you haunt and scare the two guys who wanted to court her.” Marik shakes his head.
"It's their fault, I know their intention to Rina is not good."I can clearly see how disappointed Marik is.
“Maybe before her, you should move on first, Zeiru.” Marik added.
I know what he meant.
But I just can’t. I still can’t.
I know it’s not supposed to be like this. I know I should move on and finally rest, but how about her?
Watching her have a sleepless night, watching her break down in tears as she continued to look at our photograph, how can I even leave her. Broken and hurting like this?
“I miss you, Ru. Why did you leave me?” I always heard her asking me the same thing every night.
Why did I leave you, when I already promise to spend my whole life with you?