Noah breaks the silence. “Hello! Who’s this?”

“This is Liam,” I start, hesitant, “my, uhm-”

Liam cuts me, “his childhood friend. I’m staying here for a couple of weeks. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Cool! My name’s Noah, and this is Malakai. We are Adriel’s classmates.” He watches on Liam for a few seconds, puzzled. With a frown, he says, “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere.”

“Oh really?,” Liam answers. He clears his throat before continuing, “I think I would’ve remembered you and your pink hair.”

Noah chuckles. “Yes, you’re right.”

Malakai looks at Liam then at me, feeling the tension in the air. Nothing gets past him. With a smirk, he asks, “what brings you here Liam? Rekindling with an old friend?”

“You could say that. I was around so I got in touch with him. Adriel invited me to crash here instead of paying for a hotel.”

“How generous of him,” he says - I can hear the sarcasm in his tone. “Well this discussion is really nice but I’ve got some ice cream to put in the fridge so”, he says as he steps inside, followed by Noah. “I hope you’re not scared of horror movies, Liam.”

Liam chuckles. I’m glad they took the lead on that one. I don’t even know why I froze.

Don’t I know what Liam is to me?

I head to the fridge, taking out three beers and orange juice. They all sit on the couch, chatting. Noah knows how to make people feel comfortable. I pour a glass of orange juice and bring it to him, then proceeds with bringing 3 beers. 

“So Liam - are you a student too?,” asks Noah.

“Well, right now I’m having a gap year. Last year was pretty rough so I’m just enjoying life, working with my dad here and there.”

Rough because of me, I think.

“What does your dad do?”

“He’s the co-manager of a big casino, back in our hometown.”

Right, a big casino. It’s just a facade to launder the money our families get from our other businesses: drugs and prostitution. 

“A casino?” Noah turns to Malakai, “where people play games with money right?”

Liam’s brows come together, looking at Malakai.

Yes Liam, I think, Noah is naive and pure like that.

“Yes, Noah,” replies Malakai, “where people play games with money to try to earn more money.”

“They pay to maybe earn money? That doesn’t make a lot of sense,” he stops and looks at Liam with a guilty look, “I’m sorry, I’m sure casinos are great.”

Liam smiles, “it’s okay, it doesn’t make sense to me either.”

The doorbell rings and I go get the pizzas. I put them on the table in front of the couch.

It’s time to start the movie. I sit with Malakai to my left and Liam to my right. Noah sits on Malakai’s left.

“Hey, wanna make the movie more fun?” says Malakai. 

“Sure, what do you have in mind?,” asks Liam. 

“Let’s drink when someone in the movie either screams, is possessed or does something stupid.”

What is Malakai trying to do? We both know he won’t go beyond one beer, so only Liam and I will play. And Noah will just drown in orange juice.

“I’m in,” answers Liam. He looks at me, “Adriel?”

I nod. “Well, prepare to get really drunk.”

****

It’s almost the end of the movie - and I’m completely drunk.

Malakai drunk his beer, then kept on playing with orange juice. He kept on hiding his face behind a pillow while Noah was fascinated by how the Warren handled the case.

The credits started rolling and I look around to see all the empty beer cans around us. I stand up to go throw some, but I immediately fall back on my ass, missing the couch. Liam and Malakai start laughing. Noah comes to pick me up. “Are you okay?”

“I'm good. I’ve got a fat ass.” My voice sounds like it’s riding a roller coaster. 

All 3 explode in laughter and I sit back on the couch.

“Well, that was a great idea Malakai, sucks that you barely played,” Liam says.

“It was a trap - and you walked right in it,” he answers.

I turn to look at Liam and I put my arm over his shoulders. “Liam can be really naive.”

Liam chuckles and brushes his fingers on my cheek to make me face him, our faces are so close, I can smell the alcohol in his breath.  “Oh, am I?” 

I feel my face get hot and I quickly get up. Malakai catches me as I almost fall again.

“Alright, time for bed, dumbass. Noah, can you take care of Liam?”

Noah nods. He knows the blankets are in the guest room. He quickly goes there while Malakai practically carries me to my room and makes me sit on my bed.

“Why did you suggest such a game?” I ask.

“You were anxious, I thought it would put you more at ease. Otherwise, the mood would have been shit.”

“Thank you, I guess?”

He shrugs. “Who is he really? An ex-boyfriend?”

“Yeah. Sort of.” Malakai rolls his eyes. “Malakai, could you help me take my pants off?”

“Excuse me?” His eyes are wide open.

I chuckle, his face is priceless. “I don’t wanna sleep in sweat pants, just help me get them off.”

“I swear if your underwear comes off too I- ”

“Well, you’ll see something incredible.”

Malakai slaps the back of my head before taking his jacket off - it’s really hot in my apartment. I think I went a bit crazy on the heater’s temperature.

Underneath he has a simple black t-shirt. Around his forearms, I can see bruises. Someone clearly grabbed him hard enough to leave marks. He has them on both arms, some are green-ish, and some are red and purple.

He makes me stand up to put my pants down, then made me lay on my back to take them off. It looks like he knows what he's doing. “It’s not the first time you take someone else’s pants off, is it?” His face becomes red. “Actually, let me reformulate. It’s not the first time you take care of a drunk person, is it?” I ask, watching him fold my pants and put it on the chair in the corner of my room.

“I used to do that for my dad when I was younger. I was too nice back then. Now he can just piss off.”

“Is your dad the one who gave you those bruises?”

His eyebrows rose. He looked at his bruises, then back at me. He definitely looks embarrassed. 

It’s not the first time I see bruises on him. It’s either that or bandages. When I ask what happened, he always has excuses for it - I fell, I bumped into a drawer. Noah stays silent. But he knows what’s going on - and I am not dumb. My father used to grab my forearm like that too as a kid. He would throw me on the floor as if I was nothing but garbage. It wasn’t frequent, so I always let it slide. I hid my bruises, too - I was so embarrassed of them. Although, I wished someone had done something to help me, either my brothers, the maids of our mansion, or my mother. But no one ever told him to stop.

“Yeah,” he answers, in a whisper. He clearly feels ashamed. He's not even looking at me.

“I’ll beat his ass.”

He smiles, but I can see the sadness in his eyes. As he’s about to speak, Noah opens the door. “Liam is sleeping on the sofa now. By the way, Adriel, does Liam know another Noah?”

Malakai and I exchange a confused look. “I don’t know, why?”

“He called me and when I turned around to hand him a pillow, he said Oh, not you. Maybe he thought I was someone else.”

“Yeah, that must be it. Liam’s very drunk,” I answer, without a doubt. I’ll have to ask who’s that Noah. 

“On that note, goodnight dumbass,” says Malakai while exiting my room.

“Good night Carrot. Goodnight Noah.” Noah waves before following Malakai.

****

I toss and turn in my bed. It feels as though it’s speeding on a current and my vision is blurry.

I feel so embarrassed. They clearly saw how nervous I was, then they all saw my pathetic drunk self.

Oh, am I?

Drunk Liam has no shame. He just says and does whatever is on his mind. He also becomes a huge flirt, going out with him would always cause crowds of women around us. All he had to do was pick one, and that was it, he was getting laid. With his height, his muscles and blue eyes, he always catches the attention.

Now, I, too, have a pretty good reputation compared and can get anyone easily. Although, I bet that if I brought Liam to the bar with me, I would become the second choice again, like back then. Liam was always the popular one, smart, hot and kind. He could have anyone he wanted - a lot of girls confessed to him during high school. He dated a bunch of them, but it never lasted long. Then we started getting close. He wouldn’t even look at other girls. He would only have eyes for me. 

Which I felt guilty for.

He could be in a relationship with a girl, maybe think about marriage, a future. Instead, he got stuck with me. He never was interested in men, and then I approached him. 

I broke him.

When I was a kid, my brothers would always say that homosexuals were weird, errors. They were like broken humans.

I didn’t raise a faggot. Hell, I didn’t even want to raise you at all, is what my father had said when he learned about it.

Liam could have a normal life, but he’s stuck with me. And in a way, I’m stuck with him - I haven’t been able to forget him. I haven’t been able to create a bond like we had with anyone else. 

I hear the door open and it wakes me up from my thoughts. I look over my sheets - It’s Liam.

“I don’t want to sleep alone on the couch,” he says, “I’m sleeping here.”

I watch him as he gets in bed next to me. I get on my side, turning my back on him.

He wraps his arms around me, spooning me. My ego is screaming that I am not a little spoon, but if it’s Liam, I don’t mind.

I feel his hot breath on the back on my head. I feel the urge to turn around to face him. When I do, he's half-asleep, looking back at me. 

“I’m sorry I left you behind.” I spoke without thinking. He doesn’t answer and pulls me closer to kiss my forehead softly. “Can you ever forgive me?”He holds me tighter, pushing my head against his chest.

“There’s nothing to forgive. Running away was the best choice.” He pauses and sighs, “although, I did feel lonely and empty for a while.”

I feel a wave of guilt taking over my body.

I hug him tight. When I left, I only thought about myself and my safety. I didn’t think of the harm I would cause to the people around me, to him especially. I know he’ll never be mad at me for putting my safety first, but I can’t help but be mad at myself for doing so. I'm so selfish.

I release my grip to look at him. His breathing has slowed - he seems to have fallen asleep. I can smell a mix of his coconut shampoo - the one he always uses and begged me to buy at the store for him - and cigarettes. It’s a peculiar scent, but it’s his scent. It makes me feel at ease, relaxed.

Without thinking, I press my lips against his. As I pull back, I feel his hand move on my back, but nothing more. Did he feel it?

Wait, what the f*ck did I just do?

I feel so embarrassed, I carefully pull away from his hug and turn my back on him once more, hiding under the sheets.

Gosh I am such an idiot, please someone yeet me off the balcony.