Chapter 9 Part 2

Vince's POV

I hardly had stepped foot into the clinic as Arthur pointed towards the various bottles of things along the back wall. I followed him, taking in the sight of all the vials of medicine, the amount of lab equipment, and the vast array of pill bottles next to the back window.

“Suppressants,” Arthur explained as we neared the bottles. “Our technology and medicine here have surpassed your pack’s efforts—although, that statement could be false nowadays. Your work with rogues lately has been impressive.”

“So, this is how Michael stayed sane,” I found myself saying, eyeing up the supplies of suppressants Arthur was showing. “How you’re okay.”

He scoffed before holding one of the bottles in the air. “Okay wouldn’t describe how I’ve felt after Damon died. But yes, they’re worlds better than the ones Damon lived off on.”

The same ones I depended on, I thought morbidly. “How did you manage to make this?”

Arthur fiddled with the bottle. “It does the opposite effect than the ones you’re used to. Damon’s would be an equivalent to a downer, one that suppresses as you’d expect; stunts the connection of the bond, pushing those hormones and chemicals to low levels. Ours boosted those levels, creating a placebo-like feeling in our brain, sending what little hormones a broken-bonded or separated person would have and multiplying them tenfold, so it feels like it’s normal. Of course, our doctors are better at explaining than I could, but it had the opposite effect.”

“It sounds so simple, to think my father, or our doctors never thought to do that.”

“It’s much more complicated than that; it took years to get the right ingredients and proportions down to prevent an eventual crash in said levels. So far, the proportions of this one have shown promise.”

Tentatively, my hand traced the table, picking one of the white bottles into my hand carefully. The familiar sound of pills rattling in a bottle reminded me too much of back then when this had been my life.

“Your father fought our pack because of this. He wanted to capitalize on it, mass produces it, and use it to eradicate same-sex bonds. We refused to give it to him as he showed no interest in offering a fair trade for our pack.” Arthur sighed. “All we asked was for a peace treaty. He wanted nothing to do with me and the bond, so I suggested at least a peace treaty.”

“And he refused time and time again,” I finished for him, knowing our long history of denying peace treaties with their pack. “Had he just been a fraction less of an asshole, things would’ve turned out so differently. Not just for him but for me. Hell, even Michael and Xavier wouldn’t have had to deal with his shit.”

Arthur scoffed. “His hatred was rooted in envy. There was a lot I didn’t know about Damon, like his relationship with his parents, or even his friends. I probably will never fully understand the things he did. But when I look at you, I see a completely different story, Vince. “

“If Xavier hasn’t already drafted a peace treaty, I can assure you that will be our pack’s top priority. Our pack could learn a lot about your way of life here, aside from the suppressants. Although, that would help a lot of wolves back home.”

Arthur gave a pointed look before leaning against the table and gesturing to the bottles. “I can have someone prescribe them to you if you need—“

“No.” I bit my lip, not intending to sound that defensive. “I mean, I told myself I wouldn’t go back to that.”

“They’re not like what you’re used to. They would be gradual doses, no side effects.”

“No,” I said firmly. “I couldn’t do that.”

Arthur pursed his lips. “I say this not to scare you, but eventually your mind—your wolf— will go mad with distance. This could help the both of you; that is if you remain separated.”

I set the bottle down, none too gently as my eyes wandered to the rest of the room. “I can’t do that.”

“You could be happy, Vince. Simon too. I know it sounds terrifying, but living without the bond, if you choose to do so can get better, I promise. You two could both be free.” I half expected him to add like me to that, but he didn’t. His words were calm, not in any way pleading, but I could tell that he wished for me to take them, or at the very least, consider them. But that wasn’t what piqued my interest. If Simon took these pills, he wouldn’t have to worry about the bond, wouldn’t have to worry when he was around Sam. Although Simon would most definitely argue and refuse such pills, he could finally move on. 

“I’ll think about it,” I finally managed, the words weak. I wouldn’t dare take those pills again, even if it worked a miracle. But if it meant it would guarantee a chance for Simon’s happiness, how could I deny that?

“Of course,” Arthur said as if he had expected my answer. “The offer still stands.”

“Thank you.”

Arthur’s offer ruminated in the back of my mind as we headed back to the foyer. Although I hadn’t taken a pill bottle from him, my pockets felt heavy as if I had. The thought of using it, or Simon using it had been an absurd idea, but now I was starting to see the positives in it. There had been nights I’d see the two of them together, cuddling on the couch, or locked in an embrace. I’d seen the way Sam had been a source of comfort for him. Those visions were hard to forget and erase from my mind, and now, the nuances, the tiny moments of hesitation they carried on their shoulders seemed like a heavy weight. How many times had they hesitated, how many nights had they paused because of the bond? With those suppressants, they wouldn’t have to anymore. No more holding back anymore, no more second-guessing that they were doing something wrong. 

I could give this to him, and he’d be free. 

Happy. 

Just as more questions came to mind, Clayton had stormed toward us, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“What’s the matter?”

“I received a call from your pack,” Clayton said. “Their alpha.”

Xavier. Arthur turned to him. “And?”

“You should go home, Vince.” He paused. “No, need to go home.”

Arthur spared a glance toward me before looking back at his husband. “Clay?”

“What? Why? I just started to—“

“Your mother,” Clayton said abruptly before his features grimaced. “She needs you. He told me she doesn’t have much longer. You should go.”

My heart sank to my stomach. No. No. No. My voice was strangled as I let out “what?”

“He said it was urgent that you come home. Have you not told him where you were? He seemed confused and relieved to hear that you were here.”

“No, I hadn’t,” I let out, the wave of shame washing over me. I had been foolish before, but this took the cake. Xavier was most definitely worried out of his mind if he powered through his fear of calling other pack leaders like this. And with mother—I felt sick. What was I doing here? I needed to get out of here. 

“I’ll drive you, it’s faster,” Arthur stated, gliding through the room to retrieve a pair of car keys. It was the rational option, yet in my mind, I wanted to storm out of here, shift, and run myself. How could I have been so stupid? This wasn’t my home, wasn’t where I needed to be, even if it did feel homier. Home was there, with Xavier, my mother. With the pack. 

I needed to go home.

———

My leg bounced the whole way in the car, the fears and thought of my mother dying without me there finally dawning on me. Xavier was alone, he was facing this alone, without me. What kind of older brother does that? Even though Arthur was speeding as soon as we got on the main road, I was mentally pleading that he’d go faster. What if it was too late, or there was traffic? Or she couldn’t hold out the time it took to get there. Would we make it in time? No, I had to. I had to make it.

As we neared an area of town I finally recognized, Arthur had fumbled around in his jacket pocket, pulling out a familiar bottle.

“Here,” Arthur placed the small white bottle in my hands. I turned it over, tracing my thumb over the label. The same one he had shown me before in the clinic. “It’s a smaller dose. In case you or your mate ever decide to use it. I figured you were contemplating it and brought it just in case.”

It felt heavy in my hands, I never liked the idea of having to rely on something like this again; Simon surely didn’t either, but if this meant he could live happily, then I’d make sure he’d get it. I tucked it into my pocket before turning to Arthur, whose grip on the steering wheel had remained firm, his jaw clenched. “Thanks. For this, and for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he responded dryly. “To finally speak to you, and introduce myself to you has been a long dream of mine. Knowing that I had missed out on your lives has been one of my deepest regrets in life. I had known about the suffering, the trauma Damon had caused, and I did nothing to aid you, your brothers, or even your mother.”

“That’s not your fault to bear, though.”

“No, but I could have done more. I should have—but like you—my fears hindered me, consumed me, really.”

“Well, no more.” I smiled softly. “It’s about time we get over our fears.”

“Indeed.” The corners of his lips rose, that rare smile of his resurfacing. “To letting our fears go.”

“To chasing after what we want,” I said. We shared a glance at each other. 

He grinned, his grip on the wheel finally easing up. “To no regrets.”

“To no regrets,” I echoed as we neared the dirt pathway that led back home.