CRACK!
I try to hold back my laughter as the most ridiculous turn of events unfolds before my eyes, but at the same time, I’m pleased with it. This busty woman has risen in my estimation because of her sheer wit, and the satisfaction I get from seeing this robot’s destroyed face is incomparable.
“Ha haha hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” I can’t hold it in anymore.
As everyone’s confused and bewildered eyes fall from the dead robot to Boobies to me, I continue: “HAHAHA WOW! What a move! I’m soooo impressed, really! You didn’t leave it a chance! Hell, I couldn’t have done it better! That kick was so cool, where did you learn that?! Here, high-five… OUCH! Wait, no high-five, my arm still hurts. How come that ambulant garbage hits so hard?”
“ARE YOU FOR REAL?!” Now it’s ESMERALDA’s turn to scream.
“THIS IS NOT GOOD AT ALL! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND TRACES OF THE HACKING NOW?!”
“Which one should I punch?” asks DARIUS in a frighteningly serious tone.
“Uh, not me, I didn’t break it.” I raise my hands. Boobies, on the other hand, is not as cowardly as I am and adopts a fighting stance.
“I did it, come at me, Schwarzie! I’ll blow your head to pieces too.”
“Hit them both, they’re equally annoying.” Stupid woman, I would be confident if I had a bodybuilder pet too.
“Don’t hit anyone.” The geezer finally decides to open his mouth, and his tired look betrays the fact that he didn’t expect to be supervising a kindergarten.
“The hardware is in the body. As long as it’s undamaged, we can find the information.”
“I knew that!” puffs ARTEMIS. I did not.
“It’s true, but you’ve made it impossible to connect my laptop, and we’ll have to entrust the robot to a hardware expert, and we’ll only find the answers we’re looking for in many days instead of minutes!” complains ESMERALDA.
“I know a trustworthy hardware expert.”
“Maybe, but no one trusts you.”
As they continue to debate, I can’t help but wonder what our enemy’s purpose is. Why would they come all this way to hack a stupid cleaning robot that can do no harm? They must have known that we’d all be here tonight.
What about … a decoy? While everyone is here, preoccupied with the robot, they could definitely infiltrate the building and silently kill everyone like in cool spy movies, and if they can hack a robot, they probably can hack video surveillance cameras, right? I know we’re not allowed to, but I wish I could ask this Prince what he’s done to make such dangerous enemies.
With all of this in my mind, I try to sneak out of the suite through the entrance hall.
“Where are you going?” The prince had silently followed me.
“I … Uh, I’m just going to look around, make sure there’s no sign of a threat! No running, I swear.” I really hope he doesn’t think I’ll betray them.
His cold stare is almost making me sweat, and I have no idea what he could do if he had any intention of killing me. I can still hear the frantic commotion in the living room, and it just makes me want to leave as soon as possible.
“If they seem aggressive, beat them up first, if they are armed, destroy them.”
Destroy them? Isn’t that too brutal? But that means I’m allowed to go. I nod silently and watch him walk back into the living room.
As I step out into the hallway, I shudder at the thought that all the stairs below might be filled to the brim with armed professional killers. And as I quietly close the main door of the suite, I can’t resist whispering farewell to what may be the last people I’ll ever see. My last thought goes to the girl with the hot body who didn’t hesitate for a second to blow the shit out of that stupid robot. It was a short encounter, but it was certainly fun.
My quiet prayer is answered by her questioning voice emanating from the small, ever-smaller gap in the door: “Anybody got a screwdriver?”
…
Slowly but surely, I sneak out of the corridor and head for the stairs. I’m not stupid enough to take the lift in this situation. Counting on my good ears and with one hand on the wall and the other holding my most important accessory, I descend the stairs without turning on the light. Sixty floors to go. Sixty floors where one or more people could be waiting for someone to pass by.
When I reach one and see the dim light of the plate number illuminating the staircase like big stars in the night sky, I think, 'maybe the next one.' As my eyes quickly adjust to the darkness, I control my breathing and footsteps to make as little noise as possible, trying to hear anything unusual.
But after 30 floors, nothing unusual happens. Nor after 45. Nor after 60. When I reach the first floor, I take a deep breath and open the door to the lobby. When I see that no one is there, I exit the staircase with a sigh of relief.
The bright lights of the hotel hurt my eyes after being in the dark for so long. But considering that I’d been in semi-apnoea for almost 20 minutes, breathing normally again re- Uh… What the hell? But the relief didn’t last long.
At the reception, behind the desk. Two people dressed as receptionists … armed… One of them is checking his handgun, the other one has a fucking assault rifle. My eyesight is still too bad to see what model it is.
I panic. But they haven’t seen me yet. I look left and right and notice the emergency exit at the end of the hallway behind me. Off to the side, I notice more people who hadn’t even taken the time to get changed. They are in riot gear with Kevlar jackets and automatic weapons. Some of them even have shields. We can’t do anything against the FBI!
I run as fast as I can, but a third man dressed as a bartender circles me. He’s got a violin case, and I’ve seen enough movies to know there’s a gun in it!
“Hey! Are you OK?”
Shit, he’s spotted me, and he’s going to call his friends. I’ve got to get rid of him. I take my ultimate weapon, a butterfly knife, out of my trousers and unfold it in one motion. Don’t laugh! With the momentum of my run, I let myself slip and dribble on his legs, causing him to fall over.
“HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY-”
Back on my feet, I plunge my knife into his throat before he has time to scream more than he already has and pull it out as quickly as I can. Then, in one swift movement, I crouch down and stab him in the balls, heart, and temple as I stand up. Just as I’ve been taught. The weight of his body falling on my blade makes it effortless; the rest is a matter of speed.
No time to hide the body and wash my hands. I run out of this hell, but when I almost slip on the blood that has been spilled on the floor, I remember my pain.
“OUCH, my arm! Fuck this shit, I’m out. Good luck with the rest, fellows.”
On my way out of the hotel, I hear a terrible explosion from the roof.
“Haha hahaha what the fuck?”
A dark cloud of smoke covers the 60th floor of the skyscraper as the alarm goes off. A helicopter, which I hadn’t noticed before, flies around the building with its headlights on, and gunfire echoes in the night sky.
I run away as fast as I can, irrationally turning left and right through the empty alleys and dark streets, even though there is nothing behind me.
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