When Them was twenty-five-years old, he was just as restless and directionless as he was sitting in the tower relating his tale. Back then, he had asked permission to enter dwarven lands, and the dwarves obliged, seeing that he could cause them no harm and he had assured them that he would leave within two weeks.
The dwarven lands were quite sophisticated. That had access to technology that humans and waifs just didn’t; some homes were even equipped with things the dwarves called “light bulbs” that gave off light when turned on, allowing them to work through all hours of the day, which was good, because some dwarves chose to live underground.
The dwarves made the finest weapons Them had ever seen—but more importantly to the waif, they made the finest ale, too. Them had traveled to the lands in the first place to taste the famous ale of Angrin, an underground clan of dwarves that was at odds with the royal family. But, as Them would soon come to know, almost all the dwarven clans had tension with each other.
Them first learned of this when he was sitting in a tavern in Angrin, drinking the famous Flowergrin ale with a lovely dwarven woman named Tiira. Dwarven women varied like any race did in appearance, but more than any race he knew, they had a trend of being short and curvy, his favorite body types.
But then, every type of woman seems to be my favorite type. Them thought to himself, giving the dwarven woman a drunken smile. The woman returned his smile; like many female dwarves, she chose to keep some of her facial hair, but she had trimmed it and arranged it in a style that was absolutely gorgeous and feminine. She had flowers in her hair and in her golden beard that offset her ivory skin and stark green eyes.
“What’s your name, beautiful?” Them asked.
“Tiira.” The woman answered. “Enjoying your ale?”
Them gave the woman his best flirtatious smile and answered, “Are you kidding me? It’s the best damned ale I’ve ever tasted—right Pete?”
Pete jingled his response, it is! I can feel my troubles floating away.
The woman looked at Pete in surprise. “Oh my, a wisp. You must be very special.”
Them winked. “Not as special as you. I’m glad you speak Common… not many people I’ve run into here speak it.”
“Well, every now and again they let in interesting visitors into the kingdom, and I like to talk to them.” The woman returned his wink. “You’re lucky; we dwarves mostly war amongst each other, we don’t generally war with other races. You could probably go amongst any of the clans and be fine, unlike the rest of us…” the woman looked into her ale with a bitter expression on her face.
Them’s vision had only just began to swim after having his seventh beer. His faculties were still in-tact, even though he was starting to slur his words. Pete had told him to stop at five, but the wisp had drunk three himself by then (and was the lightest weight Them had ever known) and was unable to protest further.
“I didn’t know the clans didn’t get along. Why don’t they?” Them questioned.
“Well, all of them want to be king, and all of them have different ideas about how we should rule and what we should worship. I, myself, am a traditionalist. I worship my ancestors.” Tiira said. “Currently, our clan Angrin is constantly getting into what the king calls ‘skrimishes’ but what I call all out war with the clan of Brint.”
Them snorted. “Typical. Over what differences?”
“Come home with me and I’ll tell you.” Tiira replied.
Them wasn’t about to say no to such an upfront and beautiful woman, so he gladly obliged.
***
Eliita had clapped her hands over Eory’s ears. “Damn you Them, I swear, for once your going to skip the love scene for Eory’s sake!”
“Oh please, the little guy needs to hear of my exploits! It’ll help him be less shy! There’s plenty of gorgeous women around here and—
“Them, we won’t have you spoil him!” Terran intervened. “He already had to hear of three of your exploits, and he went red with embarrassment!”
Them made a face. “Fine. I’ll skip the good stuff.”
Eory, himself, was pursing his lips and crossing his arms sourly. “C’mon, I can handle a sleazy story…”
Them’s eyes lit up. “Oh really? Well…”
“No. You can’t.” Terran said firmly.
Eory rolled his eyes. “Fine… if Terran and Eliita are going to be such prudes about it.”
“We are.” They said in unison.
“Your level of dignity is only matched by your level of tepidness.” Them sighed. “Very well. I’ll go to the morning after.”
Comments (7)
See all