THE PAST

Juan was shocked by the words Beth had snarled at him. "I already lost my sister because of an Ortiz. I won't let you take away my friend too."

He hadn't been imagining the hate he felt coming at him whenever she was around. She really despised him; and now he started to wonder if Beth was the real reason June kept her distance. The skittish way she was always looking at him though, her cheeks turning red as soon as he caught her eye... he hadn't imagined those things. He had seen how she had touched for her cheek, right after he had caressed her skin on the exact same spot. She had frozen when he touched her, but she hadn't given him the impression that she was disgusted by it. It seemed to be disbelief, as if she couldn't believe that he had touched her in such a tender way.

Or maybe you're just telling yourself lies. Maybe you should just face your loss and turn your attention to other chicks. There are plenty of 'em.

It felt like he was hearing Mateo's voice – but those weren't words he had spoken. His brother had told him to fuck her if that was what he wanted, but the thought alone made his guts clench. Mateo could talk about his flings however he wanted, but June deserved more respect than that. He would never force her into anything; he would wait until he was positive that she wanted it too.

At least, that was what he was hoping. Just a few minutes ago he had reached out and touched her before he was even aware of it.

"You need to learn to keep your filthy hands off."

As Juan left the school, Beth's words kept racing through his mind. What again had happened to her sister? She had committed suicide, right? But what had his brother had to do with it? What did Beth – and apparently also June – think his brother had to do with it?

Contemplating he walked to the smoking area, where Emilio was already waiting for him. His friend's wide grin silenced the thoughts about his brother.

"Well, am I an awesome wingman or what?"

"You're an insensitive dick." Juan shook his head as anger crept up again. Because of the conversation that had followed, he had forgotten how Emilio had embarrassed him. "Asking her if she is a virgin? That I need to know it so I can make sure she feels relaxed? Oh, and you even told her how I wanna do her? It's a fucking miracle she didn't slap me in the face."

Emilio snorted. "She doesn't even dare to slap a fly away! There's no fire in that girl man. Why do you want her so bad? I don't get it."

Juan felt his cheeks glow. In his mind, everyone should want to be with June, but it was clear that Emilio thought otherwise. He should be happy about that, it meant at least one less competitor for her heart. Still, it bruised his ego. He wanted to feel proud if there would ever be a day that he could call June his girlfriend.

"I just want something different than all those noisy sluts. I'd rather have a sweet girl that doesn't turn into a drama queen every other day."

Emilio chuckled. "It's all right, homes." Smirking, he laid an arm around Juan's shoulder and blew a cloud of smoke in his face. "You really are a little in love, huh?" He rushed into laughing. "But for real — I'm standing here for over ten minutes by lonesome. So my insensitive dick-move got you something, right?"

Juan turned his head away from the smoke so he could breathe and looked back at his friend. He had a point, despite how stupid Emilio's remarks might have been; it had at least led to a second conversation. Not that it had gone smoothly, but she had at least told him she didn't think he was a dick. So it could have been worse.

"Well, any progress? Or was she still tryin' to find her tongue?"

Juan decided to keep the fact that he had tried to ask her out again to himself. He'd rather not admit she had rejected him again. Even though this time, she might not have done so at all. He had the feeling that she might have agreed if Beth hadn't shown up. Still she hadn't disagreed with her friend when she said all those harsh things, so it still felt like a rejection. He didn't think she would get back to him on the topic of a date now and Juan doubted he would have the balls to go talking to her again. Truth to be told: without the clumsy help of his friend he never would have talked to her today.

Juan lit up a cigarette and turned his attention to his friend again. "Her friend Beth dragged her away from me and was yelling all sorts of shit at me. Do you remember what happened to her sister?"

"Hmm..." Emilio's hand slid off his shoulder. "It was two years ago, right? She slit her wrists, eh? It was huge drama round the school. Something to do with sex tapes being spread among the upperclassmen I think? I remember the day when a tape was being shown in the lunch room."

Juan dug into his memories. There had been a period when the computers were hacked and some video's were shared, but he couldn't remember what the videos were of or if Beth's sister had been on one of them. He didn't even know what she had looked like.

And Mateo – what had he to do with this? Was Beth trying to claim he had been the one behind those videos?

"Ask your brother, if ya really wanna know," Emilio said, as if he had heard Juan's thoughts. "They were in the same class, right? Either way, nothing happened around here without Mateo knowing about it."

Juan stayed silent, dragging on his cigarette. Deep down he doubted that he even wanted to know what role his brother had played in the events leading to the death of Beth's sister.

. . .

Together with Emilio, Juan walked out to the parking lot, today his friend had given him a lift because they had the same classes. In the middle of the parking lot was a bright blue Chevrolet Impala; around which a crowd had gathered. Music was blasting from the speakers and when Juan recognized Dr. Dre's voice, he got a hunch of who was in that car.

As he got closer he saw an arm hanging out the rolled down window, with very familiar tattoos on it.

Next to him Emilio whistled. "Damn dude. That car's a real beauty. Why can't I get a brother like yours?" He wormed his way through the crowd and bumped his fist against Mateo's.

"Hey lil' brother," Mateo smirked as Juan found his way to the vehicle too. A bit overwhelmed Juan stared at the expensive car. "You like it?"

Juan didn't know how to answer, especially not with all those people around him. Instead of saying anything, he walked around the flashy car and sat down at the passenger seat, the beige leather cracking underneath him. With a wide grin Mateo looked at him, rubbing his knuckles over Juan's head.

"Thought they could use a reminder of who you are, now that I'm no longer around. If the ladies are trying to reject you, they've clearly forgotten what a marvelous god you are related to."

"You gotta be shittin' me! You told your brother about June and not me?" Emilio asked from the backseat. Juan hadn't even noticed his friend climbing in the car.

"I was high," he muttered. "I couldn't help what I said."

Mateo chuckled. "A sentimental shithead, that's what he was. He was almost crying because of a chick."

"I was not," Juan grumbled, elbowing his brother because they were still sitting in front of the school with open windows. Not everybody needed to know about his crush. "I was just bummed."

From the corner of his eyes he still caught Mateo's smirk as he started the Chevrolet and slowly rolled off the parking lot.

"She hot?" he asked, his eyes aimed at Emilio via the rear view mirror.

"Hot?" Emilio repeated, grinning. "I wouldn't know, she only wears these oversized sweaters. Wait, there she is. The one on the left, who's staring at the ground; I'm starting to think she has a foot fetish or somethin', she's always looking down."

Wildly, Juan turned his head to the side. There she stood, staring at the ground just like Emilio had said.

"What was her name again?" Mateo asked. "June?"

Juan suddenly felt burning hot. Again he poked his elbow in his brother's side. "Come on dude, let her be."

"Yeah, June," Emilio answered from the back seat, and he repeated her name with a teasing tone.

"Hey come on," Juan tried once more. "Lets just leave, okay?"

But Mateo ignored him. He shoved his arm through the rolled down window and tilted his head. "Hey June! Get down here..."

She looked up as she heard her name. Her face was pale and even from here Juan could see how uncomfortable she felt.

"Shut up and get the hell outta here," Juan hissed.

"Nobody rejects my little brother and gets away with it. If she humiliates you, I'll make sure she..."

Juan cursed. "I'm serious man. Drive. This is fucking embarrassing. She did nothing wrong, she's just afraid I'm an asshole like you two."

Emilio started to laugh. "She should be happy with my attention. I would make her do things that never would occur in that pretty little head of hers. She'll never want to be banged by someone else after me."

Juan's eyes shot to June again, who still stood frozen on the sidewalk, staring at the car. Beth stood next to her, a raging fire could be seen in her eyes.

All Mateo did, was chuckle. "Hey June? You hear me? How much for a fuck? My –"

Juan slammed his fist on the horn so it would drown out his brother's words, as he motioned her trying to get her to walk away. A bit dazed June stared at him, as if she had no idea what was happening.

Beth was quicker. Her cold glance crossed his for a moment, as she grabbed her friend by the arm and pulled her away from the street.

Juan kept hitting the horn until Mateo snatched away his hand and looked at him with a glare.

Juan was too angry to be impressed by it. "You're such an asshole," he spat as his shame pushed his rage upwards. He swung the door open and slammed it shut as soon as he was out of the car. "Get the hell out of here man! Show Emilio around in your stupid new car, he's desperately looking for a so called cool brother." He swung his middle finger at the two and rushed away from the car, slamming his shoulders against the people who had been watching the spectacle as he worked himself through the crowd.

There was a lump in his throat and the tears were itching in his eyes, but he refused to cry.