Chapter 18
-Kirrill-
I need to stop thinking about Wesley. I’ve spent the past two weeks since he stayed over thinking about him practically non stop. I ended up blurting out my feelings to Kat, and now I just gush about him to her all the time.
Finally, it’s pay back for the many hours I’ve spent listening to Kat talk about Aria.
“Are you actually listening?”
Dragging my eyes over to Kat, I shrug. “Sort of. What did you say?”
She rolls her eyes, smiling. "We need to pay the Herrings a visit, soon. In a couple of weeks, actually. Mum wants to thank them for everything they did for her, and apparently, as the new boss, I have to actually meet their leader.”
Ah yes, a lot happened recently. Namely: Miroslava came back to England and caused a whole shit storm.
So the Boss is waiting to go to prison, although he’ll probably worm his way out of an attempted murder charge. And all the other charges for his crimes. But we don’t want to dig too deep into his crimes: it’d put Kat, Miroslava and I on blast too, and that’s not the point of this.
The good news is that Kat finally has her mum back, and she’s been a lot healthier mentally since Miroslava rejoined the picture. Miroslava has been properly training her, helping Kat out with running our group.
It’s nice to have her back.
She promised to do something for me, but I’m scared, to be honest. Miroslava promised to find my dad, but I’m scared that he’ll already be dead or something.
I just hope he’s ok.
“It still surprises me that you believed what I said,” I tell Kat absentmindedly. She glances up from her work, raising an eyebrow. “About what?”
“About Miroslava, and what really happened. It would have made sense if you believed your dad; your family.”
Ekaterina smiles warmly, punching my arm. “You’re my family too, Kirrill. And besides…I know I can’t trust him. I mean that’s literally the reason he tried to kill mum, right?”
Smiling slightly, I turn my attention back to the wall in front of me. The sunlight filtering between the curtains lands on the dark wood, glinting off it in a way that reminds me of Wesley’s eyes.
Fuck, now I’m back to thinking about him.
It doesn’t matter: if I could spend all day thinking about him, I would.
—————
“You’ll be back soon though?”
Chewing on my lips to contain my smile, I hum. “We just need to pay them a short visit, we’ll be gone for like a week and that’s it. So…I’ll see you next Saturday?”
When Wesley speaks again, I can hear the smile in his voice.
Jesus, I’m so helpless already.
I’m going to tell him soon, I think. About my feelings. There’s a chance he likes me too, based on how he’s been acting.
And if I’m wrong…I just hope that we can still be friends.
I really don’t want to lose Wesley.
But as much as I want to be happy, I want him to be happy first.
“Kirrill! Let’s get a move on!” Kat calls, beckoning me over to her and Miroslava. The older woman gives me an affectionate smile before boarding the plane. I’ll be back soon, and then I’ll tell Wesley about my feelings.
—————
God, my Russian is more rusty than I thought. Everyone here speaks so quickly and fluently, it really drives home the fact that I haven’t set foot in Russia in many years.
I do however, manage to slowly get my ear back into the conversation in time to understand the gist of things.
The leader of this group is Akira Herring, who took over control of this group when they were still a teenager. Even though I’m technically taller than them, when we shake hands, I’ve never felt smaller.
This person is a force to be reckoned with.
And they’re only two years older than me.
Miroslava and Akira chat away happily over dinner, and it slowly sinks in that this was Miroslava’s home for a long time. So I’ll trust Akira somewhat; as much as I can trust a different gang leader, anyway.
“I’m curious why your son didn’t become the leader, if he’s the older one?” Akira asks Miroslava, looking between Kat and I. Miroslava laughs, shaking her head. “Kirrill is indeed my son, but not by blood or law. Fyodor would never allow another man’s child to lead his people, even if Kirrill would do a better job than him.”
Trying not to smile too much at being called Miroslava’s son by her herself, I try and pretend that I misunderstood her Russian and that that is not what she was saying. Even if by now I’m used to hearing the language again.
“Ah, I see. Fyodor always was a man who preferred power over good leadership, anyway,” Akira observes, taking a long sip from their wine glass. It’s nice hearing people other than Miroslava and Kat talking shit about the Boss.
I should really stop referring to him as that, he’s nothing now.
But I can’t help it. His role in my life is heavily ingrained into my mind, onto my skin.
After dinner, I quickly head to the room I’ll be staying in, where I reply to Wesley’s message, wishing him a goodnight too.
Before going to bed, I go to the room next to mine, which should have Kat inside. Knocking, I enter once I’m sure it’s my friend in there. She smiles at me, rolling onto her side and grinning. “Let me guess. You want some advice on how to tell Wesley you like him?”
Nodding sheepishly, I rub my elbow. “Um, yeah. I want to tell him once we get back.”
Kat smiles, sitting up quickly before her expression falters.
“Oh. Um, by the way…after you left, Akira mentioned some…problems, their gang has been having recently with a splinter group. It was semi sorted, but it’s possible that a gang war could start here, in the future.”
Frowning slightly, I wait for Kat to finish her point.
“And if that’s the case…we’d have to help them out. Mum would do anything for Akira; they’re really good friends, and as the leader, I’d…I’d have to help out too. Obviously you wouldn’t have to come with us, but most of the group would come, so…I just…I doubt we’ll always be located in England. If this does happen in the future, it’s possible that Akira and I will just…merge groups.”
Oh.
“So it’d be goodbye England,” I say slowly.
“It’d be goodbye Wesley,” Kat whispers.
Fuck.
“Kirrill listen, this is just a possibility. It’s not certain that things will go south again, and obviously I really hope that that doesn’t happen, for literally everyone’s benefit. But I just- I just thought I’d let you know,” Kat says softly, her expression genuine. She just wants to keep me in the loop.
And I appreciate that, I really do. I don’t want Wesley to have to wait for me, so… “I’ll hang fire on telling him, just until things have stabilised here,” I conclude, sitting down in Kat’s chair heavily.
“It won’t take long, I promise. I don’t want to stay in Russia forever, if I’m honest - I don’t like it being this cold, and I have my own girlfriend back home. But I’ll- I’ll help out Akira in any way I can, alright? We’ll sort this, prevent it from flaring up again,” Ekaterina assures me.
But I can just feel it. A familiar sense of dreading. The sense that no matter what, Wesley and I will just…
Not work.
Not now, anyway.
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