“I didn’t get to ask you much about yourself last time,” Connor said, needlessly stirring his plain, black coffee. “You ready to answer my questions now?”

“I don’t have anything to hide,” I chuckled. “Ask away.”

“Okay, well let’s get the easy stuff out of the way then. How old are you? Oh, and what’s your major?” Connor queried, his eyes studying me closely as I thought about what to say.

“I’m 19, at least for a few more months,” I answered. The crowded coffee shop was becoming uncomfortably warm, so I pushed my sleeves up slightly before continuing. “Don’t laugh, but I’m majoring in English. I know I can’t do anything with it, okay? Trust me, my parents remind me all the time. To be honest, I’m just not really sure what I want to do. What I do know is that I love to read, and majoring in English gives me an excuse to do just that. I’m sure something will come to me eventually, but I’m okay with not knowing for now. I mean, I can always go to grad school.”

“That’s true, you can,” Connor agreed. The look on his face was solemn but thoughtful, his eyes locked on mine. “Personally, I think it’s a shame that more people don’t allow themselves to major in the subjects they’re truly passionate about, so good for you. What’s your family like?”

“Well, they’re an interesting bunch, but I’m lucky to have them. My parents are still married, going on 25 years, I think. They’re loosely religious, meaning that they go to church on Sundays, but that’s pretty much where the piety stops. Let’s see, my mom is a hot shot lawyer and my dad is an accountant. I don’t know too much about what their jobs actually involve, but I do know that my mom is the breadwinner in our house because she won’t let any of us forget it,” I laughed, picturing my mom’s face during one of her rants. “I think I mentioned this at our last meeting, but I still live at home with them. It just makes sense financially, and since I’m the baby, I don’t think they mind me sticking around for a while. My older brother and sister both moved out last year, so I think they’re trying to hold on to me as long as they can.”

“I’m sure that’s been difficult for them,” Connor empathized. “So you have siblings? What are they like?”

“My siblings? Well, they’re a few years older than me. They’re twins, actually. You know, people have always asked me if I felt left out since I was born later on, but I’ve actually never, ever felt that way. If anything, Julia and Reid have always teamed up to protect and baby me, which is its own unique problem. I honestly kind of love it, though,” I confessed. “Julia, who is technically the oldest, is a med student across town, so she’s busy most of the time. Reid was supposed to graduate from our school last year, but he decided that he needed a hiatus to ‘find himself.’ Shockingly, my parents were cool with it, so he’s just kind of vibing right now. They’re both absolutely ridiculous, for different reasons, but I love them a lot. The three of us are very close.”

“Bo Collins!” I heard someone shout. I snapped my head to see none other than Sarah Perkins staring daggers at me and let out an audible sigh. Fucking goddamnit. Sarah was Addie’s best friend, and the two of us had never gotten along. She had begged my girlfriend to break up with me numerous times over the course of our relationship for absurd reasons, but Addie always rejected her pleas and stuck up for me when necessary. With nowhere to run, I could only watch as Sarah approached our table. She glared down at me with a look of disgust on her face, completely ignoring Connor. “Addie’s coming home this weekend. Are you going to see her?”

“Yes, Sarah. We have plans. Can you leave now?” I urged, silently praying she wouldn’t notice the pink lingering in my cheeks.

“Why do you always have to be such a dick, Bo? Who even is this that you’re sitting with?” she sneered, finally acknowledging Connor’s existence.

“He’s a friend,” I scowled.

“Whatever, I don’t care,” she huffed, flipping her hair aggressively in my direction. “See ya later, asshole.” Why did you even talk to me then?

I placed my elbows on the table and began massaging my temples with my fingers. “I’m so sorry about her, Connor. That’s Addie’s friend Sarah, and for whatever reason, she’s never liked me. But hey, she’s getting her wish, and I’ll be out of their lives soon enough,” I muttered.

“No need to apologize,” Connor reassured, his eyes full of affection. “So if Addie’s friends attend school here, does that mean she’s a student as well?”

“Not here, thank god. Addie attends cosmetology school across town, pretty close to where my sister goes, so our paths don’t cross much unless we want them to,” I explained, nervously twisting the watch on my wrist. “Once we break up, I doubt Addie and I will be seeing much of each other at all, but it’s probably best that way.”

Seemingly satisfied with my explanation, Connor’s gentle smile returned as he leaned over the table to speak, “We don’t have to talk about her anymore, Bo. I know it’s an unpleasant topic for you, but it seems to me that you let her go a long time ago even if she doesn’t know it yet. It’s okay for you to start moving forward.” Connor’s pinky lightly brushed against my own before lifting the coffee he was holding to his lips, and while the touch was subtle, I felt it throughout my entire body. 

I absentmindedly began rubbing my forearm when I suddenly noticed a wave of goosebumps spreading over the exposed skin. I cleared my throat in an attempt to collect myself before quietly blurting out, “Connor, do you have any plans tomorrow?”

When I peeked up to gauge his reaction, Connor was biting his lip gently with a look in his eye that I couldn’t place. “I’m having lunch with my mom, but I’m free after that. What did you have in mind?”

“I haven’t actually thought that far yet,” I laughed nervously. “It doesn’t even really matter what we do, I just want to do something, you know? With you.”

“I don’t know if I’ve told you this yet, but I like how honest you are, Mr. Collins. To answer your question, yes. I would love to spend some time with you tomorrow. Think on it and text me when you come up with something,” he kindly instructed before glancing at his phone. “Unfortunately, I think you’re going to be late to your next class if you don’t head there soon.” 

“Fuck! You’re right, I need to go. I’ll text later, but you think on it, too. If it’s left up to me, we may literally end up riding around all night,” I warned, throwing on my coat and bag haphazardly.

“That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

“How are your parents doing?” Clif asked as he pulled up to my family home. “I haven’t seen them in a while. Makes me feel like a bad son.”

“Clif, I honestly don’t know if there’s a single thing you could do that would piss them off,” I joked, even though it was the truth. My parents loved Clif, and they always went out of their way to treat him like family. “They’re alright, I guess. It’s busy season for dad and mom just snagged a new client, so they’re never home. I think they’re both trying to stay distracted so that they don’t have to think about the twins moving out.”

“I get it, I bet the house is too quiet for them these days,” Clif frowned, flipping his head over to gather his hair before twisting it into a relatively neat bun. “Want me to come in and say hello?”

“Nah, man, don’t worry about it. But hey, are you busy on Sunday? Come hang out and have dinner with us. I’m going to Addie’s in the morning, but that shouldn’t take too long,” I said, pulling myself out of his car. The thought of Clif being there after the inevitable talk eased my anxiety a bit.

“Sure, man! Just text me when you get home and I’ll come over.” Thank god. 

“Awesome. Be careful getting home,” I waved as the car began to pull away. Clif had gotten his own apartment when we started college, but sometimes I missed the days when he lived across the street.

“Will do!” he nodded, setting out toward the busy main road.

I turned around and walked toward the impeccably maintained house, which suddenly felt way too big for the three of us. The truth was, I missed my siblings, too. They had always just been there, and for me to suddenly not be able to see them every day hurt more than I had expected. Jules, as I often called her, made sure to touch base with me frequently, but Reid was another story. Rarely did he stay in the same place for longer than a week, and his phone was always dead. I worried about him more than I probably should have, but deep down I had a feeling that he would be okay.

I went inside the house and made a few laps through the main living areas to see if my parents were home. I didn’t see them anywhere, so I pulled a few books from my bag and dragged myself up the stairs. I closed my door, locking it behind me, and moved to lay on my neatly made, queen size bed. I’m so fucking tired, I sighed as I closed my eyes. I knew I had a lot to think about, but the quiet stillness in my room made it hard to stay awake. As I drew closer to sleep, I pictured Connor in the cerulean sweater I had seen him in that morning. 

I wonder what it would be like to kiss him?