Read late night thoughts :: I'm too tired for this

I feel so drained.

Idk why but I do.

I feel like everday is a blur and im just going in this endless cycle.

Theres so much noise and everyone is annoying me.

My headphones arent loud enough to block everyone out anymore.

I feel numb and I wanna stay like this but..

At the same time I want to be normal and I want to feel something.

I want to feel alive.

But I'm too tired to put in the effort.

I'm so lazy and I can't bring myself to do anything good for me.

I try for other people but I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve happiness, especially since I've made so many people feel like absolute shit.

I've made people cry, I've made them yell,

I try to make them smile but I keep dissapointing everyone.

Istg I hope I stop breathing in the middle of the night.

I'm not eating, I'm barely sleeping, and when I can fall asleep, I wake up 2 or 3 hours later and cant fall back asleep.

I'm a waste of space and im a nuisance to the people who call me their friend.

I'm sorry ok?

I'm sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry.

I DIDNT ASK TO BE BORN OK?

NOT LIKE THIS
GOD WHy am i still here?

I would say that im here for you but that might not even be true for much longer.

I'm sorry.