I couldn’t believe it.

The second my older brother stared at me it was as though he was a completely different person.

Although I was the one that asked for this I was beginning to regret it.

I couldn’t help but start sweating.

I was scared.

Frightened.

“How is it?” Tadashi said, air around him moving frantically. “Oh my, sweating already? I haven’t even released my blood lust yet.”

“Sh-Sh-shut up. Get on with it.” I stuttered; knees shaking.

This bastard has been holding back a whole lot more than what he’s been saying.

He hasn’t even emitted his bloodlust, yet my entire body is already telling me to give up. But I can’t. I want to go outside the village. I want to fight monsters. I need to withstand.

As I, so helplessly trembled, my older brother reached his right hand out to the air, when his white bladed, skinny, longsword manifested into his hand. He held it with both hands, blade extended outwards. “Don’t tell our father about what I’m about to do. He doesn’t know about this form.”

What? Form? What form?

A gust of wind suddenly picked up the dirt from around us and surrounded him entirely in a cloud of brown dirt.

It felt like hours before I saw his silhouette when the dust finally dispersed.

He was floating, held by nothing; carried by nothing, a couple feet off the ground. His usual parted gold hair was messy from the wind that surrounded him.

His black clothes were replaced with a dark red yukata and what looked to be onyx colored bandages on his body, neck to toe. It was as though the bandages had been dyed in the night sky, in the space that surrounded the stars and planets, but lacked the living essence of the stars that existed. His skinny white blade on the longsword turned a dark red, as if bathed in blood.

But what immediately caught my eye was the tear that fell from his right eye.

It was beautiful. He looked like a crying angel, drenched in blood.

Before I was able to ask him what he had just done, I felt it.

The bloodlust engulfed the entire area.

All the birds that were in the village had flown away, afraid that they would be killed.

Something, someone? I don’t know. What was it? There was something that cladded against my body, as if stabbing me with atom sized needles.

My chest tightened; lungs squeezed to the last ounce of air; I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to run but the fear oozing throughout my body, like icy water on the verge of solidifying, caused me to freeze. My trembling legs gave out, leaving me on my knees.

Who was this person? Where’s my older brother?  There’s no way that this could possibly be him. My sharp tongued yet kind older brother.

I wanted to start crying for someone to help me, but even my tears betrayed me at the feel of this pressure. It was as though they had gained self-awareness, not wanting to come out, afraid that I would be killed if they were to be released.

‘Someone. Anyone. Help me. Please.’

The words were stuck in my throat.

No.

I can do this. I need to do this. You’ve trained for three years. No matter what I must endure. I need to prove that I’ve grown. That I can survive on my own now.

I reached for my small blade that was in its sheath on my right side. I hesitantly moved my right, trembling, hand to grab it. I felt my older brothers gaze focus harder onto me. It felt as though he was staring holes through my body.

I recited the proverb my father taught me awhile back. ‘In order to move when faced with fear, all that’s needed is a catalyst to regain consciousness once again.’

With little force, but just enough to pierce through skin, I stabbed my blade into my thigh. “Nghhh!”

Although I could have pinched myself, the more fear one feels the bigger the catalyst needed.

The knife remained inside my thigh as I, still staring at the knife and the blood squirting from around the blade, began to hear footsteps hurriedly coming towards me.

“What the hell are you doing you psycho!?”

Gritting my teeth to prevent myself from yelling in pain, I stared at my older brother. His form dissipated, almost like it never existed and all I had seen was an illusion. ‘Are you really one to talk you damn demon?’

Instead of spiting my older brother, I smiled a wide smile. “Older Brother.”

He pulled the blade out of my thigh; blood squirted out, landing on Tadashi’s tunic, cheek, and pants.

“Aghhh! Be gentler older brother! It hurts!”

Tadashi didn’t speak; worry plastered on his face as he hovered his hands over the deep wound.

“Hellooo? You there older brother? Hellooooooo… don’t ignore me!!!”

“What you damned psychopath?!” Tadashi yelled, both of our eyes meeting.

I gave a thumbs up and winked.  “I win.”