Perhaps it was the distance to the school, perhaps it was my internal conflict, but either way, when I got to my classroom, I was a few minutes late.

     The teacher paused and looked at me as I slipped in the door at the back of the room.  “Thank you for joining us, Mr. Steele.  Please take a seat.”

     I cringed, knowing even with my eyes glued to the floor that the other students were probably all turned around in their seats, staring at me.  I quickly dropped into the nearest empty seat, pulled my heavy textbook from my backpack which I’d been wearing this whole time, and collected a notebook and pencil.  Time to focus on my class.

     I knew some of the students probably thought I was strange for taking notes by hand when this was a computer class.  I’d been told so in other classes I’d taken over the years, repeatedly.  I never answered them, knowing they wouldn’t understand the whole “I don’t have a computer” thing.  I could use the computers in the school library for class assignments that required computers, since they also came with any software that would be needed for my classes, but I couldn’t bring the school computers with me to class to take notes.  I had to use the old-fashioned notebook and pencil for that.

     I perked up some when the teacher began talking about our first project.  Creating a website for a small business, real or imagined, it was up to us.  I instantly thought of the café – it had a website, but it was badly out of date.  I could create a new page, updated graphics, better menus – oh.  Right.  I was going to quit.  That…that was unfortunate.  I would have loved to help them create a new website, but now….  Yeah.  Maybe not.  Or maybe it would be a nice goodbye present?

     I chewed on the eraser of my pencil, frustrated, as the teacher wrapped up class for the day.  I was always surprised at how fast the classes went, maybe that was because I actually enjoyed them and enjoyed learning.

     By the time I finally got back home that night, it was very late and I was exhausted.  I hadn’t found a job, I had spent who knows how long wandering around the city trying to apply to places, getting chased by a wolf, feeling guilty about maybe getting someone killed, and feeling worried about my class project.  I really enjoyed the class, I didn’t want to drop it, but unless I found a job that paid somewhat better than minimum wage despite my lack of education and minimal experience, I couldn’t see how I could keep going.

     I needed to face reality.  Problem was, reality and I weren’t good friends.

~~~~

     The next morning, I was antsy and nervous about going to the library.  Not about continuing my job search – although of course that was its own headache – but I was worried about what would happen when I opened up the news.  I was afraid I would see something about a wolf attack and know that I had, indeed, lead the wolf straight to a different victim.

     To my surprise, after I got there – aware, again, that someone, no doubt Sorrel, was following me again – there was nothing.  Nothing about a wolf, nothing about an animal attack, not even anything about a man being injured in Maplewood Park.  I hoped that meant he was okay, that help had arrived in time.  Even if he was one of them, that didn’t mean I wished he was dead.  I just wished he – and all of them – would leave me alone.

     Email presented me with two application rejections and one offer for an interview, at a large bookstore near my college that had a coffee shop inside.  I could feel my heart jump a little at the possibility of working at the bookstore.  I liked books, books were nice and harmless.  My café experience would be helpful there since they had a coffee shop and bookstores were usually quiet, right?  I hoped.  I responded, accepting the interview for Monday and noting the time and location.  Monday was my last “free” day of time off while still getting paid.  Then I had to either go back on Tuesday and risk running into Honey or quit and not have any income.  No income wasn’t really an option, but running into Honey wasn’t an option either, so…I needed this to work out.

     I also needed to figure out what to say during an interview.  I knew they would want to know why I was leaving the job I’d been at for almost six years for a job that wasn’t going to pay as well.  Would it be enough to say I was looking for something closer to my school?  Or did I need to come up with something more believable?

     No matter, this wasn’t the time to think of that.  I could focus on that question when I was home alone.  For now, I needed to get back to searching for jobs.  Just because I had an interview did not mean I had a new job so every application that I could turn in, I needed to.

     After online applications, it was back to walking all over town to turn in applications in person as required.  Those went about as well as they did yesterday, but this time I noticed that every time I left a place, I could feel those eyes on me again.  I had stopped paying attention yesterday after the library because I’d been so nervous, but I had no idea if they’d watched me through the whole wolf fiasco.  Today, though, I could feel the eyes, watching as I made my way from one place to the next, feeling more drained as each place gave their polite – or not so polite – rejections.  Yeah, in person I wasn’t exactly inspiring a reason to hire me.  I just hoped the place that gave me an interview wouldn’t reject it the moment they saw me, too.

     When I finished with my last place for the day, I sighed and took a moment to sit on a bench before heading home, trying to hold back tears.  I might be used to it, but it didn’t mean it still didn’t feel bad when they told me that “to be blunt, they couldn’t hire someone who couldn’t interact with other people properly.”  I could talk to people, could help them at my job if I needed to, I just…didn’t want to look at them.  Because that’s usually when I made a mistake and they saw it.  And that’s usually when I’d end up getting hurt.  But I didn’t need to look at people to help them, right?  I could do my job while not looking at them.  I really could.

     Someday.  Someday if I could get this degree and get a programming job where I didn’t have to deal with people, this would all be behind me.  As long as I kept holding on to get to that point.

     Someone sat down on the bench beside me, and before I could even think to dart off, handed me a bottle of water.

     “You know, I thought you were really quiet, but you seem to run around town a lot.”  Ren seemed slightly amused.  “Honey was worried when you took off work, but you’re just going to the library and running errands.  What – ”

     He stopped when it finally dawned on him that I’d frozen, not even breathing in my panic.

     He’d found me.  I mean, I figured Sorrel was following me, maybe Ren actually based on what he was saying, but I hadn’t expected him to talk to me again.  They didn’t, usually – they just followed me until they seemed to satisfy themselves that I was boring.  Right, it was different this time.  This time I was wandering all around town, that wouldn’t be normal.  It might look like I was trying to do whatever it was they were afraid I was going to do in the first place.

     I cringed away, debating trying to run but knowing he could keep up with me – he’d proven that the other day when he’d followed me to my apartment to beg me to help him.  Plus I was exhausted after the last few days and despite the alarms in my head, I wasn’t sure if I could even muster up the energy to run that far.

     So instead I froze, trying to remind myself to breathe but mostly wondering if I held really still if he’d give up on me and leave me alone.

     Of course that didn’t work.

     He slowly set the water bottle down next to me when I didn’t take it and then started fidgeting, apparently trying to figure out what to say.  “So, I don’t know if I ever really thanked you properly the other day.  I was exhausted, hungry, and panicking, I kind of forced you into helping me, I know that, and clearly freaked you out and I’m sorry about that, honestly.  I really don’t know if we could have gotten together to break the curse without you, and I hope you understand how grateful I am.”

     Sure, right.  Grateful.  Whatever he said.  I’d agree to anything he wanted me to agree to as long as he didn’t hurt me.

     Silence again.  Apparently he was hoping I’d respond, because he sighed quietly when I didn’t.

     “Anyways, um, I’m sorry Sorrel freaked you out.  Or all of us, I don’t know.  That was probably really weird for you.  Sorrel’s the oldest and he gets really protective of us, especially with the problems we’re having right now with the witches.”  He paused for a second, then seemed to make up his mind about something because his tone got a little more confident, almost like he was giving a speech.

     “So, I’m not sure how much you know about us and our world, but I’m assuming something, because you didn’t seem to be that surprised to hear about witches, you didn’t even bat an eye when I was in the café screaming at Honey, and you could see our magic.  When they were breaking the curse, I saw your expression – I know you saw that.”

     I shrank down, trying to appear smaller, less threatening.  I hadn’t meant to see anything.  That was always the problem, my stupid curiosity wondering what was going on and getting me in trouble when I saw – or said – something I shouldn’t.

     “Right, so anyway you’re either really good at dealing with stuff like this or you know some of what’s going on, so I’m just gonna explain.”

     Explain?  Explain what?

     Ren stretched out his legs and shifted to get comfortable.  “We’re fairies, my whole family.  We deal with nature magic, mostly, right?  Plants and animals and trees and healing and whatnot.  We tend to be viewed as helpful, neutral parties to most sides because we’re so…peaceful and non-threatening, I guess, but truth is we can be very scary sometimes.  If we turn dark.  Dark fae are terrifying and powerful but if we tip over that edge into darkness, it’s impossible to come back from.  So most of us try to never get to that point intentionally, which means we spend most of our time doing ‘goody fae stuff’ as my friend Nathan likes to call it.  Growing plants, healing, all that stuff.

     “My dad has this flower shop that also functions as a medical center for plant-based people, basically.  We grow and sell flowers there, but it’s more about the medical center in the back.  Humans don’t know about that, of course.  They think it’s some kind of greenhouse.

     “Mom works for Avenglade city.  This city has a particularly large population of supernaturals, which means a lot of species which may not get along with each other and a lot of conflicts.  We have our own police and stuff as well as people who work with human leadership and human police to make sure we deal with any threats our people cause but also to protect our people from issues humans cause for them.  Since Mom is fae and most supernaturals at least view us as not likely to start a fight, she helps negotiate between groups.

     “Sorrel is a vet.  Our abilities don’t just go to plants, right?  Animals, too.  So he can help heal animals faster than normal, he just tries to hide it some since humans might be surprised that their cat with nearly fatal injuries is healed right away.  I know he comes across as tough and unfeeling but he has a soft heart.  He loves animals, wouldn’t hurt anyone if he could help it.  I hope you and him can be friends eventually, just – try to give him a chance?  He doesn’t mean to come across as rough as he did that night.  He was worried about me to begin with and then he didn’t know what to think about you.  He’s really not that bad usually.”

     He paused again, apparently hoping I’d respond, but when I didn’t, he sighed and continued.

     “Honey got a dual degree in biology and botany.  She’s currently working on her MD.  She wants to help Dad in his clinic.  Well, actually you might already know what she’s studying, since you’ve known her a while – I don’t know.  She said she talks a lot to you and her other coworkers but she doesn’t really know much about you personally other than that you’re really quiet, a hard worker, you don’t like to deal with customers if you can help it, and you’re always willing to help out even if people don’t realize that you’re helping them.  She said you often switch shifts and things to help people?  I don’t remember what all.  Anyway she likes you, she just said she doesn’t know that much about you outside of work.”

     I really wasn’t sure what to do with this topic of conversation.  What was I supposed to say, that I was glad she’d observed me more than I’d realized?  I had no idea that anyone other than Molly was aware that I’d told Molly that if anyone needed someone to fill in for them, they could add me to the schedule.  It wasn’t purely selflessness, to be honest, because if I worked more hours, it meant more money to save for classes.  But yeah, I was always glad when I could help the coworkers out, even if it was just doing some of their chores like refilling cups when they were busy with something else.  I just never thought anyone noticed.

     It was kind of embarrassing.  And scary.  Because Honey was one of them and had reason to kill me.  So any observations she made meant she knew more about me than I’d initially thought.

     “Uh, well, anyway, then there’s me.  Just started my senior year at university.  I’m studying photography.”  Ren unexpectedly heaved a large sigh.  “My parents don’t get it.  They think I’m pursuing something random that isn’t traditional fae stuff.  I mean, first of all, I don’t necessarily want to be stuck in a rut of just doing what’s expected of fae – plants and animals and all that.  I like them, don’t get me wrong.  That’s actually why I want to do photography.  I want to capture all these things that people don’t always see.  A sunrise, a tiny fern growing out of a rock – even the rock itself.  People don’t take enough time to see the beauty in nature around them.  So I’m trying to capture it and show it to them.  But Mom and Dad don’t get that.  They think I’m just playing around and wasting time and eventually I’ll get into ‘real’ fae work.

     “But anyway, that’s my family in a nutshell.  Typical fairies apart from me, although I don’t personally think I’m that different.”