“So, you’ve been talking to him?” I asked eyebrows raised. When our parents died, Diego left. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since. Leanne never mentioned him, and definitely not that she was in contact with him.

“He’s been working Downtown for a month now and he wants to see us. I thought since you’re not going to school today…”

“No,” I said with finality in my voice.

Leanne sighed and stepped closer. “He really is sorry for turning away from us like that. He had to grieve in his own way. We all did. And now he’s back and wants to come home.”

Diego was my older brother who left us when he heard of our parents’ death. He was in so much denial that he demanded to see their bodies himself. Seeing the bodies must have broken him, because after leaving months ago, he hasn’t been back. We were only stopped from calling the police when he called Leanne to let her know he was alive, but we hadn’t seen him since then, and we never spoke about him.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, though I would rather spend the rest of my day catching up on the sleep I had lost from my nightmare. My head pounded just thinking about it. My migraine had dulled, but not completely and my stomach felt uneasy.

“I’ll be finished with Michael by eleven so if you’re coming, call me.”

“Okay,” I said. She adjusted her bag’s strap on her shoulder and left for her breakfast date.

Cristóbal looked at me expectantly like he was waiting on me to say something. “Do you want to see Diego?” The way his eyes lit up after I asked him made feel a little lighter inside, but I didn’t want to feel lighter. I wanted to be angry at Diego for leaving us at such a fragile time. He could have stayed.

I didn’t get to work myself into a mood because Austin and Zayne finally made their appearance, and it was obvious that they had gotten up to something after I left them.

“Just sit and eat,” I said when Zayne looked ready to explain what took them so long.

“Why are you guys not at school today?” Zayne asked.

“Something’s wrong with the air conditioning and they don’t want any accidents, so they notified all the parents and guardians this morning of it.”

“Want me to take you tomorrow?”

“Sure,” I answered, pushing the food around on my plate. I wasn’t really hungry, just tired. “Leanne invited me to go see Diego today.”

“…Oh?” Zayne said leaning back in his chair. Even a continent away, he knew how upset I was when Diego left without any explanation or goodbye. “Are you going to go?”

“I’m still thinking about it. I have a few hours before I have to make up my mind.”

There was a part of me that wanted to see Diego. I mean, he was my brother after all, and I loved him. I missed him. Then again, there was another part of me that was angry that he left Cris and me and disappeared. It wasn’t right. He left us to deal with our parents’ death alone, while he ran off to God knows where, and did God knows what, with God knows who. They weren’t my biological parents, but they were the only parents I knew, and I loved them. We all did.

“I think you should forgive him,” Zayne said softly.

“Really?” I asked. Zayne had been furious when I told him Diego left. He even vowed to behead Diego the next time he saw him, so hearing him say I should forgive my brother came as a shock to me.

“Yeah. It was a rough time for all of you guys and you know how close he was to your dad.”

Austin raised his hand as if he was in school, and I had completely forgotten he was at the table too. “I know this is none of my business, but can I say something?”

“Y-Yeah,” I said.

“Forgiveness is great and all, but it’s also okay if you don’t want to see your brother just yet. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to see him because everyone wants you to. If you aren’t ready, then you aren’t ready.”

Relief washed over me at his words. “Thank you,” I said, genuinely feeling like he understood where I was coming from.

After breakfast, we all got together to clean up and put the leftovers away. Austin closed the fridge door and did a double take at the miniature calendar held in place by a magnet on it. His eyes widened slightly but he regained his composure when he turned towards us. “Hey, I need to go out for a few things today,” he said nervously.

“Want company?” Zayne asked, taking up Cris’ and my plate to wash for us.

“Nah, I’m good. Can I borrow your car if you’re not using it today? I might take a while.” He was fidgeting and seemed nervous.

“So, everyone is leaving me?” Zayn asked, throwing his hands up. “Go ahead. I’m going to enjoy the quiet house all by myself.”

“I could take the bus, you know,” Austin said, seemingly unsure of how genuine Zayne was. “It would just be quicker to drive, and I could use the practice.”

“Take my car. The faster you can get your errands done, the sooner you’ll be back home with me,” he said, ruffling Austin’s sandy blond hair.

“You can take my car and go somewhere if you want to,” I offered, not wanting Zayne to be bored at home without the means to go somewhere if he felt like it. He was an extrovert, so being alone for too long made him miserable. “Cris and I will be riding with Leanne,” I offered. He nodded but said he probably wouldn’t use it.

“I should get going. I just have to change my clothes and head out,” Austin said quickly. He ran upstairs. In no time, he was running back down the steps, even skipping some and trying to pull a red shirt over his head at the same time. “Later,” he said but Zayne called him over to the kitchen island. Without warning, Zayne leaned across the island and placed a light kiss on his cheek. I guess it surprised Austin, but he tugged on Zayne’s shirt and whispered something to him that made him go red.

Cris rolled his eyes playfully and made a gagging sound, using it as an excuse to go back up the stairs, presumably to his room.

“You two make me jealous,” I said once Austin left.

Zayne gave me a wicked grin. “Maybe it will be motivation to not get involved with any more pricks.”

“You make it sound like I have a type,” I said, slightly offended.

“Uhm, the two boyfriends you’ve ever had were absolute asses. First there was Joshua who cared more about his hair and cuticles than you, and was a jealous, controlling dick,” he said, holding up a finger. He added another as he continued. “And then there was Jack who, lucky for him, I haven’t met, because with the stories I’ve heard, he sounds worse than Jacob. In case you don’t realize, that’s saying something.”

I flushed, embarrassed. “Okay, okay. Maybe I have terrible taste in guys, but Joshua wasn’t that bad.”

“Do I need to list all the things he did to refresh your memory?” he asked. “He treated you like a child, he blamed you for every argument you two ever had, he tried to get you to stop talking to me because he was so insecure and couldn’t trust you around other guys-”

“Please stop,” I groaned, resting my head on the island. “In his defense, I did act a bit childish. He was older, I was insecure, and I made a fool of myself trying to be something I wasn’t, so it might have been my fault that relationship went south.” Zayne was about to comment, but I held up a hand to stop him. “Or both of ours. But enough about me.”

“Nope. More about you, is what you mean. I know you haven’t been sleeping well, and it’s obvious you’re not doing so great.” Zayne started running his fingers through my hair comfortingly. “I know there’s something you’re keeping bottled up, and it shows.”

I turned my head to look at him, my eyes suddenly feeling watery. “Is it bad that I’m miserable with the life I have? I sound like an ungrateful bitch, right?”

Zayne slowly shook his head. “You know what we’re going to do this morning? We are going to lounge around the pool and spill our guts to each other until Leanne comes back. Change and meet me by the pool?”

I didn’t resist. While I wanted to talk to Zayne about everything that was bothering me, it seemed like a selfish thing to do. He was so happy with Austin being around that I didn’t want to wreck it for him. Loading my problems onto his shoulders would only make me a bad friend.

Despite that thought, I joined him by the pool once I changed into something more poolside appropriate. He had already gone for a dip and was sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in the water. I took a seat next to him and dangled my legs in the cool water. It wasn’t humid like Florida’s usual temperature, but it was very warm.

“Now, can you please tell me what’s bothering you?” he asked softly.

I moved my legs around in the water. “It’s nothing you need to worry about. I’ll get over it.”

“Would you stop that for a minute and be real with me?” Zayne asked with a touch of annoyance in his tone. “I’m trying to be here for you because I know something is bothering you. Why won’t you open up to me? When did we start hiding things from each other?”

“I don’t want you worrying about me. I’m f-”

“If you tell me you’re fine, I’m going to lose my shit. If you’re not ready to talk, then that’s okay. Keep it all bottled up for a little longer if you want, but don’t lie to me.”

I rubbed my eyes with a heavy sigh. My eyelids were so heavy, but I knew that even if I tried to go back to bed, I wouldn’t fall asleep. Would it feel better to talk about it? Or would it make me feel worse for passing my burdens to someone else? “Promise me you won’t judge me,” I told him.

He raised his hand, pinky finger jutting out. I would have laughed at his childish way to seal a promise if I felt I had much strength left. I linked my pinky with his and leaned on his shoulder with a sigh, wondering where I should start.

“A few weeks ago, I got myself into some trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“The kind that led me to some shady guys who had a load of what I can only assume to be drugs hiding away down a dark alley,” I tried to explain.

“You weren’t taking said drugs, were you? Because even though I won’t judge, I do advise against it,” Zayne said, his voice hardening as if he was preparing himself for the worst.

“Drugs scare me,” I said honestly. “I’m not going to say I would never take it if I was in a low enough point in my life where I thought it would help, but right now I will say that I can’t see myself trying it.” I would take a sip of alcohol here and there, but drugs freaked me out too much.

“Good,” he said, shifting closer to me. “Go on.”

“It was my own curiosity that led me there, but I was grabbed and led into a dark room. They tied me to a chair and told me not to scream. I think they were planning to…” I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory.

Zayne wrapped an arm around me. “It’s okay. You can skip that part.”

I was grateful. “Someone helped me out and told me to run. I felt bad leaving him behind with those men, but I knew if I had stayed, there was nothing I could have done. He told me not to tell anyone about what happened or call the police, so I kept it to myself. I didn’t tell Leanne. I didn’t tell the police. It was stupid, I know. I should’ve told someone.”

“Wait a second. Leanne doesn’t know this?”

“No,” I answered, voice soft. “You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“You’re right. That was stupid. They could have seriously hurt that guy. They could have hurt you even worse than they did. Who’s to say they haven’t tried assaulting someone else?”

“I know all that, but I was scared!” I exclaimed, pulling away from him. “It’s like fight or flight wasn’t kicking in and I was frozen. I wasn’t thinking, okay? But he got away. I don’t know what happened after I left, but he’s fine.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he came to see me and even made a joke about how hard I was to find.” I could feel Zayne’s horrified glare on me, so I didn’t bother looking at him. I would have reacted the same way. “He only came to check on me. He didn’t try anything or do anything to me. All he said was that he wanted to see if I was alright.”