神の妖怪

God’s Youkai

十一

Just like the last time, Minami couldn’t read the God’s feelings at all. As if he had some sort of shield, a mask to hide his real thoughts from the rest of the world. Minami couldn’t help but think that it was a little bit sad. And lonely.

The man weakly smiled at the boy, taking his silence as an answer. When the God went outside, Minami briefly closed his eyes, before following after. For some reason, the man decided to give him another chance, and the youth prayed not to mess it up again.

Minami noticed the God standing a little bit further, under naked branches of the wisteria tree, looking up at them like he was remembering something nostalgic. At least that was what Minami thought, seeing his faintly opened eyes, gentle gaze. Even if he wasn’t smiling, his hair neatly braided, longer strands tied up at the back, opened divine features. His fluffy fox ears were moving a bit, and even though the God’s white tails today were hidden and not visible, he still looked magical.

He really wasn’t a part of Minami’s world.

The boy felt more nervous as he walked towards the God, but the man did say that he wanted to take a walk with Minami, right? Somewhere in the distance, the youth saw other students, they gathered in a small group, staring in his direction. Minami wasn’t feeling comfortable about this situation. About others seeing him with the God. And Yet.

“Don’t mind them.” The man slowly turned at the youth, then stepped forward, first he crossed a little bridge over the artificial pond, then continued walking through the path, entirely surrounded by these impressive creations - wisteria. “Come with me, Minami.”

Was there anything his blue eyes could miss? Minami pressed his lips thinking, then quickly caught up to the God.

“I have never seen how wisteria blooms.” The boy shyly confessed as he was already walking next to the God’s side. “So… I’m very excited to see and touch it… It must be wonderful.”

“You never visited this shrine before? When wisteria blooms?” The man sounded like he was genuinely surprised, and the boy couldn't help but feel embarrassed that he didn’t.

They were officially allowed to visit the shrine only a few days per year, but his aunt and uncle never bothered to bring him along. The boy let his head down.

“Then it must be really exciting for you. A lot of people gather here to celebrate. The shrine feels lively.” For some reason, the God didn’t seem to be impressed or excited about it. It must be tiring for him to handle so many prayers at once.

“The Day of Ryou… sir, is it your birthday?” Minami dared to ask, hoping he wasn’t crossing any boundaries. He even dared to look up a bit but had to quickly let his eyes down. Seeing the God’s strong profile from this angle, gently smiling at Minami’s words, suddenly made the boy’s heart pound faster.

“It is when people celebrate it… so I suppose. Gods don’t really have birthdays.” The man explained casually, but that only made Minami more ashamed about his lack of knowledge.

The God stopped next to the bench. Above it, wisteria’s branches were tangled like a tiny roof. Minami caught himself thinking that it must be a cozy place to sit when it blooms. Secretly the boy dreamed about coming here again with the God when it happens. The man sat down, crossing his legs, shutting his eyes with a deep sigh. Minami anxiously stepped in the spot, as he wasn’t sure if he could join the man. But then finally sat next to him, keeping his distance a bit, tips of his feet pointed at one another, fingers clenching the edges of his clothes.

“Hmmm… sir… I was wondering if… there was another God of health?” Minami thought about that before, since the God mentioned last time he was over 600 years old. Was he always alone?

“Curious boy, aren’t you Minami…” The God quietly giggled. Here he was again having fun from how silly Minami’s questions were. The boy didn’t mind, although, as long as he could talk with the man.

“I’m… sorry… just…” Minami stared at the tiny rock under his feet, with burning cheeks. If he continued flushing every time the God talked with him, the man would never look seriously at the youth.

“You remember that Gods are born from wishes, right?”

Minami quickly started nodding, even though the God wasn’t looking at the boy. Of course, he remembered every last thing the man told him. Minami drank every word from the God, as if all of them were blessings.

“Peoples’ desires… their values and beliefs change over the years. Humans are uncertain about things they believe in… The things they ask and pray for as well. We are here as long as you need us. There was another God before me, but not anymore.”

Minami always thought that Gods are devoted to humans as much as they are to them, but from the way the man talked about it, it sounded like all people did was for their own satisfaction. It didn’t sound like the God felt anything but disappointment in humanity. As he was sure the day would come when he would be forgotten. Only the thought of it could make Minami tear up, he didn’t want to believe that one day he might be gone as well.

“So… the previous God… just died?” The boy’s voice shivered a bit from that terrifying truth.

“It’s more complicated than that. But if it’s easier for you then… you can say that.” The God finally opened his eyes, and at the same moment Minami looked up.

At this golden hour, when the shrine was drowning in sunlight, the God’s face was enlightened with amber dust, making him look something so fragile, distant, and sadly beautiful that Minami for a moment feared he might disappear in this magical mist, leaving the boy alone.

“S-sir… will you… also… one day…”

“As long as someone believes in me, I will be here.” The man saw how Minami struggled to ask, but the God himself didn’t seem conflicted about it at all. As if he was already tired of his long existence.

“I will never stop believing in you, sir!” Minami shouted way too excited and louder than he intended to, but finally, the God’s face changed. The man’s bright eyes became a little bit wider. He raised eyebrows, as an honest surprise filled his face. Minami never thought he would see such a view, but every part of him became numb when the man gifted the boy with his smile.

“Then... I shall have nothing to be worried about.” This time the man didn’t hold back, like before. He stretched his hand, crossing the gap separating him and the boy, gently touching the youth’s hair.

Minami closed his eyes, just trying to melt into the God’s warmth.