Oh Okay" he says and I expect him to hang up but he doesn't, I end the call after a few seconds and I breathe deeply. This is beyond me. This is what I have been dreaming of since the day I heard his voice from my neighbor’s speaker. I am drawn to him when I saw him yesterday at Sade’s party, more than what I can comprehend. I should be happy about this because this is literally what I want from him, but why am I feeling like this? I am having mix feeling about the way he is so good to me. I feel like something is off but I don’t know what it is. It is too good to be real and it scares the hell out of me.

It is already late in the evening when I get back to my hostel. I am so tired and I am not hungry because I ate buns and coke in school. I shower and I lied in my bed. All my thoughts are all over him as I fall asleep.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I grab it and I look at the name on the screen with my eyes half closed. I see Fresho on the screen and my eyes open widely. I watch it ring a few times before I pick it at the last ring.

"Hello, how are you"? He asks

" I'm fine," I answered.

" Your voice is dull, did I wake you?"

" Yes", I answer,

" I am sorry about that, let me leave you to go back to sleep, we will see in school tomorrow". He says.

"Okay" I say and he hangs up.

I stare at his name on my phone log for a few minutes and I sigh. I open my Instagram page and search for his name. I have followed him so it isn't hard to find his Instagram page. He posted a new picture today. I like the picture and as I am about to scroll down to other pictures I see the caption " The weak fall in Love, The strong play the game.”

The caption wakes me up from my daydream. It answers all my unanswered questions. My eyes well in tears as I stare at the caption. Does that mean he wants to play me? The strong play the game uhn? Is he playing with me? Is this how he starts his game with ladies? Is this how he toys with people's hearts and calls it a game? He will enter ladies through friendship and lead them on into falling in love with him? Or what name will I call the way he is good to me? I don't know if I have already fallen in love with him because the pain I am feeling right now is second to none. It isn't just a crush anymore. But why me? Of all people, why me? I feel a wetness on my cheek. Am I crying ? Has it gotten to this level? "What's wrong with me?" I say it out as I sob silently.

I cry for a very long time, I wipe my tears when I am done and I start consoling myself. I can't even date him so what's the meaning of this unrequited love. How can I, a girl from a very religious home, date a guy like that? He has tattoos all over his body, he probably drinks alcohol and smokes cigarettes or whatever, he keeps a thug- like hair though it looks good on him but it doesn't matter. I am sure he has many girls already, as many as possible. Girls that he toys with. Even if he doesn't want them, they want him so it's not totally his fault. But those girls can never be me and I can never be them. I refuse to be toy with or be used to play games or whatever. I need to get over him.

I stand up and walk to the bathroom, I wash my face and I wipe the water. I enter my room, I grab my mathematics textbook, I put one menthol chew gum in my mouth and I start calculating. This is what I do whenever I am unhappy. I cry it out then I solve mathematics. After I read for hours, I fall into a deep slumber. Tomorrow is another day.

I wake up 30 minute before my alarm goes off. I remember there is a public holiday today so I go back to sleep and I wake up at 10am. I cook rice and beans with fish stew. But I am unable to finish the portion I serve myself so I cover it for later. I take my bath, dress up casually and I call Yemi if she is at home that I want to visit and she tells me to come.

I buy some snacks and cola on my way to Yemi's hostel. I really need to see her, I want to pour my heart out for her. I need someone to teach me how to stop loving Fresho. I can't be like this for long if I don't want to go crazy. I can't stop thinking about him. I keep remembering the way he smiled at me, the way he reacted to make his joke funny, the way he acted like he cared about me and many more. Our encounter is not more than twice but the stupid me keep repeating the scenes like it has been happening for long. It is so painful.

Her hostel isn't far from mine so it doesn't take me much time to get there. When I get to her hostel I knock on her door and she opens the door for me. she reaches for the black nylon I am holding. "Did you get this for me? She says,

"No, for us." I say and we laugh.

"So, what's the matter, you coming to my hostel on holiday is rare. I know you like using your short holiday to eat, read, sleep and eat again." She says with narrow eyes.

I let out a deep sigh. I sit on her bed and she sits on the floor, in front of me. I press my lips together and I look at her.

"I think I'm in love but…....” I say, Yemi chokes on the coke she is sipping before I finish my statement.

"Careful, Yemi!" I say,

"What did you just say, you, you are in love? With who?" She looks like she just heard something unbelievable.

"Calm down, let me finish my statement.” I say.

"OMG, Lara, how can I calm down right now? You, my ever innocent friend, are finally in love. Do you know the amount of time I beg you to give one of your wooers a chance?” She says,

"Well, it is an unrequited love, am not even sure if he likes me talk less of love." I whimper.

"What! Unrequited what? You... How? Lara, you ve never cared about any man before, how did it happen"?

" That's the same question I have been asking myself. But I don't know the answer to it but all I know is the more I am trying not to love him the more I am falling deeper for him". Tears roll down my eyes.

Yemi hugs me and says, " Oh God, I am sorry about that. All this is going on with you and you didn't tell me for all this while. Tell me everything in detail, who knows maybe he loves you too, I mean who wouldn't love a beautiful and well mannered girl like you”. She says worriedly.

I wipe my tears and I continue, "This love is impossible. At first I thought it was a crush a fan usually has for a celebrity, but I keep going deeper into it".

"Wait, celebrity! Hope he is not who I am thinking. Fresho right"? She asks and I nod.