Holistic Concoction

Back on the road, Omoide continues to read through Benjimin's journal. The days after his drunken ramblings, Benjimin seems to be calm and accepting of the dreams and feelings he is having. He has become very clinical and has separated his researcher self from his subject self. For days, the entries are very precise and clinical with very little feelings or assumptions added. Benjimin does note that he has stopped going to the office by the end of the month and has all but abandoned his other research projects. He no longer mentions anyone other than himself and other great minds of psychology and a few online charlatans of dream theory.

At the beginning of the next month, there are several weeks of pages with just the date and a few lines that make no sense. They read like a grocery list or inventory. The next full journal entry is a week prior to the email Omoide received today.

Journal entry - Monday?

I'm using different speech dictation software as I am having trouble getting my fingers to type what I think but I can still speak my mind. Damn technology is frightening these days.

Sumi insisted on installing and going through the tutorial for this software personally since I seemed to have been using the other one incorrectly. She has also taken on the role of nursemaid and has begun monitoring my weight and vitals as she says I look to be out of a coffin. I have no appetite but do eat the mashed gruel Sumi prepares for me daily. In any case, my physical condition has worsened as I have a hard time doing anything more than sleep and submitting these journal entries.

Work consisted of video conferences and discussions of my lack of participation. I have turned over projects 1 and C to Harold and 2, A and B to Sumi. Just knowing I won't be hassled about those projects have taken some stress off my mind.

End

2:30 AM

It wasn't a nightmare that cause me to wake this time. It was a dream. I remember a wide area of land full of this blue-green grass. It looked like ocean swells in the breeze. I could feel the wind, it was warm and comforting. There was a tree, a huge old gnarled cherry tree with a rope swing hanging from one of the lower branches. There was no one there, just the swing, moving in the breeze. I couldn't move, just observe the world in my dream. I was then laying on my back, looking up at the sky and watching the clouds drift by. It was beautiful and calming and I just wanted to stay there, in the warm breezes and soft grasses just watching the clouds move across the bluest sky I have ever seen.

At some point I must have closed my eyes and was just listening to the wind through the big cherry tree's branches and the rustling of the grasses near me. I thought I heard someone walking through the grass towards me but I couldn't open my eyes. Then I heard a voice, it was right above me, so close their body cast a shadow across my face. The voice said, 'You don't belong here. I will send you back, just sleep, little soul.' I fell asleep in my dream and awoke in my bed.

Now that I'm fully awake, I'm confused about what this dream means. I feel both calm but agitated because I was forced out of my dream. What does this all mean? Some could interpret the dream to be my soul's accent to the God's Realm, that I had died or was on the brink of death. Was my soul rejected? Was my life spared and my soul sent back to the mortal realm, to my body? If so, why? Why have I been made to suffer these nightmares and dark memories of a life I have never lived?

I need to replicate my day before I went to sleep last night. I need to get back into that dream and ask them why. Why was my soul rejected? What is the meaning of my life in the mortal realm when all I am doing is suffering and slowing loosing my mind? My life is filled with pain and uncertainty but in the dream I was calm, content and felt at peace with leaving everything behind.

End

Omoide continued to stare at the monitor, his eyes moving rapidly from side to side as he read Benjimin's journal entry again and again. A confused expression settles on his face as he makes a few more notes on his notepad to the right side of the monitor. He knows that ordinary people die and that their souls do go back to the God's Realm. What he doesn't know is if the consciousness continues to exist outside of the body, does it also travel to the God's Realm?

His role on this world is to collect the memories of past lives from the minds of the original 100 souls that his god created for this world. Where the other souls come from and what happens to them when their vessel dies has never been his concern, but now Omoide is troubled about Benjimin's dream and what it could actually mean.

He is still working through all the questions in his mine, making notes and scratching them out again. He feels frantic, like he has no control over this situation. It's a feeling he is not familiar with either and that is making it worse. His stress and frustration continue to build until he snaps the pen in his hand in half, the sharp bent metal digging into his palm.

"Kuso! Why am I so upset? Dreams like this are not uncommon among the people of this world. Is it because this is someone I know, someone I spent time with? There have been others, others that I was close to, but I didn't get upset when they aged and their soul left this world." He lets his head fall back against the seat back and closes his eyes. "I need to think about this logically, without my personal feelings getting in the way."

He takes in a deep breath, holds it for a few seconds and slowly exhales as he sits upright again. Feeling more centered and in control of his thoughts, Omoide's attention returns to the monitor before him just as a new email notification comes through. He sees it's from Benjimin and starts to feel tense again but regains his composure quickly. Opening the email, he begins to read.

Hello Mr. Bannin,

My name is Sumi Masen. I’m a one of the researchers at The Center and work closely with Benji on several of his projects. I'm sorry for high jacking this email but Benji's laptop was opened and he was planning on responding to you before he fell unconscious last night. I have been checking on Benji for about a month now, making sure he eats and bathes and just takes care of the general necessities of his life.

I know he sent you his journals so maybe you have a better idea of what he is going through and what he is doing to try and alleviate his condition. I do know that he has been delving into holistic sleep remedies but from what I have found in his lab, I think he is trying to induce a certain dream state. In any case, Benji is alive and stable at the moment but I fear his body is starting to shut down from lack of care.

If you have any ideas about how to bring him out of this state of unconsciousness, don't hesitate to call.

Sumi Masen

888-999-9090

Omoide lays his head back and pinches the bridge of his nose as he pulls in a deep inhale. "Benjimin, what has happened to you? " He says as he pushes out a long exhale.

He sits up and looks at the phone number in the email reply and begins to dial the number.

"Hello, Sumi Masen speaking." Answers a tired voice with a heavy sigh.

"Hello Ms. Masen, I am Omoide Bannin, I am a friend of Benjimin's from college. I'm currently in route to his location. I should arrive within the hour. What is his current condition?" He asks in a more clinical manner than he had intended.

"Ah, hello Mr. Bannin. It good to finally put a voice to the infamous persona. You know, Benji talks about you all the time and anytime he has a theory, he always wonders what you would say about it. It's great that he has such a close 'friend' that he can confide in." Sumi says with some sarcasm that isn't noticed by Omoide.

She then continues with an update on Benjimin's condition, "Benji seems to be resting comfortably, He has gone through 2 bags of IV fluids and nutrients and his fever has broken. I believe we may have intervened just before organ failure but I'm not a medical doctor so I can't be sure. I will tell you that he has required restraints as he kept regaining consciousness only to pull out his IV's and removed the sensors every time. He has been quiet for the last 3 hours." Sumi releases a long sigh once she has finished her 'report' to Omoide.

Omoide makes a few notes on his tablet and clears his throat before replying, "Thank you, Ms. Masen. In your email you mention some sleep remedies that Benjimin has been trying. What makes you think they are to induce dream states? What exactly has he been messing with in his lab?"

Shifting of the phone can be heard as Sumi moves the phone around in her hand. "Well, mostly dried herbs maybe. Some seed pods and ground powders. They aren't in containers, just were wrapped up in paper or cloth. I have sent them to our lab for analysis. I have never seen these before and I don't know in what measurements he has been blending them. There was a cup with residue and other equipment that has also been sent to the lab."

"Did you take photos before moving anything?" He asks.

"Yes of course we did." She replied as she moved the phone again. There was a muffled conversation happening on the other end that Omoide couldn't hear clearly. "Sorry about that. I can send the photos if you would like." She answers and again covers the phone but their voices are raised again and Omoide can make out part of the conversation….. "…. Of course it matters…….. Why would he? …that's not what I’m saying, no, Benji trusts him so we should as well..... Harold, wait… come on…."

The phone is repositioned when Sumi speaks again, "Sorry about that. Um, one of our collogues is here as well. Harold Simkin. He has some… um.. Trust issues. Especially when it comes to Benji's wellbeing." She says in an apologetic tone.

"One moment, Ms. Masen." Omoide puts his side of the call on mute.

"Ms. Shugosha, how much longer until we arrive?" He barks out, frustration evident in his voice.

"10 Minutes sir. Is there a change in destination?" She asks calmly waiting for Omoide to give his decision. "No, continue on course. I'm going to get dressed now and will let you know when I'm ready." He says, still deep in thought.

"Ms. Masen, we will be arriving in about 15 minutes. I would like to see those pictures and meet both you and Mr. Simkin. Maybe together we can figure out a treatment for Benjimin." He says this very gently as he wants both Sumi and Harold there to fill in the blanks left in Benjimin's journal.

Omoide can hear Sumi calling to Harold to stay a little longer, "Okay, Mr. Bannin. We will be here. And please give Harold some time. This has been very hard on him. Benji is one of his closest friends and he has refused all help Harold tried to offer." She inhales and huffs out a sigh, "Listen, Omoide, Benji didn't only muse about your opinion on his theories. Lately he would talk about wondering where you were and what you were doing.. I think he really misses you and not just for your professional opinion on things." She trailed off to a whisper by the end of her sentence. "I think Harold was a little jealous so please try to understand his attitude when you arrive. He's a great guy and really cares for his friends, but I think he has been suffering just as much as Benji has been over all this."

There was a long silence on both sides of the conversation. Omoide was deep in thought while Sumi was wondering if she said too much but it was quite the opposite in Omoide's mind. He too, has been thinking about Benjimin in much the same way. Not so much about what he was working on but more about how he is doing personally. Is he happy? Had he found someone? Is that why it's been so long between their emails and phone calls?

Sumi clears her throat on the other end of the call, "Mr. Bannin? I'm sorry if that was too much information… I … just thought it was important for you to know. So you could understand where Benji's thoughts have been these last few months." She says as her voice drifts off.

A soft tone sounds bringing him out of his dazed thoughts, "Sir, we should be arriving in 5." Keibiin says softly through the coms.

"Ms. Masen, we will be arriving shortly. Thank you for everything you have been doing for Benjimin. We will speak again very soon." Omoide ends the call without waiting for her to respond. "Thank you, Ms. Shugosha, I will let you know when I’m ready to exit the vehicle." He says as he pulls on his suit jacket and then begins to shut down the mobile workstation.