15. An Exchange

Aphrodite

I was both glad and apprehensive in this moment. The King and his entourage had just left me here. On my own, with him.

My one, the one I had waited for ages. The more the time went by, the more certain I was becoming of our bond. 

Well we were not completely not on our own. Eucleia was here with us still. Why was she still here? I did not want anyone to witness the fool I would most likely make of myself in front of this new addition to Olympus.

"Leave us." I said, sharper than I had intended. I was not able to hide my wince before he noticed it. I could not tell if he was annoyed or amused at me. It seemed it might be a bit of both.

"Perhaps we could..." I paused as his face became a complete blank, and it pinched my heart to see him react so just at the mere sound of my voice.

"You feel guilt for being rude to your servant?" I did not know if it was a question or a statement. But there was an emphasis in his words that I could not miss. Regardless, I was glad that he said something I could go along with. Because I had no idea what to say except ask him desperately, why do you dislike me so?

"She has been kind to me." I replied, while smacking myself inside my head for saying the most daft thing I could have. Queen Hera would have subtly showcased her courteousness, no matter how false. Queen Persephone would have smiled warmly, which would have been true. Queen Amphitrite would have looked at one as if to say, don't bother me with your foolishness.

"I see," was all he said as he turned his face away from me. Obviously, he was about to leave. But I would not let him leave me just like that. Not that I finally had a chance to have him to myself.

All I had to do was not talk about our impending wedding. It would of course come to pass. Hopefully, sooner than later. But he did not have to know that just yet.

I may not be cunning, but I was no fool. Hephaestus had just promised to bring back the King's former wife.

Metis had been another daughter of the waters. I may not know too much about Athena. But I knew quite a bit about Metis. Perhaps more than even Athena knew about her own mother. And we sea sisters did not betray each other's secrets. At least most of us did not. It was most definitely a fortuitous circumstance for me to know so much about Metis, seeing that my soon to be husband was involved in the matter now.

"You see what?" I asked eagerly, not even trying to hide the fact how much I wished to speak to him. Or how much I just wanted him to stay here, with me. He looked at me, his eyes blue and cold as ice. His face just as impassive. To anyone else his scars would have made him just as intimidating. But to me he was an enigma I could not wait to unravel. At the same time it hurt so to be reviled for no valid reason. 

"You seem to be one who reciprocates as you receive." Was that a compliment? It was difficult to tell with the way he voice had sounded. But I would take it as such anyways. As father Poseidon always said, it was always a better idea to look for the good things. 

"Not always." I admitted honestly. I most definitely was not reciprocating the other gods' and goddesses' love and lust for me. He only nodded his head, as if in agreement. "It is better to be cautious than regret it later on."

"I am not a very cautious to be truthful. I simply find it difficult to get along with those who do not share my ideals," those who mockedme for my beliefs I thought quietly. Even though I had been mostly honest with my future husband, I still felt guilty for not being entirely truthful.

"Goddess, are you saying that you disdain values and thoughts that do not align with yours?" His tone had a judgmental element to it, though somehow I knew he didn't mean it.  It was as if he was purposely try to anger me. 

"No, no that is not what I meant Hephaestus." I had not realized that I had called him by his name. A name I had already been treasuring in my mind and heart. And yet I felt as if I was not allowed or good enough to call him by his given name. Everything about him gave off a feeling of someone who was unreachable and untouchable.

His deep blue eyes which contrasted so beautifully with his bronze skin stared at me in a manner that made me feel as if he could see through my soul. As if could easily dismantle this earthly flesh of mine and sea everything within.

“I was only teasing young goddess,” he said, and somehow that did not feel like a lie. Though I was glad for him having deflected the subject. Even if had been dishonest, it had been out of kindness. Or at least I wanted desperately believe so.

“Pardon me for assuming my god, but you do not seem one to participate in humour.” I daringly stated, hoping against hope that he would open up to me. I moved further into my domain before he could answer, wishing he would follow me. My heart gave a pleasant lurch as he fell in step with me, as I lead us into my sitting room. Yet at the same time my heart also thumped with pain having seen him limp into the room.

I so desperately wanted him to be the own to tell me what had caused him his injury. But I knew it was too soon. 

“I would not say that I particularly disdain humour Aphrodite. I am sure I just have a different sense of wit than most of Olympians.” It seemed as if he knew that my thoughts had turned to his injury and he had deftly distracted me from it. 

“You are now are a part of this beautiful Olympus too my...” I trailed off as the ice reformed in his eyes, his face colder than ever. I could not pretend to not understand why my words perhaps had been unfortunate. It was obvious to all that being a member of Olympus was going to be brutally challenging for my fated.

But if I had my way I would stay beside him through it all. I wish I could tell him that, but I was aware the sentiment would not be well received. Not just yet, at the very least. I was still mostly happy despite his coldness, because there he was, seated exactly where he belonged. Right in front of my eyes.

“Was Saagar not beautiful enough daughter of the sea?” If it were anyone else I would have assumed insult and been offended. Angered that anyone would dare question my loyalty to the Kingdom of the Sea, also known as the Great Grey or Saagar. Yet despite his voice being dispassionate, his intent did not seem as if he wanted to jibe at me like the others. It was almost as if he was, curious. The thought of it made me feel warm. 

Most thought that I climbed up this mountain for the same reason as most of Zeus’s children. The chance for glory and recognition. It was safer if all the Olympians and minor deities believed that. If anyone knew the real reason it would make me look weaker than I already was thought to be.

There is no place for foolish sentiment in our world daughter of sea, Athena had warned me when I had first arrived. Yet I knew that I wanted complete honesty in the most important of all bonds to me. Hephaestus clearly not ready to be entirely forthcoming with me. But could I not encourage him by taking the first step?

“I wished to see my father. The god my mother so dearly loved.” I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice, but it was not entirely possible because he obviously noticed it. It was truly ironic how it was my slight disdain of the King that softened my god.

Males. Everyone claimed that females were irrationally combative with each other. But in some ways we were nothing compared to the posturing males did with each other.

His next words surprised me because I truly was not expecting it. Both because of his general apathy and his uninterest in me. “Who do you resent more young goddess? Your father or your mother.”

“Most males will do what they are known for. I do not blame a female for loving the wrong male. But my mother knew that the king was not meant for her. I do not understand her unrequited love for him.” I loved my mother but I could not empathize with her. Not only had she chosen the wrong god knowingly, she still chose to keep loving him.

“Do you think unrequited love is not genuine love Aphrodite?” It seemed like a trap question. For a moment I tried to think of a response that would impress the one who was rumoured to be the most intelligent in Olympus. Until I remembered my vow to myself to be always honest with him.

“I believe that true love is mutual. But an unrequited love is nothing but an infatuation. Such tragedy is neither beautiful nor love” I said with complete confidence.

“I admire your conviction young goddess, no matter how idealistic. However, some of the greatest love stories have known that exact tragedy. One just has to look at Gaea and her legacy in love.” He was not even looking at me as those words left him. It was for that very reason I chose to let go of the hurt his words had caused me. Though I did not where that hurt came from. 

                                                                                                x

At that time I had been hurt at his response, taking it to be a slight against the beauty of love. But now I knew that at that moment he had been talking about himself. And oh how right he had been. Hephaestus had taught me exactly how true love could be unrequited. One just had to look at us.