Helena walks into my room, carrying three garment bags. “Madame De Vries prepared dresses for all four days of the funeral.”

“Four?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

“I agree, it’s a lot,” Helena says. “There’s the funeral, the greeting ceremony, the day of descension, and the final farewell.”

“So today is the greeting ceremony?” I venture.

Besides the funeral, I don’t know what any of these days are. They’re all named vaguely enough that they really could be anything, and I’d be none the wiser.

“Yes. The reception is at six and then the ceremony will be at eight.”

“Are there any other social faux pas I should try to remember before I embarrass myself again?”

Helena huffs a laugh and zips me into my dress. “There won’t be any food this time around, so you should be in the clear.”

I laugh with her and then take in my appearance when she turns me towards the mirror. This evening, Madame De Vries has made me a floor length black silk gown with a cowl neck.

“Isn’t bare shoulders a little scandalous for a funeral?” I ask.

Helena appraises me and then leaves for the closet, returning with a long shawl that she drapes across my shoulders and arms.

“Better,” she says with a nod.

***

The reception room is a large ballroom, smaller than the one Evren and I celebrated our anniversary in. Despite that, it feels like there are just as many people, if not more, milling about. The same black flowers from the funeral are strung across the walls and hanging from the chandeliers.

After the fanfare surrounding my announcement, I’m left standing alone. Even Leela and Helena are nowhere to be found. A servant walks by carrying a platter of drinks and I grab one, desperate for something to do with my hands.

I take as long a drink as I can get away with. It’s probably not a good look for a queen to be chugging champagne at her husband’s funeral. The drink is so smooth it goes down my throat like water, and though it’s the type of champagne I would have killed to drink once upon a time, now all I want is the burn of something cheap.

“Your Majesty,” a familiar voice greets. I turn to find Prince Griffin standing with his arm out. “How are you holding up tonight? You were quite upset yesterday.”

I loop my arm through his, a relief so visceral flooding through me that I can’t even find it in myself to be embarrassed.

“I’m feeling much better. Yesterday just felt like I was getting everything off my chest, you know?”

“I do,” he says, leading me through the crowd. “My brother’s absence is acutely felt.”

Another servant walks by and Griffin hands them my empty champagne flute. He grabs two more and pushes one into my hand.

“Have you made your rounds across the room yet?” he asks.

“I haven’t.”

“Then let me accompany you. I can help acquaint you with all of the members of the foreign courts.”

“That would be so helpful,” I say, completely meaning it. There are so many important people weaving in and out of the crowd that I don’t know where to start.

“Prince Griffin, can I ask you a question?” I ask as we begin our circuit.

“You just did,” he says. It’s the cheesiest joke in the book, and I can’t help but smile.

“Do you know Lady Nisa of Dar?”

Griffin glances at me. “Did you have a run in with her?”

I shake my head. “No. I’ve never met her. I don’t even know what she looks like.”

Griffin hums. “I’ll be sure to introduce you to her, then.”

“Do you think she’d be upset?” I venture, thinking of what Madame De Vries said. Would Lady Nisa really make a scene at Evren’s funeral just because he didn’t marry her daughter?

“With how long my brother lasted? I’d say she’s probably relieved,” Griffin says with a wry smile.

“Right,” I mutter.

Griffin walks me around the room, introducing me to royals and nobles who heap on their condolences thick and heavy. One woman even bursts into tears and crushes me to her chest the moment she sees me and doesn’t let go until my shoulder is soaked.

“Lady Amaranth has always been a crier,” Griffin says, after I finally manage to disentangle myself from her. “The day I was leaving the court for my tour, she wept for a solid three hours.”

“She must be a close friend then,” I say.

“Hardly.” He rolls his eyes, but he’s wearing a good-natured smile. “She was good friends with my grandmother. She visited often when we were children and took to calling us her grandchildren as well.

“But there are plenty of people here with memories of Evren and I. Do you see that woman there?” He points to a woman with her back turned to us. Her thick hair is so dark and sleek it glistens like water. “She was one of Evren’s greatest allies. If you were feeling generous, you might even call them friends.”

Griffin leads us over to her. “Your Majesty, may I introduce you to the Lady Maura?”

Lady Maura turns around and it takes every muscle in my body not to react. Half of her face is covered in burn scars from forehead to chin. Her beauty is undeniable, though. She carries herself with an elegance that can’t be learned, and is dressed impeccably.

“Prince Griffin,” she says, holding her hand out.

He presses a kiss to her hand. She doesn’t try to hide the way she wipes her hand on a handkerchief before she drops it back down to her side.

“Your Majesty.” She leans in and presses kisses first to my left cheek, then to my right.

“Lady Maura, we’re honored to have you. It’s awful that it’s under such bad circumstances, though.”

“Yes, a real shame,” she says, with no zeal.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” I say, taking her hand in both of mine. “I know that the Emperor was a close friend of yours. It must be so awful to lose someone like that.”

Lady Maura snatches her hand back. “Your loss is greater than mine.”

A pang of guilt shoots through my chest again. All of these people are thinking of me, putting me first, when they’re the ones who’ve actually suffered a loss. Griffin lost a brother, Lady Amaranth a grandchild, Lady Maura a friend. I have no need for all of this kindness, when clearly it’s everyone else who needs it.

“Thank you so much for coming, Lady Maura. I’m sure the Emperor valued your relationship dearly.” Making friends in the tangle of court life feels next to impossible. Though our friendships have been very short-lived, I can’t handle the thought of losing Griffin, Helena, or Leela.

“I’m sure he did,” Lady Maura says.