I guess spending a lifetime using it made me come to rely on it. to accept it as a part of me. I guess that was nice, to know I accepted what I was and was proud of it. even if I still held regrets for my past failures. But the thought of not having my magic couldn’t be too bad. I would get used to life without it if I never could use it again. After all, I was Deacon Frow. I was able to get used to living in caves and trees, nothing could stop me if I put effort behind it. though, I guess now I was Rook Talark. Funny how I would need to get used to going by a new name. it wasn’t even one of the aliases I came up with in my past life. Well, I guess I never did try to hide who I was much now did I. I thought remembering the scant few times I had used a false name. my train of thought though was broken as Bartak came to a stop before a set of heavy wooden doors. He pushed them open with ease and presented me with a massive study. The far wall lined with windows that reached high up towards the ceiling a good 6 meters up. The walls to the left and right were run with bookshelves that reached to the ceiling latter’s obvious in place to make finding a book easier.

Well not easier but accessible. There was even a second floor run out along the windows and across the right wall making a terrace or lounge that reached out some. The room was mesmerizing. I was a Mage after all, knowledge was power as they always said. Bartak chucked as he glanced over his shoulder at me. I winced at that realizing I had gone slack jawed at the sight. The fact he found it funny didn’t hide the sadness in his eyes though. “You had the same look the first time you saw this place.” He whispered. I wanted to kick myself in the face for losing control like that. I went and hurt the man again. I followed Bartak into the study though as he led me to a large wooden desk off to the left of the room. I missed the thing completely because of how shocked I was at the sight of the room. I guess I had forgotten how to control myself in the time I spent dead. I would need to work on schooling my emotions and facial features again. I should have had that mastered seeing as I was a Mage, I had to hide many things in my past life to keep from letting people from learning about me.

It didn’t matter now though, seeing as my responses held sale my fabled lost memories. it was cruel to Bartak but I didn’t think I had a choice. You always have a choice you fool. It just depends on whether you can stomach the one you make. I chided myself, checking the thought knowing now was not the time for such things. I looked back as Bartak reached into the wooden desk drawing forth a leather-bound tome. Slowly he brushed a hand down the face of the tome. He looked like he wanted to throw it away, like he couldn’t bring himself to give it to me. He relented though as I watched his emotions war across his face. “This is a record you started when the High Lord appointed you as Lord of Cal’sar.” He spoke softly as he pulled forth a seat for me to take behind the desk. I admit I rushed towards the tome. What was I to do, I wanted answers and if this little book could help me, I would take it? Seeing as it was written by my bodies previous owner was all the better. I could learn who I was from his own words.

Though I did worry about the concern Bartak showed as he let me take the tome. I didn’t know what was in it, but I need the answers within. So, with a scrape of wood on stone I sat behind the desk and prepared to open to book. But hesitated for a moment.

That wasn’t smart, seeing as I feel Bartak tense at my hesitation. I took a breath and turned up to the giant man. He towered behind me, both intimidating and reassuring in an odd way. It felt like he would stay by my side no matter what. Truly the epitome of loyalty. But that wasn’t aimed at me, it was aimed at my body’s previous owner. I couldn’t let this man hover no matter how well intended he was. “Can I read this alone?” I asked, doing my best not to sound desperate. I must have failed seeing as Bartak opened his mouth to argue only to bite back his words with a pained click of his teeth. He gave a curt nod and moved towards the door. I winced at that. I truly was being cruel to the man. I can’t let this go on. I thought as I resolved myself for what I was about to say. “Bartak.” The man froze at the door. “Once I am done with this, can you tell me more about Rook... about me?” I wanted to smash my face into the desk for saying that. it was cruel to make this man recount tells of the boy I now possessed but he didn’t know I wasn’t Rook. To him I was just his poor master who had lost his memories. I would need to keep from remarking about myself in the third person seeing as now I was Rook.

It wouldn’t be easy, but I could do it. at least I hoped I could. Slowly, Bartak turned back to me his eyes which should have been fierce and powerful stared back, somber and lost before he nodded. “I will my Lord. I will tell you anything you want if it will help you remember.” The man gave a bow, as he closed the doors to the study leaving me alone with my thoughts and this tome. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding as I fell back over the chair. I had a lot of work a head of me, that was for sure.