Weeks went on, and I found myself going back to Ava and her friends everyday after school. Turns out they are quite intriguing. Both of Ava and Malcolm’s parents work for a well-known car brand, which led them to be really good friends - which later led Ava’s mother to be more than friendly with Malcolm’s mother. Now, both couples are divorced and Ava lives with her mother and her mother’s girlfriend - Malcolm’s mother. Him on the other hand decided to live with his father. He says it’s because he’s not okay with his mother’s choice but I don’t think it’s the entire truth. When I look at him and Ava, I can clearly see that he likes her. Living with her would create this sense of family and no one wants to date someone that is supposed to be your sister in law. So he kept his distance, which was a really smart choice.

Gabriel and Jonah have been friends since they were kindergarteners. Both their families are well off, with Gabriel’s family having the third biggest fortune of the country - way a head of both mine and Liam’s family. Jonah’s money comes from his father’s side of the family, which he had to give his mother a huge sum after she filed for divorce and took him to court for abuse. She won the suit and his father is currently serving a 5-year sentence. It doesn’t seem to bother him - he absolutely despises his father. He doesn’t talk about him often, but when he does you can feel the hatred he has for this man. I sometimes wonder if he also was abused by him. When he talks about his jail sentence there’s fear in his voice - he doesn’t want him to get out.

The four of them met in highschool. They are considered to be the “delinquents” of their school. 

I also started smoking during breaks. Hopefully the school has a smoking area that only a few people use. At first I smoked alone, until the newly elected senior president came to join - Liam. He tried it once and kept on coming for more everyday, consuming my cigarettes. After a few days I told him to go f*ck himself and he bought a pack for himself. I don’t understand why he started. It tastes like crap, he’d said after his first cigarette, and yet there he is, joining me at the smoking area.

“Hey,” he says, “I think I forgot my lighter. Lend me yours.” I hand him mine in silence. Around us, everyone is looking.

The biggest school mystery is how Liam and I know each other. We usually say that we don’t, that we met randomly on the first day, but I don’t think they believe us. I heard there is a group of girls - Liam’s fangirls - trying to find out the truth. I am not bothered by it, it won’t change anything about my reputation - it will only tarnish Liam’s.

“Right on time,” I say, gesturing to the group of girls coming to sit on the bench just in front of us, far enough so we can’t hear them.

“This is ridiculous,” he answers, exhaling a cloud of white smoke, “I am sure they are sitting there because they simply like to.”

“Or,” I continue, “they are here to understand why Mr. President is smoking with the school delinquent?” He shrugs. “You can stop the I-am-trying-to-be-a-bad-boy act. Quit smoking. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Bad boy act? Come on, you make it sound like I’m part of a boys’ band.” He looks at the rolled thing between his fingers. “And it isn’t that bad.”

“Fine, then go smoke somewhere else.”

“I thought you would like the company.”

Huh? Smoke gets stuck in my lungs and I cough. “Me? Needing company?” I say, calming my coughing. He grins and answers “alright, then maybe I would like some company.”

“Aren’t you friends with the whole school already?”

“Maybe, but can’t I spend some time with my dear childhood friend?,” he asks with fake puppy eyes. I simply answer with my middle finger.

Why does he have to be so clingy? It’s not like I need him to protect me. I bet he thinks that he has to since he is two years older than me.

He is pathetic, I think, and we finish our cigarette in silence.

****

I am chatting with Pen in the women’s room - her 7-year-old son just got his first girlfriend and was wondering if he could hold her hand during recess. He “seduced” her by giving her little notes with poems he wrote himself - which are filled with errors - and with flowers he cut from their garden.

But my discussion is cut short by Liam, telling me that my father is in the office and wants to see me - alone.

This doesn’t sound good.

I leave Pen with Liam and head to the office to find my father, sat at his desk. “Sit,” he orders. The chair has been placed right in front of him. As I sit, I feel like the ceiling is pushing down on me.

“Caleb, is there anything you would like to confess?”

I frown, this is really bad. “No, I don’t think so,” I answer, quietly.

“You don’t think so?,” he says, raising his brows, “what is it then? You maybe have something to confess?” I stay silent, looking down at his desk. My mind is rushing through everything I know, trying to quickly figure out what he could be thinking about. “Answer me!,” he shouts, and I startle. “I don’t know father,” I mumble.

He scoffs, “then what the f*ck is this, son?” He turns around his laptop to make him face the screen. My breath stops and I get nauseous.

It’s a video of Colby and I f*cking in Room 4.

“Turning the room cameras off to save electricity? What a good f*cking lie Caleb. Looks like you forgot to do that last week. I had to watch you f*ck Colby for breakfast this morning.” He pauses, looking me dead in the eyes. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Kill me now. Bury me in a ditch somewhere, I want to disappear.

“I’m sorry,” is all I can say back.

“For f*ck sake Caleb. Listen to me, I didn’t raise a faggot. Hell, I didn’t even want to raise you at all.” I gulp. I know, I think, I know I’m nothing but a burden and a disappointment to you. But damn, this hurts.

“I don’t give a sh*t about what you do with your body. You disgust me, my sister would be so ashamed. For her memory and my sake, don’t let anyone find out about this. Understood?”

I nod, looking away.

“Now get out of my sight, you and Colby will have to find another place to f*ck.” I quickly stand up and leave the room.

I practically run outside, get behind the building and squat down against the wall.

This is a nightmare.

No one can know. I need to call Colby and tell him what happened so we can find somewhere else to meet. Besides, I know my dad won’t tell anyone - he is too ashamed of it. If we stay out of his sight, it should be fine. I mean he is the only one who knows-

Liam. I was sure I’d turned off the cameras and Liam has been against this relationship since he learned about it. He would tell me how wrong he thinks it is during our smoking breaks. I’m sure he turned the cameras back on so my father would see us and end our relationship. That must be it. It’s his fault.

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

I get back inside and rush into the women’s room, ignoring the loud music and people calling my name. In the room, everyone left to join their clients - only Liam remains. I push him with all my strength, making him fall on his ass. I get on top of him and grab him by the collar.

“You turned on the cameras, didn’t you?,” I shout in his face. He freezes, frowning.

“What the f*ck are you talking about?”

“You turned the cameras back on so my dad would see Colby and I, you f*cking pr*ck. Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself you sneaky as*hole?”

His eyes widen as if he was shocked. “F*ck Caleb, that sucks but I didn’t touch the cameras.”

Liar, I think. “Don’t lie, just f*cking say it,” I shout.

He sits back up, pushing me to fall on my ass. He is now the one holding me by the collar. “I said, I didn’t touch the cameras, idiot. You must have forgotten.”

“I didn’t,” I answer bluntly. “I didn’t forget you pr*ck. It must have been you.”

“Why? Why would I do that?”

“Because you hate what Colby and I have. You want me to stop seeing him and since I don’t listen to you, you sabotaged us.”

“Caleb, I didn’t-”

“Well guess what,” I keep going, “you’re out of luck - my dad doesn’t give a damn about who I f*ck. He just doesn’t want anyone to know because he is ashamed of it. Bold of you to assume that he would care.”

His grip loosens and his shoulders and face relax. “Caleb, I am sorry. No matter how much I hate Colby, I never would've done that to you. I promise - I'm not lying to you.” He lets go of my shirt, “I am sorry your dad is such an as*hole, Caleb.”

My chest sinks. Why is he looking at me with those eyes - pitying me. A mix of rage and sadness builds up in my stomach and my eyes start to burn. 

“Shut up. I don’t need your pity.” I push him away. My legs are still over his and we are both sitting in front of each other.

“I’m not pitying you, Caleb. I would never look down on you,” he takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry your father found out. You should discuss what to do with Colby.”

I quickly stand up and get away from him. 

I need to talk to Colby -  I need to hear his voice.

****

I'm in Colby’s car, in the back seat.

I tie a knot to the condom and throw it out the window. We are in the middle of the woods so no one will find it.

“For f*ck sake Caleb, this sucks,” Colby says while putting his pants back on. “There's barely any space in here and my back hurts. You had one job - turn off the cameras. You’re f*cking useless.”

His words hit me like a rock.

“I know,” I mumble, “I’m so sorry.” He sighs and cups my face with his hands. “Don’t screw this up again, alright?” I nod. “Good, let’s keep seeing each other here on weekends. My weeks are pretty busy. We will find somewhere else to meet later.”

I thought that, since we are not meeting at the brothel anymore, we could meet more often. I guess that’s not what he had in mind.

I’ve been questioning his feelings for a few weeks now. He doesn’t look at me the way he used to a few months ago. I guess that’s it, the honeymoon phase has ended and we entered a routine. But I'm fine with it - a routine with him is all I need.

He drops me off in front of my house. As I bend over to his seat to give him a kiss, he shoves me against the door. “Not here. Just get out.” I nod as I get out of the car.

I understand, my house is right there. That was foolish of me.

As I get closer to the entrance door of my house, I see someone sitting on the stairs in front of it.

“Damn, you took a while, I was freezing out here,” Liam says, putting out his cigarette. He watches Colby’s car leave, his face unreadable. “How did it go?”

“What are you doing here?,” I say as I search for my keys in my pocket.

“I looked through the camera footage of that night.” My breathing stops for a moment. 

“You did what?”

“No, I didn’t watch the Room 4 footage,” he says, his cheeks getting red, “I just wanted to see if someone had turned on the cameras in the office. No one did, you just went straight to meet Colby after we closed.”

“Great, so you just wanted evidence to prove that I was a f*cking idiot,” I say, walking past him to the door.

“No, I just wanted to know. Maybe someone had come in and gone into the office. I had to look it up for security reasons, Caleb.”

I put the keys in the lock, “you could’ve texted that. Now go home.”

“Yes, I could have, I just- I just wanted to know if you were ok.”

As I open the door the warmth of the room envelops me.

Also does its stillness and silence. This mansion is huge, and no matter how many maids we have, you could go a whole day without seeing anyone here.

I turn around to face him. “I’m tired Liam, just go home, you coming here was useless.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he says nodding, “I’ll get going. See you tomorrow.”

I don’t answer and close the door. What an idiot, I think, what’s his deal?

****

“You still haven’t used it?,” I ask, right after lighting my cigarette. This little sh*tty back alley doesn’t get a drop of sun. My cigarette better keep me warm. “It’s been two months.”

“No,” Ava answers, “we are kind of waiting for one of us to have the house. We don’t want to do it outside in the cold. Besides, that wouldn’t be safe.”

“You know drugs expire, right?” They all look back at me with wide eyes.

“You’re kidding?,” shouts Gabe, “we need to find a solution soon. F*ck, let’s just do it in the woods.”

“Knowing you, you’ll hurt yourself tripping on some damn branches,” retorts Malcolm. “We need a safe place.”

I agree with him. Besides, four rich kids getting injured because of drugs that my family sold to them would cause trouble. 

I sigh. “You can come to my place if you want.”

My house is huge, we can find a room to do that without anyone noticing. I just have to ask Liam to cover for me at the brothel.

“Do drugs in your huge a*s mansion? Heck yeah,” enthusiastically says Ava. “When?”

“Are you guys free tonight?” The brothel isn’t really busy on Thursdays, so it should be fine. “Let me text someone, I need him to cover for me at work.” Ava and Gabe clap high-five in excitement. 

Caleb

“Hey, cover for me tonight. I’ll have friends over.”

D*ckhead

“Friends? You have those?”

Caleb

“Shut up and just cover for me.”

D*ckhead

“You’ll owe me :D”

Caleb

“Whatever.”

“Alright, tonight is good for me. Come to my house at 11pm.”

“What about the drugs, do you really think they expired?,” asks Jonah with a worried look.

“I don’t think so. Worst case scenario they’re just weaker. But I saw what you bought and it’s some strong sh*t.” Jonah’s face lights up.

To be honest, I have never really tried drugs. I have smoked pot and snorted a tiny line of cocaine once, but that’s it. Weed made me sick and I didn’t feel the euphoria cocaine is supposed to give - I just waited for something to happen. I was very disappointed. My brothers were all hyperactive while I was just sitting, waiting for the night to be over.

Liam was there that night too. He had taken the same amount as my brothers and they were all three talking about things that really didn’t make any sense. All of a sudden they wanted to build a space cake industry disguised as a simple bakery. They were already choosing the colors of the floors and walls when the effect went down and they all fell asleep. I won’t try cocaine again tonight, I’ll only do ecstasy if they have a spare pill. Hopefully, James only gave them pills, so it won’t be as strong as the real thing - although the ones we sell are pretty concentrated. But we will be at my house, so it should be fine. I just have to make sure that none of them drinks beforehand - I don’t want anyone vomiting on the floor.

****