I convinced myself I wasn’t breathing as Mathias took the few steps to close the distance. I struggled to get any air into, or out of my lungs, until he was standing in front of me, looking down at me. He crouched down to my eye level and just…stared at me. Unblinking, unmoving. It was uncomfortable, the amount of eye contact. He tilted his head as if in thought; finally, I felt air hit my lungs. “Yves,” he said at long last, voice low. He kept my attention in that long pause. “Anything you want—within reason—if you give him an answer.”

I glanced over to Henri still by the door. He gave me a little wave to go with his vicious smile. I looked back to Mathias, a softer smile now on his face. I wanted to answer, partly because Mathias scared me, and partly because I wanted to ask him what happened for him to be so infatuated with me for eleven years. But as I opened my mouth to speak, the words got caught in my throat. I tried over and over to force at least something out, yet it never came.

His smile fell, he dropped his voice even lower. “You’ve yet to see me truly mad,” was all he said.

That had to be a lie, right? When he held me over the sink and forced me to eat soap—violated me in the motel room, broke my ankle, that wasn’t him mad? There was more to his fury? I took in a shaky breath, determined not to let his threat rattle any more tears out of me. I could say four simple words. Four simple words to keep me from whatever hidden anger he still had in him. I opened my mouth once again, forced out a single sound, all that I could get out. “«I…»” They waited with bated breath for more. I closed my eyes. “«No…»” I managed.

Henri let out a large, dramatic groan. “«Onufrin Surnin? »” He asked. I shook my head, my throat tightening up. “«What do you know? »” I shook my head again, hoping it got across that I knew nothing. He tsked, metal hitting his teeth. He pulled a smartphone from his jeans pocket, walked closer to me. He pointed his phone at me, then started typing furiously. “«Okay. Matias, Yves is now my hostage. »”

Mathias stood back to his full height. “«What?” He blinked. “«Your hostage? »”

“«Yeah, »” he nodded. “«I need him to attract Jean-Claude or Onufrin. »”

“«But…I…»” He was at a loss for words. This wasn’t going how he had planned it out in his head. He paused, gathered himself. “«I want him. I can’t have him? »” He said simply.

“«Wha—No. I need him. »”

“«But he listens to me, »” Mathias argued.

Henri looked up at him, arms crossed. “«Okay. And? »”

“«You’re five foot five,” he noted. “«Yves is five foot seven. And he can’t walk. »” Henri made a motion for Mathias to get to the point. “«You need me. »”

He let out a laugh. “«Matias, Matias, Matias. I think I can handle him. »” He placed his hand on my shoulder to show off his confidence. Before my mind could register what happened, I had screamed “«No! »” and pushed myself back in the chair I was tied to. Henri flinched in shock; Mathias let out his own laugh.

I don’t know why I was so adverse to Henri touching me with Mathias in the room. Maybe it was because Henri was new. I didn’t know what he was fully capable of, didn’t know how he could hurt me when he got mad. With Mathias, at the very least, I was starting to understand the rules. It was safer for my life with him. Even if he had some weird, twisted, crush on me. I looked to him, pleading with him to do something to keep me from Henri.

He quieted down his laughter. “«Do you still think you can handle him? He hasn’t bitten yet, but he fights back. He’s like an animal. No quick movements, gentle. »” He reached his hand out slowly towards me. Gently, his finger touched the side of my face. I flinched at the contact, but I didn’t pull back. I fought to keep myself from pulling back. He was making a big show of it, and I was determined to follow along. He was the safer bet. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. Removed his finger from my face as slowly and gently as he had touched me. “«See? He trusts me. »”

“«I see, »” he nodded. He started to reach his hand out to me, the same way Mathias had. “Bite him,” Mathias whispered to me, then held up two fingers by his side. Two things you want if you bite him, he seemed to say. Henri’s hand was getting closer to me. He was aiming for my shoulder. I had only a few seconds to decide if I was going to bite the little Russian firecracker. His fingers were close enough now. Without a second thought, I sunk my teeth into his fingers, biting down hard enough to try and tear them off. He let out a “«Shit! »” and brought his hand back. Then, his fist connected with my face. The world tilted. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the fall as pain bloomed on my cheek.

Mathias was laughing hysterically. “Cry,” he managed through his laughing. He didn’t have to tell me. The pain from Henri hitting the bruise Mathias put on me was enough to make my eyes water. My head hitting the concrete on the other side when I fell, was enough to bring me over the edge. I saw him rub his face through my tears, saw it shift to concern. He squatted down, resting his hand on my bruised cheek. “I know,” he said. He stood back up, and I watched them from the floor. “«I want him, »” he repeated.

“«I need him, »” Henri stressed. “«You’re not going to let us leave, are you? »”

“«I’m not, »” he answered.

Henri let out another groan, shifting his focus to the ceiling. “«Fine, I need him. Come with me. »”

“«Fine with me. »” He walked around the chair, untied me. I picked myself up to a sitting position, wiping at my eyes. He squatted in front of me again. “Lay it on thick,” he said to me. I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that, but I tried my best. I cried harder, and he wrapped me in a hug. My breath caught. That was too much too soon. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to accomplish at this point. He got what it seemed he wanted. He had me, or at least still had me in his immediate custody. I grabbed the front of his jacket, keeping myself from pushing him away as he rubbed my back. “I know. «I know. »” He his hands travelled down my back. “Up we go,” he said as he picked me up.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, scared he was going to drop me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as an extra measure. He started walking, following Henri out the door. Luis was leaning against the wall next to the door with his head tilted to the floor. He looked to Mathias as he walked out, carrying me.

“«Matias, »” he said a little confused. “«What—»”

“I’m going with Henri,” he answered his unspoken question. “I don’t trust him not to hurt Yves.”

Luis sighed. “I don’t understand this,” he said, moving his hovering hand over Mathias, “but if it makes you happy…Keep it short. Answer my calls. You’ll be paid by tomorrow.”

“Thank you, monsieur Luis,” he said softly.

We started walking again, and before we got too far, Luis called out to him once more. “Don’t kill Henri! I don’t want to deal with the Russians any more than I have to!”

Mathias let out a laugh. “He makes it real hard!”

“«I didn’t drive, »” Henri said with the tone that he didn’t like no one was paying attention to him.

“«I have a car. »” He led Henri to my car. He put me back on my feet and I leaned against the car to keep myself from falling over. I was put in the backseat, and Mathias walked around to the other door. He talked with Henri for a bit before tossing him the car keys and got into the seat next to me.

Henri took his time adjusting the seat, the mirrors. He turned the radio on, messed around with it until he was satisfied. Mathias leaned over to strap me in while Henri typed something into his phone. Then, we were off, driving away from the water, away from the harbor. “Are you tired?” Mathias asked close to my ear. I forced myself to acknowledge that he was sitting in the middle of the backseat. Sitting right next to me. Too close. He tapped his shoulder closest to me. “You can sleep here, if you want.”

I looked at him in the dark. Just stared at him blankly. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to do anything now that he was acting weirdly nice. Nicer than he had been. Before it seemed like it was a mix of because he had to keep another human being alive and because I resembled me—Yves, his crush. It was, now, most definitely because I was Yves. If he was nice to me, maybe I would reciprocate his feelings. He only had to erase how terribly he treated me before. I turned away from him in the dark car, crossed my arms as I gazed out the window. I hope that was a good enough answer for him.

My head bumped against the window, bringing me out of the few second nap I unknowingly took. I was determined not to fall asleep in the backseat of my car. Determined not to let myself use Mathias more than I had to, to survive Henri. I was only tired because of the crying, of the emotionally and mentally draining events that had taken place.

I wanted to know why these people had places secluded in woods, as Henri turned off the highway. Other than them being remote and no one hearing you scream, there wasn’t really anything good about it. Hiding in cities was easier. Too many people. Not enough cared. Maybe it was the mood they wanted to cultivate. Give everyone the fear of being in a horror movie. If the being kidnapped and abused wasn’t enough to scare them, the thought of someone popping out of the woods and stabbing them, ought to.

Henri pulled up outside a small house. Turned the ignition off, got out. I waited for Mathias to walk around and retrieve me. I didn’t like the fact that I had to do that, but it was better than walking in with only Henri. He helped me out of my seat, letting me use the crutch to support some of my weight as I hobbled after Henri. We stood on his porch at a respectable distance while he unlocked his door. In a flash, after he threw open the door, a dog came running out, knocking into me. I fell down, onto my back. It let out a single bark, slobber falling onto my face.

“—"Alkonost, no,”—” Henri said and snapped his fingers as he walked in. The dog followed him in.

Mathias helped me back to my feet in my shocked state. “«The bathroom? »” He asked. Henri pointed down the hall as he got his dog under control. And so we went, for our awkward bathroom ritual.