CHAPTER 8

KILLER

“I killed her because…” He began. “She was with the Bai Ze when it killed my family. She took the Bai Ze out first as they’re stronger and more dangerous.. then she manipulated my brothers and I. She tried to have us kill our friends. We went to do that but we snapped out if it fortunately. We went back to confront her on it, but as we got there, she was feeding off of my mom and dad. My brothers were scared and they hesitated. So, being the eldest, I stepped forward. She still thought we were under her spell so she acted kind; speaking to me with my own family’s blood on her hands and mouth! I was so outraged that I killed her.”

There was a turbulent rumble of thunder. Lex slid himself down the wall with his hand clutching his mouth. With his other hand, he grasped his shirt tightly, ripping it as his talons popped out. There was a conflict in his mind. His mother or Anouke? His eyes were glowing red like a predator in the dark, but he made no movement to attack. Anouke sat patiently on the couch. He looked ashamed. He dropped his head, white hair falling over his face, just barely covering his eyes.

Lex stayed on the floor, back pressing against the wall and his eyes widened. He dropped his arms to the side, and his nails retracted. “You killed my mother. But it was self defense.” He said and got up. He gave a somber smile. “It’s okay. You protected yourself. And your brothers. I-I’m not angry…”
“Your eyes say otherwise.” He finally looked up. “They’re glowing red.”
“I can’t help that. They won’t go back to normal. But I’m not bothered. I don’t know her name but I know yours.” He said but looked down.

“Can I borrow your room for a second or two?” He asked politely.
“Feel free. You didn’t have to ask either.”
“Thanks.”

He sat in the room, blanketed in a terrifying darkness. The air was heavy, like Lex was hauling the whole world on just his two shoulders. However, it made him feel strong. He took off the black jacket he was wearing and threw it on the floor. It blended into the darkness, unseen, as if it got swallowed by the floor, or as if a criminal undercover. He stood up and looked around. He caught his reflection, only thing he saw were his two eyes, shining as if there were two red suns in the room. “You’re a Demon, Lex.” He told himself. “I’m a Demon, a monster. My mother was a Demon. My father is the Devil. I have Devil blood in me.”

He crouched to the floor in a ball, closing his eyes and covering his head with his hands.
“I failed everyone. I failed Akuma. What if he comes to get me? What if he’s coming now? For me, for Anouke… I got Anouke caught up in all this.”

Lex began to ramble, recalling Akuma’s beatings and threats inside his head.
“How did this happen… and why?” He began to ask himself. “Maybe Akuma was right to hate me. I failed everyone.” He began to cry. Anouke sat outside the door on the floor, listening to his pain. The quiet sniffles, the almost silent sobs. “I… Maybe I deserve it.”

Anouke felt a sudden urge. A dangerous one. He stood up, quicker than a fork of lightning renting the sky. His hand was on the door handle, trembling. It was his last straw. He didn’t want to see or hear Lex suffering. Let alone him thinking that he deserved it. He burst into the room without giving a second longer to think about his actions. As he entered, he failed to see Lex, trusting his ears to give away his position.
So dark. Why aren’t the lights on? He looked around, taking a step closer to where he believed Lex to be.

He saw him as he slowly lifted his head up, coral eyes phosphorescent, illuminating the whole room with a pale, rose-coloured tint. “Lex, please don’t hate yourself. This is Akuma’s fault, nobody else is to blame. You deserve to be loved. To be treated with such care and fondness. There is nobody like you in this world.” Anouke dropped to his knees right in front of him.

He brought him in for a tight hug. Lex didn’t hug him back but kept his hands by his side. Do I deserve to feel loved? After everything I’ve done to everybody… To Anouke, to father. To Anouke’s brothers. Why do I feel this way? Am I even allowed to hug him back? I want to but I don’t think I can. My arms feel numb. Lex sobbed quietly, resting his head on Anouke’s shoulder. This is the most affection I can give him without hating myself more. After everything Anouke has done for me, what have I done for him?

'Nothing' is the answer. Nothing at all.

“Lex?” Anouke tapped his shoulder. He looked up at him. He stretched his arm out, a faint and pale silver glow sparkled at his fingertips. Like little fairies, it floated off towards the light switch and it switched on. As the light spread throughout the whole room, the little lights vanished. That… Anouke used his magic. Lex looked at him with swollen eyes. “Would you look at that, huh? Your eyes are back to normal.” He gave a sad smile. “Well, sort of.” He teased him for his swollen eyes, though neither laughed.

“Oh.” Lex touched his face under his eyes. “Wait, why are you in here?” He looked around, confused.
“You were telling yourself certain things which I strongly disagree with."
“Oh, that stuff. Sorry.” He got up and gave a shallow apologetic bow.

I’m such a burden to Anouke, aren’t I? Yet, he still does so much for me. I don’t know how he feels. Maybe I should keep everything inside and help him out. He may be going through worst things than me. His brother, Raziel, recently died.

“Anouke.” Lex said, and Anouke also stood up, standing pretty close. “How are you feeling?” Lex asked, serious.
“Ah, me. Don’t worry, I’m fin--”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
“No, really. I just kind of feel numb. I feel like I should be more upset or angry but I’m not. I think I’m just relieved and glad that you’re here. That you’re back with me. Right now, I’m more focused on you getting over what seems to be trauma. And I can only think that the culprit is that damned Akuma.”

Lex nodded. “It’s fine, really. We should help each other so I can be less of a burden to you and so you can also feel better quicker.” Lex smiled to him.
“Yeah, okay.” Anouke smiled back.

They left the room; Lex flicked the light off and closed the door with a small sigh. “Hungry?” Anouke asked.
“Sort of. It’s weird. I feel hungry but I also feel like my stomach will burst if I do eat anything.”
“Well, I’d eat while you can. You probably feel like that because your transformation is happening. Let’s check your wings.”

On command, Lex sprouted his wings out of his back and looked simultaneously at them with Anouke. “Huh. It’s faded. Not quite gone. It’s like my body is still fighting for being a Demon, but my mind is trying to let go. Let the past free.”
“Perhaps.” Anouke said and paused. “Don’t worry, Lex. We’ll work this out.”
“I hope you’re right Anouke.”