CHAPTER 9

SECRETS

Lex sat on the couch beside Anouke, mind running with questions. What will happen when he changes? What about Ariuk – or Kurkoren – Akuma, Dayle? Will they be after him even more than they already are? Will he still be able to change into a Bai Ze? And if he can, will there be any changes: In appearance or just personality? When he changed last time – into a Bai Ze - he was more aggressive and murderous, but if he can still change when he’s an Angel, will he be more kind and caring?

Then he thought about what Akuma had said. ‘Bai Ze’s are on humanities side.’ Humans are the cruel ones in this world, not Angels or Demons. They’re worse than Demons. If it’s true that a Bai Ze is a human’s pet, does that mean that he’ll always be cruel and mean as a Bai Ze?

“What’re you thinking about that has you looking so serious, Lex?” Anouke asked with a smirk. “You’re cute when you look so serious,” he teased.
“A-Anouke!” He said, flustered. He covered his slightly pink cheeks with his un-marked hand and looked away embarrassed. “Don’t say such ridiculous things.” He said in a commanding voice.
“My, my. Aren’t we serious, hm?” He said, teasing Lex again. He got up from the couch and stood in front of Lex. Lex felt intimidated but wouldn’t let Anouke know that.

“Why do you keep teasing me?” Why is my heart racing?
“I enjoy it. Your reactions are cute. I love seeing them.” He smiled. He leant forwards, pinning Lex between his arms and his hands grasped the back of the leather couch.
“Though, I am wondering one thing. What has you so flustered, hm?” He questioned.
“Uhm…” Anouke leant closer, and the tips of his hair brushed against Lex’s.
“What’s taking you so long to answer?” He spoke after a beat or so of silence.

He reeled away from Lex and looked at his even more flushed face. “Hm.” He sat back down and crossed his legs, acting as if that situation had never happened. “Well, you said you felt hungry but also said that you felt like your stomach would pop.” He said with a small laugh. “Would you like to try and eat?”
“No, not really.” Lex stated. How can he act so casual?

“What do you want to do?” Anouke asked, pondering as he cupped his chin between his index finger and thumb. “Well, it’s not something I want to do, but rather something I want to ask. Oh, uhm- only if you’re comfortable with it, of course!” He said slightly embarrassed, still flustered from the earlier situation.

“Ah, and what is it that you would like to ask, Lex?”
“W-Well… It only came to mind since you did it earlier. You used your magic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.” He paused and took in a small breath.

“When we had only recently met and had started fighting suddenly, I asked you to use your magic to try and irritate you, but the look on your face seemed horrified.” Before Lex could explain any further, Anouke frowned and began to speak. “Aha, it’s like you’re trying to get me to reveal all of my deep secrets.” He whispered sorrowfully, voice cracking. “Ah, like I said, only if you want to and are comf--”
“I killed somebody with it.”

Lex’s heart began to pound against his chest. So he’s killed somebody else other than my mother? That’s surprising. Just… Who did he kill this time? Or, why did he kill them? What did they do and why? I wonder…

“I can already tell what you’re thinking, hm.” Anouke ushered. “You want to know who, don’t you?” He looked at Lex. “I’ll tell you, I don’t mind.” Lex shifted closer to him in a comforting gesture. He wasn’t sure how to cheer people up since he never really cared about it before and was always fighting, so he didn’t know how to truly care for people. But he tried his best and Anouke seemed to be able to tell and beamed gratefully at him.
Ha, thank you, Lex. “Well, uhm. I know I told you that your mother killed my parents – and she did, that wasn’t – and isn’t – a lie. But… I never told you how I killed her, did I?”

Lex shook his head a little, curious. “I killed her with my magic. It was the first time I’d ever used it since as kids we are told to never use it as it’s dangerous when used the wrong way. That’s also why we’re never taught as kids. If one of us used it the wrong way while practicing, it could be extremely dangerous. So, I carefully taught myself and can now master complex spells and tricky magic.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m veering off track, sorry. So, what happened was…” He sighed. “She must’ve seen in my eyes what I wanted to do and realized we weren’t under her spell anymore. So she tried to fight. But I was outraged, Lex. I could not control myself and let myself loose. Including my magic.” He turned to Lex with a look of terror and horror on his face. “I was cursed with dark magic. I didn’t know since I’d never used it before due to what we’d been told. As she went to grab my neck...”

Anouke thought back to that night, being young and immature.

The Demons hands began to snake around his neck. Anouke’s eyes, although still his own, were nasty. He grabbed her wrists and crushed them with all of his might.
“You killed my mother and father.”

Die, die, die. I hope you die. Suffer. Die in front of me, let me kill you. Let me kill you the same way you executed my parents. As if a wish from the kind moon, the Demon dropped to her knees. Anouke looked down, confused. His hand had gone straight through her chest. Straight through her heart. His fingers wriggled and he could feel the cold, bitter air. His eyes widened as he realized. His hand was sticking out of her back. It had gone completely through her body.

It had shattered many bones, and his knuckles were covered in blood. He reeled in his arm like a fisherman steering a large fish out from the water. He looked at the thick blood dripping from his hand onto the pavement. The Demon fell to the floor with wide but lifeless eyes. But she was smiling.

She smiled, knowing she was going to die. After all, she was free. Free from Akuma and The Angels Antagonism. Anouke looked around and saw his mother and father lying next to each other. Their fingers were weakly intertwined as if they were silently telling each other it would be okay. That they would meet in their next life or up above.

 He crouched down. He held his father’s empty hand, leaving the other one with his mother’s hand. As he grabbed his hand tightly, his father turned to look at him. Anouke was too overwhelmed with emotion and a blizzard of magic swirled around him and he tried to hide his tears. Anouke’s extreme and persistent wishing for the Demon to die had also killed his father. Since he didn’t specify in his mind whom he wanted to die, both he and the Demon were dead. He realized that, if he ever touched anybody after wishing death upon somebody – even if it wasn’t them - then they would die.

“And that’s what happened. That’s who I killed. I killed my own father, Lex.” His voice croaked in pain as he was reminded of the past. I… I never realized how much you’d been through before. As a Demon, I was taught magic because it’s dark. I really was naïve, too busy dwelling on my own past when you’ve been through all of this. And as a kid.

Lex moved even closer than before and hugged him tightly, desperately. “It’s okay.” He replied to his story, voice muffled as he buried his face in his chest. “Is it okay, though? I know everything has changed now, but back then my brothers were scared of me and ran back to our friends and told them about what I’d done. And then those they told explained it to their parents. And before I knew it, word about me being a murderer spread throughout the whole Angel’s community. They called me all sorts of hurtful names, but I suppose I deserved it. A kid who killed two living beings. One of those being his own father.”

“Anouke… Please don’t tell yourself you deserved it.” He rested his chin on his shoulder now, speaking clearly into his ear to make sure he heard what he was saying. “I’m not going to tell you to stop thinking about it or to stop hurting as those things are basically impossible. I’m not going to force you or tell you to get better. It will take a while, but time will heal those internal wounds for you. All I can do for you right now is be here for you. So, please just trust me with it. Don’t keep it all inside, okay? Tell me if you’re hurting.”

“Thank you, Lex.” He hugged him back. “Well, haha,” he laughed nervously, “Since we’re exposing all of my secrets, why don’t you tell me some of your deepest mysteries, hm?”
“Ah, well…” Lex cupped his chin in thought.
“Well, like you said to me before, I won’t force you.” He smiled reassuringly.
“No, I will. I’ll feel bad if I don’t.”
“Hm. Don’t feel bad.”
“No, I’ll tell you – it- it’s okay!” He stuttered in a rush.
“Hmm... Okay, I believe you.”

“Alright, well… Let’s see.” Lex began. “Ah, right. So--” As he began to speak, a wild and uncontrollable gust of vicious wind entered the cabin unannounced. “What the!?” Anouke shouted. They both looked around and Lex rubbed his neck nervously after realizing where it was coming from. It was the window he tried to escape from twice in a row, getting caught effortlessly both times. “Ah, well—that may or may not be my fault. Though, it did hold out for a long time. And we have had some crazy weather too. How fascinating.” Lex said as he observed it.
“It’s just because I put a strengthening spell on it.” Anouke informed him.

The wind had calmed down slightly now. Anouke pointed his elongated fingers towards it. Lex looked and got a little nervous. He was going to use magic. After the story Anouke had told Lex, magic used by Anouke was a little unnerving. But, he trusted him.

He dropped his hand with a thoughtful frown. “I have an idea. How about you fix it with your own magic since you broke it, huh?” He folded his arms, playfully serious as he blithely pouted. “Uhm…” Lex grunted, a little skeptical. “I can try, but I don’t like to use my magic in front of others. It scares them just because of the colour it is. Though, now—I wonder. Maybe it has something to do with the Bai Ze in me?” He started to ramble, asking himself questions aloud, though he didn’t realize, thinking he was asking himself in his mind

“Okay, let’s see. It’s an easy trick to do, but don’t freak out, okay?” Lex tilted his head.
“Mhm!” Anouke nodded profusely, reassuring Lex with a small, thin smile.

He turned around and pointed his protracted fingers, the exact same position as Anouke stood in. In his desire to not mess this simple trick up since Demon magic was dangerous, created for the intent of killing others, he let out a long, careful breath. He flicked his wrist up and closed his eyes.

A dark, chilling mist crept from his fingertips. It was a mix of colours. Black, red, dark blue, orange, etc. Anouke’s eyes widened in realization. He covered his mouth and held in a gasp in order to not disrupt Lex. It’d probably cause him to fear he did something wrong. Better not mention anything yet. I’ll just wait ‘till he’s finished.

 The colours all merged into one and exploded silently. After feeling no cool air blasting against his face, Lex opened his eyes. He let out a breath of relief. The window was fixed, looking extremely clean; good as new.

He turned around to face Anouke with a smile. But that changed when he saw the shock on Anoukes face.

“Huh? Anouke..? W-What’s wrong? Did something bad happen? Or is it my magic? Oh, maybe the colours really are unfortunate.” He scratched his neck, just above the collarbone.
“No, Lex – It’s not that. You see, the colour of you magic is unique and different – probably never seen before for two different reasons I can think of.” He sat down on the couch, his alert heart settling.

“So, the colours were the same as your Bai Ze colours when you transformed into that. But, I also have another theory. So, your magic and Bai Ze have a mixture of many colours. I was thinking that all of those colours signify a different element.  Such as red being fire, the dark blue being water, perhaps? Black being death or wrath or something, and so on – you get the point.” Wrath? There’s an element of wrath… I didn’t know, that’s unexpected. My magic is called ‘Demons Wrath’ but it’s just a name, not the element. Maybe that’s something disliked among Demons and I was just ever told. Or they just didn’t know either. But, then again, as Anouke said before, this is just a theory. We’ll see…

“So, the next part to my theory is that the colours on your Bai Ze reflect the powers you have, also proving why you’re so strong in that form. And again, you had a fire and water wings which was interesting. Hmm, this is strange. We’ll have to try it out sometime.”

That is strange. I hope I can try it out sometime and use it to protect Anouke. Before, I would have been happy to hear that since I loved being powerful and feared. Hah, how the times have changed, hm?

“That certainly is interesting. So, how many powers would I have?” Lex asked, genuinely curious, not bothered about the amount of strength or power that would give him. And not thinking of the target it would make him. This would have to be kept a secret if they wanted to be safe. “Well, we’ll have to see. But, don’t take advantage of that. It never ends well. I know that from experience – the… the one with my father and your mother.” He said in a dull voice.
“Yeah.. got it.”

“Anyways, you were going to tell me a story or something, correct?” Anouke asked, smiling slightly. “Yup, I suppose I was. Well, here I go. Remember Desdemona? From The Angels Antagonism- the hunting month when they came after us?” Anouke nodded so Lex carried on speaking. “I actually used to train her.” He stopped. “That’s all. I have just thought of a deep secret though…” Lex looked at his feet.

“But… I have other things to say first. I’ll tell you that last.”
 “Okay.” Anouke simply said, understanding how he felt. “I won’t push you for it.”
“Well, I can tell you what happened at the Devils place.” Lex shut his mouth, lips a tight, thin line on his face. I’m not calling that beast my father anymore. “After Kurkoren took me there, I was already a little scared to enter, haha…” His voice trailed off like a distant memory echoing in a wide hall.

He explained everything which happened – apart from Kurkoren being Ariuk; the Angel he once got attached too – and Anouke listened attentively, nodding occasionally with pursed lips and narrowed eyes.

 He explained the part when Akuma was so irate that his strength had tore off his arm. Lex frowned then opened his mouth to speak. “Now he knows I’m a Bai Ze because I was able to rejuvenate my arm when he did what he did.”

“That dammed… Ugh, why? Are you sure that the Devil is your father? Because I seriously hate him. And that’s a sinful action… But I can’t help how I feel, it really bothers me and it’s wrong!”
Lex nodded in agreement. “Yeah. He really is my father. And now he says I’m the enemy because of the Bai Ze stuff..! I really despise him.” He took a deep breath.