“Come on, Mars, wake up.” 

Aster’s words dragged me from my restless slumber. As my eyes fluttered open, his freckled cheeks filled my vision. They were red, like he’d been running around outside in the cold. Of course he had. His job was to take care of our horses, after all. 

But as he blinked and jerked back, I could’ve sworn the redness was due to embarrassment more than anything else. 

“Oh, you’re awake. You were so cold, I thought- Never mind.” He flicked locks of auburn hair from his eyes and frowned. “What happened to you?”

Sitting up, I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. Had someone extinguished my bedroom fire? Aster certainly wouldn’t have done it, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if Izzy did it to get back at me for laughing about her ‘college boyfriend.’ Yeah, like college guys were itching to go out with a fifteen-year-old. 

“Mars-” Aster started.

“It’s winter,” I hurried to say. “It’s just cold.” Every fiber of my being wanted to huddle against him and share his warmth, but luckily common sense kept me from completely embarrassing myself. 

He cleared his throat and gestured at the fireplace across the room. Despite my suspicions, it was still going strong.

“It’s a sauna in here.” Aster tugged at the neck of his jacket. “You must be sick.”

I rolled my eyes. It was a silly idea, me being sick. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten more than a sniffle.

No, this was Shade’s doing. Or rather, it was my subconscious’s doing. The brain was a powerful thing, and I’d always been told mine was especially so. It shouldn’t have surprised me that my mind would betray me at some point. 

“It was just a nightmare. I’m fine, really.” As I moved to stand, he hovered beside me like he was planning to catch me if I fell. When we were both on our feet, he had the advantage of height—but just barely. We had the same lanky yet muscular build, the same pale skin that refused to tan in any weather, the same odd heart mutation, and the same lack of curves. 

That last part was undoubtedly something he never thought about, seeing as he would’ve looked pretty funny with an hourglass figure, but I hated seeing full-body pics of us side-by-side. Everyone said we looked like brothers. Not siblings, brothers. 

Going out in public together made me cringe. Aster always chuckled a little when someone asked us “handsome boys” to help them with heavy objects or things on high shelves. I was glad he could find the humor in it, but I never could. Aster probably wouldn’t have either, if he’d been the one with a crush on me. 

“Uh, Mars, the nurse-” 

Nurse Clara, a plump woman sporting a black bun and nurse’s kit, toddled into the room. Waving at Aster to get out of the way, she peered up at me through circular glasses. 

“Sit, sit, girl.” Despite her short stature, she shoved me into a sitting position on the bed. She grabbed a thermometer from her kit and jabbed it at me. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aster leaning against my desk. He glanced down at it, no doubt seeing the sketch I’d been working on before I fell asleep. My stomach twisted. The sketch was pretty rough, since I’d been planning to paint it later, but the two subjects were clear enough—me and Aster, posing selfie style with a heart around our faces. 

“Hey, Ast-” Before I could distract him from the sketch, Nurse Clara stuck the thermometer in my mouth. I gagged and tried to spit it back out, but she held it firm against my tongue, freezing me with her stern glare. 

After a few seconds, she took out the thermometer to look over its readout. Her eyes narrowed. “You have chills?”

Izzy appeared in the doorway, petite as always and sporting a black braid that made her look even younger than she was. Even at fifteen, she had more curves and fashion sense than me. Though, since fashion sense was the only type of sense she had, we were basically even. 

“She was so cold to the touch, we thought she was dead,” Izzy said with a gasp.

“She’s exaggerating.” I shook my head, locking eyes with Aster so he would know not to let the truth slip. If my parents knew I was still having Shade dreams after all this time, they were bound to send me back to therapy—or worse, drug me until the dreams went away. 

I didn’t need any of that. I wasn’t crazy. If I had been, I would’ve thought Shade was real, and I probably would’ve seen or heard him while I was awake. Reoccurring dreams were weird, but they didn’t mean I was crazy. Besides, there wasn’t any medicine that could get rid of dreams without giving me a dozen unpleasant side effects.

Nurse Clara scowled. “You only fainted, then?”

I shook my head. “They just came in at the wrong time. I’d dropped something, so I was on the ground. And I was listening to music, so I didn’t hear them until Izzy ran off to get you.”

“Hmm.” Shaking her head, she collected her first aid kit and shuffled out the door, muttering something to herself. The only word I made out was “poseído.” Possessed. Great to see that rumor hadn’t gone away with time. 

At this point, it was a toss-up as to which maid-started rumor I hated the most. To them, my wild childhood behavior, odd dreams, and androgynous figure were a sure sign of something. No one could quite agree on what, exactly, but the most common ideas were that I was either demon-possessed or a fairy changeling. 

But thinking about it wouldn’t change anything. Even speaking up about them wouldn’t really fix things. The last time I told my parents what the staff had been saying, two maids lost their jobs and the rest learned to whisper quieter. 

“Mars, why’d you just… you know?” Aster’s plaintive look distracted me from my annoyed musings. 

I forced a smile, trying not to look at the sketch on my desk. “It’s a class project. I’ve got to draw things with multiple subjects, and- and add a frame around it—that’s what the heart’s for, to show we’re friends.”

He blinked and looked down at the sketch. “Oh, that’s not what I was talking about. It’s looking really good, though.”

Izzy huffed and plopped her hands on her hips. “He means why’d you lie about passing out? You were out cold, literally.” She tried to stare me down, which didn’t work too well, seeing as she was over a foot shorter than me.

I shrugged. “I’m completely fine.” I had to change the subject before she decided to tell our parents about me fainting. “Hey, why were you in my room in the first place? I told you not to barge in without knocking.”

“I did knock, but you didn’t answer. Good thing I came in anyway, ‘cause it didn’t look like you were waking up anytime soon.” She arched her painted-on eyebrows, looking exactly like a startled doll. With a sideways look at Aster, she added, “Seriously, Mars, you’ve got to tell someone about all this. The fainting and the food stuff.”

Not that again. I barely resisted the urge to groan. She was utterly convinced I had to be bulimic because nobody who ate like me could be this skinny. No amount of arguing could change her mind, so I just rolled my eyes and addressed Aster like she wasn’t even there. 

“So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“There’s something I think you’ll want to-” 

Izzy scoffed. “You can’t seriously still want to take her out there. What if she passes out again and- and gets a stick through the eye?”

Wincing, he glanced between the two of us. “If Mars says she’s fine, I’m sure she’ll be fine.” His gaze rested on me, warm and confident.

If I was being totally honest, I wasn’t quite as confident as I wanted Izzy to believe. That little nap hadn’t been nearly restful enough to make up for two days of not sleeping. Drifting off in the woods might very well mean a stick in the eye if I wasn’t careful. But of course, I wasn’t about to let Izzy know that. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Izzy glared at me before crossing her arms and giving Aster a look I liked to call Mini Boss. She somehow managed to combine Mom’s intimidation and Dad’s charisma into one look, making you want to obey her every word. At least, that was what it did to other people. It’d never had much effect on me. 

“Aster, I’ll spell this out for you since you’re new. Mars is a troubled girl, and she doesn’t always know what’s best for her. So if you have her best interests at heart, you’ll keep her safe at home, won’t you?”

I grabbed a pillow off the bed and hurled it at her head. It impacted with a satisfying whump, followed by a yelp as she jumped back. 

She rounded on me. “I’m just trying to help you. You need help, whether you realize it or not.”

I snorted. “Yeah, right. You just think making me seem crazy means Dad and Mom’ll leave you more in the will.” It was half a joke, half an accusation. I’d caught her drilling our parents on their will a while back, and she’d actually managed to weasel herself a bigger slice of the pie using her puppy dog eyes. 

“Shut up.” She stomped her foot, destroying any illusion of maturity. “Ju- just get out.”

“It’s my room. You get out.”

“Fine.” Huffing, she marched out of the room and slammed the door behind her. 

I wanted to throw my shoe at the door in protest, but that wouldn’t have helped the ‘calm and sane’ image I was going for, so I just rolled my eyes. “And she thinks I’m the crazy one.”

He chuckled. “Does she really think I’m new here?”

I shrugged. “She’s never been one to pay attention to people around her. Except me, obviously. Don’t worry, you’re not missing anything. Maybe in another three years, she’ll realize you’ve been here for a while.”

“Oh, I’m not staying past college. As soon as I graduate, I’m headed to Silicon Valley. There’s a new robotics company I’ve been interested in for a while—Everbotics, have you heard of it?”

I shook my head, and he started talking all about the medical robotics company he was sure to be a part of after college. It hit me that it wouldn’t be too long before he graduated. This was winter break of his junior year. In a year and a half—or less if he took classes this summer—he would move halfway across the country.

He was nice enough that he would try to keep in touch. At first. But eventually, a new job and coworkers and friends would take over his life. Before long, he would probably meet some nice robotics woman and get married, have kids, have a whole life without me. 

We were only two years apart in age, but those two years might as well have been an eternity. Even if I hadn’t looked like his younger brother, I never would’ve had a chance with him.

“Something wrong?”

I jumped a little, rushing to compose myself enough to answer Aster’s question. “Yeah, it’s just… I’ll miss you when you go off to California.” 

Shaking his head, he clapped a hand on my shoulder. “You’re kidding, right? You’ve got a private jet, and if you don’t use it to visit me, I’ll be offended.” 

I laughed, even though it wasn’t quite as simple as he made it sound. Jet fuel was expensive. My parents never took the jet out unless they had an important business meeting overseas. They wouldn’t let me use it just to visit a friend three states away.

“Sure you’ll want me visiting?” I raised my eyebrows in mock interrogation. “Your professional robotics coworkers might think it’s funny you’re hanging out with a college sophomore.”

“Who said we had to tell them you’re a student?” He rubbed the back of his neck and gave me a sheepish smile. “You know, you wouldn’t have to visit if you went to school in Cali. I hear CCA has a great graphic design program. Everbotics and CCA are both in San Fransisco, so we could end up living nearby. Or we could rent a house together with some friends. Just a thought.”

Had he really been thinking about me when he was planning his future at Everbotics? It seemed too good to be true. He was my best friend, but that was largely because everyone else at my school thought I was weird and possibly demon-possessed. On the other hand, he had group of friends from robotics club he hung out with on campus. He wasn’t exactly desperate for company. 

I’d always been under the impression that I was more of a friend out of convenience than anything else. After all, when your work included accommodations on the boss’s estate, who was more convenient than the boss’s daughter? The possibility that I might’ve been wrong was thrilling. 

Aster palmed his forehead. “Sorry, that was dumb. You’ve probably already chosen some world-renowned school in Europe. Forget I said anything. Let’s head out.” 

He was halfway down the hall before I came to my senses and rushed out after him. I caught up to him when he stopped at the top of the main staircase. Backlit by the crystal chandelier, his auburn hair seemed to glow. Looking around at the three-story-tall entrance hall, I could tell why he might’ve assumed I had plans to go overseas for college. My parents certainly would’ve liked me to.

I hurried to walk next to Aster as we descended. “I’m not going overseas. I mean, I don’t have to. I haven’t actually chosen anywhere yet, ‘cause I love art—you know I do—but I don’t know what I want to specialize in. There are so many different mediums and styles and business models-” I stopped myself before I could ramble on any more. “Well, what I’m trying to say is I like your plan. It sounds like a very good plan.” 

“Really?” The corners of his lips twitched. “You’re not just saying that?”

“No, not at all.”

He grinned. “Then we should discuss the plan in full. Later, though. There’s something you’ve got to see first. You’ll want your camera and sketchbook. Oh, and thick gloves. Meet you outside in a few?”

“Of course.” I lightly punched his shoulder and ran back to my room.