Kismet. Unavoidable, Unknown. There's a pattern and connection in each action. Along with paradoxes that come from it. 

It was sunny, and on that day I sat underneath the shade of a tree. Serene, a rare moment in the bustling life of  Evenfall City , something that even the five year old me knew. I held my sleeping little brother, Emmet, as my grandmother went gardening in front of us. 

Gold. Wisdom of the old. Buried under the immortal love and woe.

The color always surrounded her, even though she always wore pale clothes. That day, she hummed a melody that was oddly melancholic yet uplifting. 

“What is that song, grandmother?” I asked her amidst my thoughts and daydreams. She stopped what she was doing and turned around towards me, giving the smile she’s well-known for.

“Just a song I made with my siblings back in the day. Why do you ask?” She stood up and went closer to me. 

“It’s weird. It felt sad and happy at the same time,” I told her in a low volume, so that Emmet wouldn't wake up. 

“Do you not like it?” she asked gently.

“No, I didn’t say that I dislike it. It just makes me wonder how two different things can intertwine together,” I explained to her and she gave a delighted chuckle. 

“You’ll understand when you’re older, that two striking different things usually have the same root. In the end they make the most beautiful combination together. Just like how life comes to be when there’s death. Or shadows that come wherever the light shines,” 

Back then, I frowned, confused by her answer.

“You don’t have to understand it now. I said it only because I had an urge to,”  She pet me on the head. I pouted. 

“Then, how do you feel about it? The song?” I asked her. She then looked up to the sky, as if contemplating something. 

“Like how I feel about the sky, it’s always with us yet so unreachable,” she said. I tilted my head in confusion. 

“Are you sad then?” I asked. She kept staring at the sky, in the end I followed her, wanting to understand what she meant. 

“Maybe, or maybe not. It’s oddly satisfying, seeing something that’s out of our reach,” she said to me, eyes fully immersed with the sight in front of her. 

“Why?” I asked, not really understanding what she meant. 

“Because at least, it means that it exists, even if it’s in a different plane of time. Even if it'll be forgotten at some point,” she replied with a tint of sadness. 

“Why did you keep singing it if it makes your emotions complicated?” I asked her. Back then I was a simple child, not knowing why adults indulged in complicated things. 

“The reason is simple actually, I want to keep it alive, the memories, as long as I can,” she said, slowly leaning to the tree behind us. 

“Alive…” I said softly. Noticing my mood, grandmother grabbed me by my shoulder, taking me out of my stupor. 

“You’re young, don’t think too much, you’ll get wrinkles-” she paused and ruffled my hair “-Listen, this is what’s important. No matter what, live your life happily okay? Promise me.” 

“How can anyone stay happy all the time? You’re asking for something that’s impossible,” I pouted while hearing that my little brother was waking up. 

“No, no. You’re free to feel everything. But choose something that will make you happy in the end,” she said as I stood up. I only nodded towards her words. 

“And remember, in the end, everything is only about perception,” 

Five years have passed since that day and along those years I watched how the world turned, with the ever changing color of humanity. More than the color of gold that my grandmother carried, and more than the pristine white of a newborn. 

Other people’s feelings trickled through my own, making it hard for me to differentiate them from my own emotion. That’s why I would rather be alone, to find clarity by myself. Among my peers though, there’s one persistent person who kept insisting me to play together. Lucas Matsuoka, who later became my first best friend. 

Yellow and Orange. As bright as the sun

“The sun is refreshing this morning,"

“It’s annoying to be honest, too bright, too hot,"

“And yet what would you do without it”

He’s one of the first ones who appreciated my personal space. Knowing that I easily get overwhelmed, he never forced me to go to crowded places. 

“You are reading the dictionary again? How boriing” I heard a whine from above me as I sat. It belonged to Lucas, who brought his lunch. My eyes then accidently diverted to his blue irises that had the same color as mine. He proceeded to sit beside me, underneath the tree that was rumoured to be haunted in our school. That tree, weirdly had the same color as the color that used to surround grandmother. 

Gold. Wisdom of the old. Buried under the immortal love and woe.

“If I were to become what I want, I would love to become that tree. It protects people from heat, and has a strong foundation and deep roots. It also lives for a long time, and could see how society changes through the good and the bad," 

“Is that so grandmother? Wait, What do you mean?”

“Ahaha...Yes. What would you like to become Liam?”

“Who wouldn’t find it boring? I read it just for the sake of understanding words. Besides it reminds me of ..," I stopped midway the sentence.

“Of what?” Lucas tilted his head in wonder.  

Back then when I frequently went to my grandmother’s house, I asked many things. Mostly the meaning of words that I heard people say. At one point my grandmother gave up on explaining and always brought a dictionary to give a legitimate definition. 

After Lucas saw me not responding for a long time he automatically frowned, maybe because he knew that he accidentally touched a sore spot. My family and his family were close after all. 

“How is she?” asked Lucas reluctantly as he sat beside me and started to eat. 

“Not so good, it caused a conflict this morning, that’s why I was almost late," I said nonchalantly as  I closed the dictionary and stared at the sky. 

“Aren’t you worried about her?” he asked once more, seeing how indifferent I was towards the situation. That question almost kindled something in my heart, but I shoved it away. 

“There’s no point, death will come no matter what, she’s old after all, I only wish that she’ll pass on peacefully. Besides, if I latched onto her, wouldn’t that make it harder for her to leave? I wouldn’t want her to have any regrets” 

I leaned further into the tree, feeling its solid surfaces. Grounding me from my thoughts. 

“See, you’re so nice! If people think that you’re heartless then what are they?” exclaimed Lucas. 

“I don’t really blame them though. It’s good enough they’re at least nice enough not to bully me. Even you, someone who’s known me for a long time, doubted me earlier, thinking that I might not be thinking about my grandmother," I pointed out and I could feel his guilt. I’m just not good with words and that’s why people misunderstand me. To be honest it’s frustrating but what can I do?

“Don’t feel guilty over it," I said to Lucas. He shrugged and laid down on the grass, not caring how it made his sweater and his black hair dirty. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask, where’s your glasses?” I asked him, knowing that he’s not really asleep. 

“Trevoir tackled me yesterday and my glasses went puwaahh and crackkkk,"  I have no idea how he still sounded enthusiastic even when he’s relaxing. I hummed in response. 

There was a beautiful moment of silence where I could hear the flapping of birds leaving its nest and the sounds of the rustling leaves. Or the sounds of laughter from far away and my own calm heartbeat. 

“AH!” Lucas abruptly shot up into a sitting position and I almost jumped because of his sudden outburst. I instantly moved my hands onto where my heart was and then raised an eyebrow. Lucas turned his face towards me. 

“Are you interested in urban legends?” he asked me. 

“Yes?” Why would he bring it up though?

“Do you know the alley near the park we pass by everytime we walk home?” I rolled my eyes at such an inane question. 

“Yeah of course I know, your point?” I asked.

“There’s an urban legend there! Everyone has been talking about it,” even when he’s sitting he gives the impression of jumping around. 

“There’s a rumor that if you go to the alley at twilight. You’ll either see a woman in black who brings a scythe or a man in white who brings a staff. If you see the woman, someone or something will die around there. If you see the man, someone who is sick will be healed. You want to check it out?” his face gleamed with excitement of discovering something unknown. 

Sightings like that were not uncommon in our hometown and it made sense because the alley was near a hospital. But it’s only a rumor. The reason why it spread could also be so people won’t come there, that place is a shady place as far as I know. But I would be lying if I said that it didn’t pique my interest. 

“Mommy and Daddy said it’s dangerous to go there. A lot of uncivilized people tend to come there,” I argued. 

“Oh come on, there’s patrolling police around there and aren’t you curious? I’ll bring my brother too, he’s already 18 years old, that can count as an adult right? He can do karate and protect us, no?” he argued back and it almost won me over. 

“I wouldn’t want to bother your brother," I said to him. 

“Nah, he won’t mind. Come on, pretty please," he asked with puppy eyes, his most dangerous weapon. 

“Why must you ask me though? You could go there alone with your brother," I averted my eyes somewhere else. 

“It’s always better with a friend you know!” he said as I scooted away from him. He immediately closed the gap again. 

 “But I’m boring, you can ask your other friends, " I didn’t get why he would think of me as a fun person. 

“Already asked, they’re scared though. You’re the only one I know that’s brave enough to face this kind of situation, so pretty please," the pitch of his voice went higher. At this point, I’m too tired to argue. 

“Fine, but you’ll have to convince my parents," I sighed and resigned. 

“Yes, leave it to me!” he dramatically points his thumb to himself. I doubt it though, he’ll probably leave it to his big brother. 

“If you manage to convince them, just tell me when," I said to him as the bell rang. He nodded as we proceeded back to the classroom. 

What a long day ahead...