‘I’m gonna do it today. It has to be today. Today is a good day. Today is the day. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this I can do this I can do this I can-’

“Zairyn! The hell are you doing?” Lynn called out.

“Shit!” I yelled in frustration. I had been trying to shift into a human form. I was already nineteen, but had never been able to do it.

And with my now-broken concentration…

“Dude, you looked like you were constipated, what were you doing?” my sister called.

“Well, I was trying to shift today, before you totally fucked up my focus,” I glared at her.

“Well, it didn’t look like that. Looked like you were trying to take a dump in the cave. Which is nasty as hell, so, y’know, don’t.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not stupid.”

“Are you sure about that?” Lynn asked skeptically. “Mom never looked like that when she shifted. She always looked ready to fight, not take a shit.”

If I could blush under my scales, I definitely was. I knew that I wasn’t doing it right, or I would have a human form by now, but I didn’t know I made such an embarrassing face whenever I tried. And being called out on it was bad enough.

“Anyway, why are you trying this again? You know that it’s fine to stay a dragon, right?” Katelynn’s voice had lost its edge and sounded more akin to a teacher trying to console a child.

“Except it’s not fine, Lynn. I eat a lot more food than you do, and it’s because I’m fifteen times as big as you. If I were a human, I’d eat less, and you wouldn’t have to go and buy so much food so often, and I wouldn’t have to work the forge as much, so less chance of us getting caught. Lynn, if I have a human form, we can be safe. As long as I’m stuck as a dragon… you’re in danger. I’m not losing anyone else.” I said with finality.

Lynn sighed. She knew I was right, but I had never been able to shift, not once my whole life. I was supposed to have been officially taught by our mother when I was fifteen, but… 

“We’ve been doing just fine until now. Besides, you eat about the same as a normal teenager, so you being a human wouldn’t change that much,” she joked.

I wasn’t going to just let her get away with it. “Yes, because every teen eats enough to feed a small village. Every. Freaking. Day. The only reason we’re not broke is because we don’t have to worry about rent or medicines.”

“You don’t eat that much, and that’s exactly my point. I can afford to feed you.” She took a moment to think, then said, “You don’t want to shift so badly because you’re lonely, right? You’ve never been out of the woods, have you?”

“No!”

That was a blatant lie, and it fooled no one. I was a bit lonely, but it wasn’t that bad. Besides, I don’t want to meet any more Humans. I was done with them. Once I understood that my parents' deaths weren’t accidents, or some sort of freak incident, I grew to eventually hate humans. They did nothing but destroy and even then were never content with what they gained. They killed Mom and Da for no reason, other than they were a dragon and her mate. They didn’t even care that they were innocent beings and had actually helped Humans more often than not.

“I just don’t want to make things harder for you. I should already know how to do this anyway.”

“Alright then, but don’t hurt yourself trying, okay? And before you get back to ‘practicing’,” and I could hear the air quotes around ‘practicing’, “light the forge for me. The phoenix rings are really in demand right now, and I just fixed the mold.”

I grunted a reply and practically dragged myself to the forge. ‘Practicing’, though it never yielded any results, still made me tired for some reason. Heating air in my belly and pushing out my fire was quick and easy. I had gotten really good at doing that, spending a little under six of the last years lighting the forge in a similar fashion almost every day.

“Thanks, Zair,” Lynn said, and she pulled out the ring mold and her thick leather apron. Putting on the shed dragon-scale gloves, she used a pair of huge pliers to throw in and turn about scrap bits of metal that would become the phoenix rings, beautiful and detailed rings depicting a swirling phoenix curling around the ring itself. Da designed it for Mom, something about the irony of a dragon with phoenix jewelry. But she loved it.

I personally hated the fact that Katelynn decided to start using the mold to make copies, fakes, of our Mom’s favorite ring, but it made more money and sold better than some of our other products, so I know why she did it. It was mainly my fault anyway… I ate so much, and I heard she even had to bribe a few people to convince them that they hadn’t seen a dragon in the fields near the woods. That’s why I wanted a human form. I could help her more. And I could protect her too. I’d heard that the new monarchy had several children, and they were looking for a bride for the youngest son, a prince. I didn’t know him, and I didn’t care, all I knew was that they were searching everywhere for a woman of marriageable age, even the peasant towns. 

It was unlikely that she would be chosen, for some unholy reason, but still. She was a very pretty young woman, and she carried herself with grace, and easy beauty, but you could tell she was strong and hardworking. She had more muscles than I knew were normal for a girl her age, not that that was a bad thing, but it just added to her attractiveness. She’d told me several times of some suitors in the village asking for her hand. Before even one date. The hell? Court my sister first asswipes. Give her food and money and clothes and some respect before you ask her to marry you.

I was getting pissed just thinking about someone getting close to my sister like that, so I headed to the back of the cave, where there was a smaller alcove filled with dried meats, fruits, and vegetables. Grabbing all that I needed for a stew, I put them in the largest pot we had and walked outside with a slightly smaller pot to fill with river water after lighting a fire beneath it to lightly simmer.

Stepping out of the cave always felt… liberating. I love my home, I really do, but it was stifling sometimes, and the smell of fresh air always helped me, whatever my mood.

Putting the pot’s handle in my jaw, I walked north to the river. Once I got there, I dipped the pot in and watched it fill up. It was already full, but I took a few moments to look around and enjoy the pre-dusk lighting in the deep woods. There were few birds still around singing, giving way to the crickets and frogs. Fireflies would soon emerge and the fungi crowding the bases of trees would glow with a dim ethereal light throughout the night. It was beautiful, I knew, but I had only seen it a few times. After the new monarchy came and Hunters were allowed to roam freely, it was more dangerous for me to leave the cave after dark.

I grabbed the pot from the water and carefully carried it back to the cave entrance, filling up the larger pot and throwing in some spices and salt.

“Are you done with the rings?” I asked Katelynn.

“Yup, just finished the last one. A few of them look a little wonky, so I’ll fix those up tomorrow after I finish selling the others and buying more veggies; we’re running low,” she replied. “Are you done with dinner yet?”

“Almost, just needs a few more minutes. Grab yourself a bowl and spoon?”

“Sure, but put some extra meat in mine.”

We ate in semi-silence, only talking to ask about each others’ day and what could be done to make more money, or to improve the stew, which apparently needed less salt.

“Too salty bro, you’re gonna stop my heart one day,” Lynn said dramatically, putting one hand on her chest like she was going to swoon.

“Just the right amount of salt you heathen. If I didn’t put this much, you wouldn’t be able to taste anything,” I retorted.

“Your tastebuds are just fucked up dude. You always add too much salt. I’m making dinner tomorrow,” she smirked at me. I knew it was going to be way too bland for me then, so I just scowled right back at her.

We stopped talking again. Trying to convince her that, no, two dragon-pinches of salt was not enough for this much stew was annoying, but I wish we would keep talking. The banter was fun, and made me forget about how dangerous everything was. It was nice. We were just a brother and sister, nothing more nothing less.

If only I knew how quickly things would change.