How can someone smile with so much sadness in their eyes? The cracks peeked through the crevices of her mask, crumbling as she laughed softly. It was fascinating watching her trying to survive through a conversation. The upturned lips fought with gravity, lifting up in a laughable attempt to force a smile. The corner of her lips trembled, masking her sighs. Her eyes tried to focus on the person in front of her but lost miserably. Her mind was elsewhere, escaping into her imagination.

It was a mirror of my life, no matter how hypocritical it seemed.

 She stood there like a sore thumb, trying to fit in. She was like a dove trying to camouflage as a peacock that wishes to escape the cage she advertently entered.

After so many years, how could someone remain unchanged and yet be a stranger still? Her face was more mature, yet there was still the mischievous glint behind her dead eyes. Her hair is longer now but still hangs in disarray on her back. Uncomfortable, she fidgets with her long dress.

The man in front of her tried to give her a drink, but she politely refused with a smile. 

"You can try talking to her, you know. Instead of watching her like a stalker." Lu Jing lazily sneers beside me.

I took a sip of the lukewarm champagne and tried to ignore his gloating face. 

I heard him sigh dramatically. "You stayed abroad for more than five years, but you are still hopeless when it comes to women."

"Ah yes, you and your successful attempt at wooing women." I glanced at him with a smirk. "Tell me, how it's been?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "At least I don't look like a pre-pubescent boy pining for a girl that can't even talk to her."

"I did talk to her," I murmured. "Today."

Stunned, he turned to me as though witnessing a miracle before his eyes. "No shit, man. Seriously?"

I shrugged my shoulders at him as my eyes watched her from across the hall of the party.

"So? Did she remember you?" He asked excitedly.

I pursed my lips.

Lu Jing sighed at me as he patted my shoulder consolingly. "Of course, she wouldn't remember."

I slipped into the crowd and escaped through the backdoor. In the empty parking lot, I watched the stars struggle to twinkle behind the smog and polluted sky. 

It was just like her--those stars that are trying so hard to survive.

Why did I even attend this blasted party? Because I was hoping I would run into her again? Meeting her this afternoon was purely coincidental. A hundred different scenarios ran through my mind of the first time we saw each other again.

But after fourteen years, all the words I kept repeating in my mind vanished the moment she stood in front of me at the elevator. 

There was no recognition in her eyes.

Of course. Technically, that was our first meeting.

"Are you getting in?" she asked politely. The eyes that haunt my dreams and nightmare were staring at me like a stranger's, and my God, it breaks me.

"Yes." A voice that sounded more like a grunt came from my mouth. I went inside the metal box, but the air inside my lungs was burning. 

"Which floor?" she asked as she glanced up at me, the fluorescent light illuminating her small face. 

How could she stare so innocently with those black eyes? There was no recognition in those eyes, an imitable blankness in them. All those years of longing and desperation culminated into this moment of silence.

During the years of separation, I occupied my mind with routine work to mitigate my mind from recollection. It was torture and salvation: to avert my mind to the desperation of holding onto the memories, as it would surely ruin my resolve. But I can't deny the impact those few months had.

There were nights I lay on my bed, in an unfamiliar city, with my whole body aching from overexertion. But my mind will always go back to this city.--the place that had you.

"Sir?" she repeated, worry evident in her eyes. "Are you alright?"

I might have stared back at her blankly, with my expression unnatural. I cleared my throat and punched the floor number. I stared at the floor and waited at the 'ping' of the elevator, racing to escape.

I chuckled at myself, alone again in the parking lot as I stared at the darkness of the smog-covered sky. There were no stars as the dark loomed over.

The door behind me swung open slightly, a small figure emerging from the shadows.

It's her again, coughing from the fumes of the cheap perfume inside the hall. She caught a glimpse of me and immediately tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I--I'm sorry. I didn't expect anyone would be here, uh--"

"Escaping the party?" I provided.

A small smile emerged from her pale face. "Uh, yes. But it was not because I thought the party was boring. It was amazing, to be honest." She amended.

"The party was boring."

An eyebrow shot up as a glint in her eyes shone. "Weren't you part of the organizer, sir?"

Sir?

I stared at her quizzically. I got invited to this party because of Lu Jing's company that organized it. I don't think anyone recognized me, but how did she know? Did she--

"You were with Mr. Lu earlier, so I assumed you were acquainted." She bit her lip slightly.

"How did you arrive at that conclusion?" I asked curiously. "We could have been just mingling for appearances."

A giggle escaped her lips as her hand shot up to cover it. "I don't think Little Potato--I mean, Mr. Lu is the type to act petulantly in front of a potential business partner."

Little Potato?

A low chuckle escaped from my mouth, surprised that anyone would compare Lu Jing to a spoiled brat. He does act out in front of me all the time--he's like a chihuahua.

She stood in front of me, clutching the slit of her dress on her thigh. 

"What's wrong?" I asked as she frantically tried to cover her thigh with the high slit. She looked, uh, uncomfortable. 

"I, uh, this dress is a bit revealing." She answered, a slight blush on her cheeks.

No shit. The dainty straps of the dress could barely cover the shoulders. I almost punched the guy leering at her earlier. I could feel the anger rising inside me at the thought.

I instantly took off my coat and covered her shoulders. It was long enough for her petite frame. My fingers unconsciously grazed her bare skin, which made me reflexively take a step back.

"Thanks." Unfazed, she smiled at me gratefully. "I hope you didn't think I was silly for wearing this dress and complaining about it."

"Of course not." I stoically answered.

"Um, sir, are you feeling better?" Her voice echoed in the empty parking lot. "I, uh, you might not remember, but we met at the elevator earlier. You looked 'indisposed' so I--"

Mortification came over me instantly.

She remembered how I acted like a stuttering fool in front of her.