I slid into the student health office, hoping my boss Asha wouldn't look up from her desk. It was not my lucky day.

“I don't want to see you coming in here late everyday,” she said with a smile.

“I was hoping you wouldn't see me at all,” I countered.

“This better be a temporary issue is all I'm saying,” she replied. “Lianna is already in the van. Go on!”

I hustled to join Lianna in our little emergency van. It wasn't quite an ambulance, just like we weren't quite paramedics. But it did the job for messy college students.

“There she is!” Lianna said, making room for me on the bench. “Hey, it's a good thing nobody died while we were waiting.”

I liked Lianna. She was easy to be around, which was a blessing on long shifts in a confined space.

“Hey, have you done the bio reading yet?” she asked. “I was thinking we could quiz each other for tomorrow.”

“Uhh, I got wrapped up in other stuff this weekend,” I said. “I mean, I lost track of time.”

“That's cool,” she said. “I'll teach you. That's how I learn best anyways.” She hauled her bio textbook out of her bag and thumped it on her lap. “You're trying to be a nurse, right?”

“I--” The words caught in my throat. “Yeah, I guess,” I said. The truth was, I didn't know what I was trying to be.

“I think I’m going to go into anesthesiology after undergrad,” Leanna continued. “I think that's going to be my thing. I've always wanted to go into medicine, but it's been so exciting to start learning about all of the different paths you can take--”

Exciting? More like terrifying. A wave of jealousy washed over me.

I had thought that I would get to college and find my calling, but so far it had felt like a constant reminder of how silent my career phone had been. No rings. No voicemails. Not even a text. My whole life had felt like everyone’s phone was ringing but mine.

And college hadn’t exactly been the change I’d been hoping for.

I went to college, and all I got was a vampire in my dorm room.

But the vampire in my dorm room had been the one bright spot. Toby hadn’t blinked when I told him I was undecided.

“That’s what college is for,” he’d said. “Trying things. Seeing what works. You have to give it time.” He’d laughed, almost at himself, in that moment. “Honestly, I’m still figuring it out.”

Time. With Toby in my room, waiting for answers, time felt like the last thing I had.

And time to figure out who I was, and what I wanted from the rest of my life? Well… who knew when I would have that again?

I eyed Lianna as she chattered about her life dreams and tried to imagine asking her about how she became a vampire. So, uh, when did you get the bite? What was that like? Can you describe the intimate physical and emotional details of the moment you acquired immortality and your un-life changed forever?

Somehow it didn’t feel like our relationship was at that point yet.

“--and I think there’s this stereotype about vampires and blood, but when I’m in work mode, I’m in work mode, you know?” Lianna was saying. “It’s no more distracting for me than it would be for a human.”

“Totally,” I said automatically. Then--trying to choose my words carefully-- “Have you… always… felt that way?”

“Pretty much.” Lianna tilted her head to the side, thoughtfully. “Maybe it was different when I was really young, but you grow out of that phase where you totally lack impulse control pretty quickly. Just like human kids.”

“Oh,” I said, and even I could hear the disappointment in my voice. Lianna looked at me curiously.

“You know I’m natural-born, right?” she asked. Born a vampire. “Most student vampires are. Some of the grad students were turned back in the day, but they’re all ancient.”

“Sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean to--” I didn’t know what I meant to do. Or didn’t.

My heart sank. If Lianna was born a vampire, she wouldn’t know what it was like to change. And I was back to square one with helping Toby adjust.

“It’s cool,” Lianna assured me. “Not a lot of vampires around growing up?”

“There weren’t any vampire kids at my school,” I said. “I lived in the middle of nowhere, though.”

Just then the van started to move. Lianna leaned forward to check in with our driver, a quiet, older paramedic named Drew.

“Some kid vomiting already,” Lianna told me.

“What? It’s the middle of the day.”

“He claims it’s food poisoning,” she said. “My biggest advice for freshmen? Find your limits early, and don’t try to push them.”

I swallowed hard.

“Honestly?” I said. “One of my limits might be vomit.”

“What?” She looked at me, alarmed. “You did the whole course this summer, right? How did that never come up?”

“I’m good with blood,” I assured her. “Everything else is fine. It’s just…” I winced as I felt my stomach turn over in anticipation of our looming job. “I’m a sympathetic vomiter.”

“Oh, Paige,” Lianna said, worry clear in her eyes. “Okay… let me take the lead on this one.”

I leaned back against the wall of the van and tried to steel myself. In training, this had seemed like a minor part of the job. I had thought for a moment that maybe being a nurse was an option for me.

I must have missed the day when we went over vomiting protocol.

The van pulled to a stop. Lianna put a hand on my arm before we got out.

“Paige,” she said, “we live on a college campus. You’re going to have to get used to this.”

“Yeah,” I said, trying to put on a brave face. “Yeah. Totally. It’s going to be fine.”

It was not fine.