“Incense?”
“Check.”
“Candles?”
“Check.”
“Boysenberry jam?”
Toby didn’t respond, and I looked over at him. He was holding the jar of jam, looking perplexed.
“Why boysenberry jam?” He sounded tired.
“He said ‘the juice of a boysenberry,’ but they’re not in season,” I said. Toby didn’t move. “Put it in the box.”
He sighed and dropped the jar into the box. It clinked against the candles.
“Matchbook?”
“Check.”
“I think that’s everything.”
“Boysenberries don’t grow everywhere,” Toby said. “What did people do if they didn’t have boysenberries?”
I shrugged.
“There were probably different rituals for different cultures,” I said. Toby hefted the box. I peeked inside, then looked at him.
“Are you ready?” I asked.
“As I'll ever be,” he said. Then-- “Wait--”
He shoved the box at me, and bent over his computer. I’d been dropping by his apartment since his transformation to pick up his things--clothes, computer, toothbrush--always trying to schedule it for when his roommate would be out. We’d been lucky so far.
“There’s a meeting tonight,” Toby said. A Daybreakers leadership meeting. I’d forgotten.
“I told them you’re sick,” I said.
“I’ve shown up sick before,” Toby said, biting his lip as he read through the email.
“That’s good,” I said. “That there’s a meeting. It means some of them will be busy in the study room.”
I was starting to get used to the strange hours of college life. Daybreakers wasn’t the only club to meet late at night--after everyone’s classes and dinners and assignments had been wrapped up for the day.
“I have to leave the club,” Toby said, after a long pause. “I… If I don’t show up, they’ll come looking for me.”
I thought about our conversation the night before. About feeling like an outsider, or like we didn’t have a place.
Daybreakers, as silly as it was, had become Toby’s place.
He started typing an email. I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, that he was going to be able to go back--but even as I opened my mouth I could feel that was a lie.
Toby snapped his computer shut and stood up.
“Let’s go,” he said tightly, taking the box back from me. I looked at him, but he avoided my gaze. I reached for my jacket.
Then I heard a click from the door.
The sound of a key in the lock.
I looked at Toby.
“Hide,” I hissed.
“Where?”
“Just do it!”
I grabbed the box from him as he looked around the room. The door handle started to turn.
Toby jumped into my tiny fiberboard closet and folded his legs up. He grabbed at the door, but I got there first--slamming it closed just as Elle waltzed into the room.
“Hey babe!” she sang. I clutched the box to my chest and leaned against the closet door so that it wouldn’t swing open. Toby was skinny--but he was too tall to fit comfortably into such a small space.
“What’s up,” I said.
“Ooh, what’s in the box?” she asked.
“I’m… decorating,” I said. She hadn’t answered my question. “What’s up?”
“Just grabbing a fresh outfit,” she said. She’d crammed a Versaille-level wardrobe into her tiny standard-issue dorm set.
Toby would never have fit into her closet. It was a good thing I didn’t have that many clothes.
She dumped a pile of clothes on her bed and started refilling her hamper from the closet. I craned to find a clock without dropping the box or letting the closet door swing open.
We were getting closer and closer to midnight…
“Max has like, no clothes,” Elle was saying. “So there’s plenty of space for me, which is great, but… not quite enough space, you know?”
She stuffed a final handful into the hamper, then turned to me.
“I’m so glad you weren’t asleep,” she continued. “I was so worried I was going to wake you up. We had an events meeting, and it totally ran long--”
“Oh.” I tried to keep my tone light--I didn’t want to be rude, but I needed Elle to leave before my arms gave out.
“We’re planning, like, the party to end all parties for Homecoming,” she gushed. “You have to be there.”
“Homecoming,” I said.
“It’s going to kill,” Elle said, hefting the hamper onto one hip.
“Can’t wait,” I said.
We stood there awkwardly for a moment, Elle holding her hamper, me holding my box.
“So you’re decorating?” she said.
“Just trying some things,” I said. “Candles.”
“Love a candle. Don’t tell the RA.”
“Haha,” I said. Candles weren’t allowed on our floor. “I guess I’ll have to be careful.”
At least Elle wouldn’t worry where the candles had gone if she ever came back.
“Okay,” she said. “Well. Have fun.” She started towards the door, then paused. “Sorry to leave you here alone.”
“No,” I said quickly, “I”m like, really tired. I have so much work to do.”
She lingered in the doorway.
“We’ll hang out later,” I said. “We should, like. Get lunch. Or something.”
A smile lit up her face.
“Totally. Can’t wait. Bye babe!”
I waited for the door to click shut, then staggered away from the wardrobe. Toby tumbled out, hair sticking up, clothes rumpled.
“Your roommate sounds like… a lot,” he said. I shoved the box at him.
“I guess,” I said, grabbing my jacket. As much as I felt bad for blowing her off, she always seemed to show up at the worst possible moments.
I glanced back at Toby. His skin looked even whiter next to the black of his hoodie.
“Hood up,” I said, then cracked the door open to check the hallway.
The coast was clear.
“Let’s do this.”
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