TW: mention of self-harm, mention of suicide!!

We sat Quietly for a while; the silence was soothing. I didn't wanna move and Myles never once questioned it, he sat there holding me close to him. He knows what Stout said, even without me telling him. I couldn't say it to him, never. I sighed and looked down to my forearm and lift up my right sleeve. I rub along the long scar that trailed from my wrist to my elbow. It was only thin and not very noticeable, but I could still feel the burning of the blade and see the blood dripping onto my bathroom counter and floor. Myles looked down at me arm and I didn't need to look at him to know the expression he wore, his eyes were wide, and his lips were pressed tight, his chin quivering. I could tell he was holding back tears. I leant into his shoulder the top of my head resting against his jaw.

"I'm sorry... I never wanted you to be caught up in this... If you don't mind me asking... How long ago did that happen?" He asked tipping his head to my arm.

"When I was 15... I came out to dad, oh and yeah, surprise I'm also gay. He wasn't happy. I had stupid thoughts to make him happy I might as well... end it all... After that day was when grace came into my life... Big mistake. Wish I could take it back, this never would've happened... as stupid as it sounds it still hurts whenever someone mentions shit like harming yourself and other things..." I could feel the scar starting to sting and I could feel tears starting to swell in my eyes. I was still traumatized from that day. Myles's arm wrapped tighter around me, and his other hand reached out and rested it on my wrist and his thumb lightly traced the scar the stinging stopped, and I relaxed into Myles.

"Thank you." I whispered to Myles, and I could feel a tear fall down my cheek. Myles sat up straighter and unwrapped his arms from me, he reached down and pulled up his left sleeve. Along his beautiful tan skin, he had a long scar that matched mine, from his wrist to his elbow, there were tinier scars around it. If I wasn't crying before I was now. Myles had a matching scar to mine, but on his left arm. I knew right away he thought similar to me when he came out to someone, or maybe he was outed by someone he trusted, I haven't had it happen to me, but I know it must hurt worse than anything in the world.

"W-when did you... Oh my god I'm so sorry, you don't have to talk about it if-" I spoke up and I could feel my face get hot under the fear of just asking him to tell me. I was still crying from seeing his scar and I could see Myles's eyes starting to glisten in the small amount of light from the lamp on my desk.

"15... Same as you... My only friend in high school... he did some horrible things to me... and outing me was not even the worst... I thought it would be over after this... my Mumma saved me though, and I am forever grateful she did. Otherwise, I never would've met you." Myles's eyes met mine and he quirked a slight smile. I stopped crying and smiled back at him. Fuck, he is so strong to go through all the shit that has happened to him and still get up another day and keep fighting in this burning hell of a world.

I reach out and wrap my arms behind his back and he slides his arms around my neck, it was nice being with Myles I felt different, a good different. Like he understands me, he knows that this world is shitty, and he is even stronger for pursuing in it like he does. I like Myles, I really, really like Myles. He makes me feel like I am a human not a worthless piece of shit who was only born to carry a stupid and lousy name to allow a future to a fucked-up business.

"I'm glad you told me, it’s a shitty world and we make bad decisions in the past, but I can assure you I will do my best to let you live a somewhat decent life in this shithole until we can graduate. I'm more than happy to help you with anything, I trust you and I hope you trust me." Myles spoke without breaking our hug which was the only thing from making either of us burst into tears.

"I know. And Myles, same to you. Please come to me if you need to talk about anything, you’ve been through a lot, and you don't have to fight it alone anymore. I trust you more than I trust anyone in the world. I don't wanna lose you... I haven't known you for the longest time, but you are the only one I've ever felt like me around. Thank you." I pull Myles closer, and I nuzzle into his neck, he does the same. It's strange how you don't need to know someone for years to be worthy of a 'closest friend' label. Time does not build friendships, people and their personality does. Myles is my first and only friend in my twenty shitty years being in this world.

He is starting to become my world.