What up dipshits, I hope you had fun reading the previous 3 chapters. No wait, actually I don't. I hope it was the most miserable pile of slob you've ever read. Why? Because dipshits, I wasn't in it obviously.

              Who the fuck am I you ask? Just read the chapter title. I'm best girl obviously. Name's Paula best remember it. Wait I was in the prologue? And you thought I was a bitch? Well nobody fucking asked you dipshit. Anyways, I'm hijacking the story narration for this chapter so let's see… what even happened in the prologue with me again? Self-insert mcboringass aka Xavier here was serving me a drink? Hmm… yeah you know what, it's not his fucking chapter so I'm just going start before then.

              Okay, let's go back now about 4 years before The Starlight. I think about then is how far back you'll need to go to see the true superior nature of me, Paula Moni, clearly the most superior human being you will ever meet. Back then I was 18 and looking fly as shit on my motorcycle and leather jacket on the streets of Miami. You wanted drugs? You came to me. You wanted to find a party? You came to me. You wanted a hook… nice companion for the night? You came to me.

              Yeah, I bet you didn't expect a delinquent in this story did you? Well too bad, I'm here anyways. Even back in high school I got into too many fights. Boys think they're tough as shit until they get knocked flat on their ass you know what I'm saying? Shit really hit the fan when I whacked a guy at school who tried to hit on me with one of the classroom chairs . Creepy fuck tried to give me flowers or some shit. Yeah, couldn't really justify that one with the principal to be honest. Soon the expulsion notice was given to me.

              It didn't matter much though. I was basically on the streets already at the time anyway. My parents disowned me. Well, I can't really blame them, they were honestly hard working fishers trying their best so I'll leave them out of this. Anyways, back to the most important person ever, me of course, I quickly took full time to the back alleys of Miami where I had already established myself as a well known drug dealer. Slowly I learned the ins and outs of the game. Before I knew it, I was pushing pounds of snow a week making mad cash with connects from Cuba to Columbia.

              Yeah honestly, I was definitely hot shit back then. How exactly did I end up being friends with frilly ass BL lover Melanie Suwi anyways you ask? Well shit, I mean it isn't a drug story unless we hear about some run ins with the law now is it? Well that's what happened to me 2 years ago. One of my supplier boys, forgot that dipshit's name, tried to sneak some supply in from a cruise ship. Which one? Well the exact name doesn't matter, but you probably guessed it, it was one of Mr. Suwi's.

              He actually came to me directly with Melanie that day in my run down apartment on 12th street. He gave a knock on my door standing outside with some tough looking dudes in sun glasses and black suits. What was I doing at the time? Like any real criminal I was playing Pokemon obviously. Can I say that? Is that going to be copyright infringed too? Whatever, that's too iconic to parody anyway. Yeah I was playing on my old Gameboy when he came knocking. Knew I was screwed then and there when they had my bitch ass supplier boy standing there too with his suitcase crying.

              "I'll make you a deal," he said to me. Luckily we both had some things to lose at the time. Obviously, he was part of that 1% rich enough to cover his ass anytime he wanted so he had some leverage. Still, it wouldn't have been good for his rep if it was found out some dude managed to get past security and smuggle some coke onto his cruise line.

              "You seem like a tough girl from what bitch ass smuggler boy told me."

              Well, he didn't use those exact words but you get the idea.

              "My dear daughter Melanie here happens to be going off to college soon and might need some protection."

              That's when he offered me the position to be Melanie's private body guard. Well, between that and jail, I didn't really have much of a choice on the matter. Before I knew it, I got to know Melanie and her family friends at the rich ass private all-girls college she went to.

              I won't go too hard on little Melanie, girl did pay my bills after all. We use to stay in a bougie two bedroom apartment where I had to keep a careful watch on her at all times. She's a nice girl really; only weird parts were when she stayed up all-night watching BL or nature documentaries. Girl thought she was clever too but I could always hear two guys moaning from inside her room. Silly Melanie honestly, at least she's cute though.

              Yeah Yeah, for those of you thinking I suck at my job for not watching over Melanie when she jumped over the window, just know that I just happened to be in the bathroom at the time okay! No need to go into details about my sobriety nor that I was puking my guts out, that's not important we can ignore that. What is important is what happened immediately afterwards. You see, right when I returned to the room Melanie and I had been staying at, I did notice the room was vacant and the window was open.

              "Haha Melanie, this must be one of your pranks or something." I said looking around the room for her. She's a small girl so really she could have fit anywhere including in some of the cabinets.

              "Where are ya! I swearrrr, Ima get ya!"

              See caring. Would someone who wasn't responsible be looking for the one they were assigned to protect? What's that? Aren't there bathrooms in the room we were staying at?

              …

              Okay Okay dipshits you caught me, look I'm not going to claim I'm the most reliable narrator in the world, only an entertaining one. And it's more convenient and entertaining to say I was in a bathroom outside the room and not irresponsibly taking shots partying at the upstairs bar with the cute bartender there. I mean who in their right mind would have thought someone would jump out a fucking window into the sea for some motherfucking BL Comics! Yuri's way better but I digress.

              Anyways, what was the fallout then after a long search for Melanie and Xavier after they disappeared from the cruise ship? Hell if I know, like any responsible and honorable adult in this situation, I decided to sneak away onto one of the life boats of the ship. What? Did you forget I'm a wanted drug dealer? Mr. Suwi would hand my ass to the police faster than Xavier can fail at being an interesting MC once it was completely confirmed that I had ditched my duties as body guard and let Melanie slip away from the cruise ship. For all I knew, she could have been dead at the time.

              "So longggggg dumbasses!" I shouted as I began to row away from the ship. I didn't carry anything with me at the time except for of course my trusted Gameboy. Got to have your priorities straight when you're making a getaway from civilization know what I'm saying?

              Yeah look, I never claimed to be the smartest chick in the world either. I didn't have a compass or even my phone with me the next day so I had no fucking idea where I was even going to row to. But I had to go somewhere, so I just kept rowing and rowing and rowing. Eventually after about half a day and being hungry as fuck, I saw a small sail boat that had started to sail past me. Quickly I rowed my way towards to boat.

              On the boat was a tan skinned man wearing only a seaweed skirt and some sort of tribal wooden mask. I'll just leave it at that, don't really want to culturally appropriate or anything.

              "Hun…hungry," I said to him as I climbed aboard his boat.

              "I'm very hungry, can you please help me out here?"

              What did he say to me after I asked that? Now look, like I said, I may be a fucked up delinquent criminal on the run, but I'm not the type to offend anyone in case what he said to me was an actual language okay? Point is, I didn't understand jack shit what he said back but it sure as fuck wasn't English. Still, not like I had many options at the time. For a while I just sat there awkwardly on the boat. I tried my best to communicate using hand gestures like rubbing my tummy to indicate my hunger. To that at least, he seemed to understand and quickly operated the boat towards a nearby island.

              Was it the island Xavier and Melanie landed on? No, what the fuck, have you even been paying attention? Obviously not. I was on some other island in the Bermuda triangle where mmm… how do I put this? It was an island operated by a tribal cult or something that all wore wooden tribal masks.

              "Oh okay okay cool," I thought to myself when I arrived surrounded by other wooden masked people on the island who spoke the same language as the first man. There were only about 100 people total on the island who all lived in wooden huts that were built near the beach. Two of them held onto my arms as the others huddled around in a circle discussing what I assume would be what they would do with me.

              "I've seen this before in movies," I thought, "This is the part where they take me in as one of their own and I begin learning the ways of their ancient tribe and lifestyle."

              And that's exactly what happened…

              My fucking ass. Turns out racism exists in isolated tribes too and the first thing they did was immediately lock me up in one of the wooden huts which I assumed to be their prison. Yeah I know… what the fuck. And here I was expecting an island tribal adventure. The wooden hut I was locked in was mostly enclosed except for a small rectangular window at the bottom where the islanders would pass me fish and other food during the day. Yeah, I wish I could tell you some of the cool traditions and lifestyles of the islanders but I was pretty much in solitary confinement. I couldn't see jack when I looked out the window except for a view of the sea and occasionally several islanders who would pelt rocks at my hut. Honestly, at the time, I probably would have preferred just being in regular American jail.

              Oh well… at least I had my Gameboy and 3 Pokemon games. I was honestly shocked they didn't confiscate those but I guess even racist islanders have some respect. But yeah, for the next 2 weeks or so that's literally all I did in my locked up wooden hut. I would turn on my Gameboy and grind Pokemon. Really no different than middle school now that I think about it.

              Anyways, after 2 weeks of really nothing interesting happening other then getting my hut pelted by rocks and playing Pokemon, one of the islanders finally decided to let me out.

              "Wait hold up, I'm still battling the elite 4 can you give me a moment?" I said as he opened the door. Of course, his reply to me was in a completely different language so I still had no idea what the fuck he said. A group of the masked islanders than grabbed me and tied my hands up with some rope.

              "What… what the hell!"

              Without warning, they tossed me and my Gameboy and Gameboy games onto a small wooden boat and pushed me away from the island. As I slowly drifted away from shore, I saw the lot of them cheering and screaming what I assumed to be insults at me.

              "Whelp at least this can't get worse!" I said to myself as I drifted away from the island back into the open sea. God or whoever must have heard that though and laughed as almost immediately the clouds in the sky began to darken.

              "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!" I said diving on top of my Gameboy and Pokemon Games. What? Like I said, I have my priorities straight. Luckily no rain came damaging my precious device. Only the extremely harsh winds that continuously rocked the small wooden boat I was on back and forth. I'm not sure why but there must have been something in the air because my eyes suddenly began feeling droopy. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep lying stomach down on my Gameboy.

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