**Xavier Narrating Now**

              It's been 15 days since Melanie and I washed onto the shores of the unknown island we were on. About 3 days ago, the mysterious Canadian android woman, Fiona, literally fell from the sky and joined us on the island. For some reason she happened to carry 4 small tent kits with her in the space pod she had come in. We had been sleeping in our own tents the past 3 days around the campfire spot we had originally set up. Other than that, nothing really has changed from the usual routine Melanie and I had before of fishing and gathering berries on the island for food.

              Of course, being an android, Fiona didn't need to eat. She was tasked instead with exploring other parts of the island while Melanie and I went fishing. It was on the 15th day while doing that exact task when we happened to see a small wooden boat approach us from the distance in the ocean.

              "Hey, you see that?" I said to Melanie pointing at it in the distance.

              "Yeah yeah, looks like some sort of small boat."

              "You… you think it's the rescue team?"

              "Nah doubt it, they'd send at least a few cruise lines and some helicopters for us. At least the private ones we own."

              Perks of being rich I suppose. Anyways, as the small wooden ship approached us, we noticed that on the ship was a person. When we got a closer look, the person appeared to be a curly haired blonde woman with a red two piece swimming suit on. Wait… she looks familiar. I'm sure I've seen this exact build, cloth, and hair on a person before. Wait… it couldn't be right?

              "Paula!!!!!!!!!!" Melanie shouted running towards the sleeping woman when the boat washed up to us. The curly haired girl shot up and looked at her.

              "Mel… Melanie!?!??!" She said looking up at her. Melanie gave her a quick hug before she began to untie her. As she did, I approached as well causing Paula to stare at me.

              "And… and… dipshit?"

              "The name's Xavier thank you very much…"

              Melanie untied Paula who grabbed what appeared to be a Gameboy and some Pokemon games with her on the boat and stepped onto the shore.

              "Holy shit Paula it's actually you! How did you even get here?"

              "Long story Melanie, and I could ask you the same thing. What the hell are you doing on this island with dipshit over there?"

              Okay… remain calm. Wait to be honest this is a little too convenient isn't it? I'm the only guy here on a deserted island with 3 three fairly attractive women. God must have blessed me with some sort of harem story right? Yeah… that's got to be it.

              "It's uhh… nice to see you again too…" I said muttering to Paula before going back to my thoughts.

              "Okay, let's think clearly and examine the tropes here. Melanie's like the genki fujoshi girl that's meant for girls to relate to. I've definitely seen that before. Fiona's a sort of kuudere emotionless android I guess. Seen that too though for some reason she's Canadian. That means based on how she's been talking to me and our interactions so far… Paula must be the short tempered violent tsundere girl! Yeah, I should ignore her comments and give her a chance."

              Just as I was thinking that however, I was quickly shoved to the ground by Paula.

              "Who… who is that gorgeous redhead!??!"

              "Oww… what the?"

              As I got up and dusted myself off, I turned around and saw that Fiona had returned from exploring the island for the day.

              "Oh that's Fiona, she's apparently an android from Canada who…"

              "Shut up dipshit," Paula said shoving me back onto the ground. She then approached Fiona and began to feel up her body.

              "Please stop" Fiona said blankly.

              "Ahhhhh... but you're just soooooo cute and have such nice proportions," Paula said rubbing her waist and stomach.

              "Paula no, what the hell, you can't do that!" I shouted at her.

              "What do you mean dipshit? Of course I can. Don't you know how this works? I have a vagina therefore I can do whatever I want to other women without getting in trouble."

              So this is why feminism hasn't progressed…

              "Fiona's my name,"

              "Mmmmhmmm…. Fiona eh? How about me and you get to know each other better for a bit?" Paula said putting an arm around Fiona and walking along the shore

              "Is… is she always like that?" I asked Melanie.

              "Yeah pretty much, as long as I've known her, she's been fond of pretty girls,"

              "What… you mean she's a…"

              "She's a lesbian yes."

              "Oh…"

              "…"

              "…"

              "And she's also my body guard."

              "What?!?!"

              "Yeah, my dad sort of took her in from the streets a few years back and made her guard me instead of putting her in prison. I wonder how she got here anyways."

              "Yeah that makes sen… no actually it doesn't where did that backstory even come from? A bodyguard? I thought she was just one of your snooby family friends or something."

              "What? No no… she's my body guard. Yeah, dad's real worried due to my small stature that I'd get bullied or something, so they hired her as my personal body guard. Honestly… she wasn't very good at her job."

              "Uh-huh…."

              "Yeah I mean whenever we were in the city, she'd always care way more about whatever cute girl we see at the time instead of really keeping an eye out on me. Like who does that? Like I get it you know, you like girls, but you don't have to share every detail about your fantasies and make every situation about hitting on girls. Sometimes when we're having a conversation, it feels like she's just talking to a brick and I'm not even really there."

              "Like how you turn every situation into an Yaoi one?"

              "Yaoi is holy art, that's completely different."

              "…"

              "…"

              "Yeah… anyways let's just catch some fish and join up with them. We have an extra mouth to feed now."

              "Okay dipshit!"

              "…."

              "…"

              "I'm going to tell Paula and your parents when we get rescued you got us in this situation for some Yaoi magazines."

              "Just kidding Mr. Xavier! I meant to say uhh… dip….dependable! As in you're really dependable as a person and would never do that to me! Haha haha haha."

              "You're lucky your cute you know that."

              "…"

              "…"

              "Wow what a simp."

              "Hey Paula! You want to know how we got here?" I said running towards Paula and Fiona.

              "Wait wait wait just kidding you're the best Xavier! Coolest guy I know!" Melanie said tackling me. As lifted my head off of the ground, I looked off into the distance and gave out a small sigh.

              "I'm the only guy you know…"