"So you lied, and the first thing you did was to come to me for help?" I narrowed my eyes at Carlos. "Am I like your fairy godmother or something?"

My best friend sputtered, lower lip trembling with an excuse. He shrugged then settled for a slightly shrill exclaim,"You're well-connected!"

"How am I well-connected?" I asked, curling my fingers into air quotes before handing him a can of soda. "I'm a homebody like you. I get excited when people cancel on me."

"You're an event organizer," Carlos pointed out, "which is kinda ironic, considering you're such an introvert."

"Yeah, but I like to see people enjoying a good party. I just don't want to be in the thick of it." I let out a sigh and settled back into the sofa.

Carlos mimicked me and placed the bucket of fried chicken between us. "It's just that you might know someone who's free Friday night and can, I dunno, pretend to be my boyfriend for, like, thirty-minutes before he conveniently gets a call from work and has to leave the party?"

I snorted and grabbed a handful of my dark shoulder-length wavy hair and wrangled it into a bun on top of my head. I grabbed a drumstick from the bucket and pointed it at him.

"And what's in it for your fake boyfriend?"

Carlos shrugged again and helped himself to a crispy chicken breast. I picked at my fried chicken, breaking the skin and sighing happily at the delicious cracking noises.

"Free dinner and a chance to meet people in the publishing industry?" Carlos asked.

"Wouldn't it be better if they didn't have an interest in the publishing industry?" I asked, mid-chew. "Less chances of your ruse getting discovered. I mean, it's not just a one-time thing, right? There's the engagement party and the wedding itself. You can't fake-beak up with him before the wedding."

Carlos closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He bit into his fried chicken and sighed in frustration. It was a testament to how bothered he was about the whole thing that he didn't even say something corny like how Chicken Joy Wednesday was the best day of the week. (It was. Every day we eat Jollibee Chicken Joy is the best day of the week.)

And although I wanted to help him, I had to play Devil's advocate to this really stupid plan.

"And remember, it's Friday night. Most people I know will be having drinks with friends, going on a weekend getaway.... There's gotta be another perk aside from free--"

"I'll pay them," Carlos said, tearing viciously into the chicken. He looked at me with determination burning in his eyes. Strips of meat hung from his jaws. He continued to stare at me, unblinking. It was a wild and crazy look. He was absolutely desperate.

"How much?" I whispered dramatically, narrowing my eyes.

 "Fifty bucks."

 "I don't think--"

"Per hour."

My mouth hung open. After a few seconds, I realized I looked like an idiot and closed it. "And how many hours...?"

"Depends. Doesn't matter. I'll Venmo the money or whatever--"

"And the dates in between? 'Cause I mean you'll need pictures, proof that you've been dating for a year--"

"I'll pay for those, too."

I cleaned my chicken bone of meat and dropped it into the paper napkin laid out on the coffee table.

"Wow, I wish I was that loaded. No, wait, I wish I was a guy so you can give all that money."

Carlos dropped the sorry-looking remains of his chicken on the napkin, too, and reached into the bucket for another one.

"Joanne, I'm desperate. Lucille told Jude I've never had a boyfriend. Jude probably thinks I'm a sore loser who hasn't gotten over him yet."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for moment, a pained look crossing his face.

"After what he did to me, I can't.... I can't let him think like he was the best I ever had, like I can't move on from him. I can! I did! It's just that I'd been so focused on work, I rarely went out, and oh God, am I really still so hung up on him?!"

He dropped the chicken, untouched, and curled his fists on top of the bucket. He scrunched his face, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Hey, no, no, Carlos," I began, placing my oily fingers gently on his knuckles. "You got over him. You stopped thinking about him. You stopped basing your decisions on what Jude would think. You became a senior editor in just five years! It's just that sometimes, a blast from the past can catch you unprepared."

I squeezed his hand. "That's not on you. You've come so far, Carlos. Don't let that windbag take out your sails. Look, I get it. You want to show Jude that your life's been great since you left him. And you can totally do that without a boyfriend. But!" I exclaimed as soon as his face fell again. "But I get that the asshole probably won't see it that way. And there's no way in hell we'll give him the satisfaction of thinking he was the best you'll ever have."

"So you'll help me?"

I grinned at his hopeful face. "I'll find you the best fake boyfriend out there even if I have to blackmail some poor bastard."

Carlos chuckled wetly, wiping away a few stray tears from his eyes. "No need to go that far. I'm just glad you think this plan's not stupid."

"Oh, I think it's stupid alright," I said with a wide grin. "But I think it's gonna be worth it. And amusing. We're gonna find you a smart, handsome, sexy fake boyfriend, and I can't wait for you to rub it in Jude's face."