I’m going to be real with you—I didn’t touch the app. Ron did not completely sell me on this whole idea of finding your soulmate through an app. Hopefully, my date tonight goes well so I can get out of this dating grind. Thanks to Ron, I needed to find a plus one to go to his wedding. You could probably say I was more motivated now.

After leaving work, I spent the entire evening trying to decide what I should wear. “Alright, Kevin, should I wear the colorful dress and be a girly girl, or should I stick to my usual all-black outfit?” My little man was always great at helping me pick out the best outfit.

Sitting on the bed, Kevin poked his head up and narrowed his eyes. It was almost as if he was thinking about the best option. Leaping off the bed and landing on the ground, he walked over and pawed at the pants. “Meow,” he said.

“Spot on, buddy. You always know my style.” I put the dress back in the closet and turned back to Kevin. “You know, you have very human mannerisms for a cat.” Kevin simply tilted his head as if I had asked him to do rocket science. He then licked his paw and walked out of the room. Okay, he probably wasn’t a human turned into a cat. It was probably the butterflies getting to me because of tonight’s date. My next task was doing my hair. Taking my platinum hair out of its ponytail, I brushed it.

With the prepping finished, I realized there was a lot of time before the date. I didn’t want to get there too early, or I would look desperate. I had to kill time somehow, so I ironed my clothes twice, wrote three chapters, and even brushed my teeth at least forty times. Then, at last, it was time to go. Racing out the door, I got in my car and went to meet Martha.

We chose to have dinner at a local restaurant called Viva La Chimichanga. I’d never been there myself, but it was Martha’s idea. It was her favorite restaurant. Pulling into the restaurant parking lot, I noticed this place weirdly looked like a pizza shop, although there wasn’t a sign to indicate this. Martha might have given me the wrong place. Pulling out my phone, I called her. “Hey, Autumn. Sorry, I’m running late. Did you get there already?” Martha said.

“No worries, there’s a lot of traffic tonight, but I think you gave me the wrong address for the restaurant. I’m at some pizza shop,” I said.

“Oh right, yeah, people usually have a hard time finding it. Is there a piñata hanging out the front door?”

Looking back at the restaurant, I could see the piñata twirling slowly from side to side. “Uh yeah, there is,” I said.

“That’s the place! They took their sign down because there were rats inside it. So, they put up the piñata instead,” Martha said cheerily. I could hear a car horn and angry screaming in the background.

“Are you okay?” I asked. The honking became more rapid, and the shouting grew louder.

“Oh yeah, just some silly people that can’t drive,” she said. I could hear a car window roll up, muffling the car horn and shouts.

“Oh, okay, by the way, what kind of restaurant is this? Mexican?”

“Uh kinda, they only sell chimichangas now.”

“Oh, okay. I’m guessing they have that one specialty that everyone loves, right?”

“Uh no, it’s mediocre at best. Honestly, the place has gone downhill. They used to have a chef that would make all kinds of things, but then he quit. He only taught the other chef how to make chimichangas. He didn’t take wonderful notes, but he tries. That reminds me, I hope you brought your own drink. Their fountain drink machine has mold in it, so they turned the place into a BYOB. If you didn’t, that’s okay. I brought tequila.”

“I’m going to have to pass. Tequila and I don’t mix well. I had a bad run with it one time, and now I can’t even look at the stuff.”

“Don’t be a little baby. Tequila is medicine for the soul,” Martha said. Okay, cool, you know I love peer pressure on the first date.

Suddenly, I heard a car horn. “Get off the road if you can’t drive!” Martha screamed, with a large car horn honking in the background.

I heard a loud bang. “Great, the idiot behind me can’t drive either!” Suddenly, a chorus of screams and car horns erupted into the phone.

“Uh, well, it looks like you’re busy. So, let’s schedule another date later. I’ll call you. No need to call me,” I said. Without hearing her response, I hung up, blocked her number, and went home. I guess I’m actually going to make it “tight” with someone, after all. I better not swipe right into a catfish.