Joseph thought the question was so ridiculous that he could barely prevent himself from shaking his head at it incredulously. Instead, he merely said calmly, “Mistress, I was bred to fight criminals, but I was also bred to view and calculate the best ways to end fights quickly, and I was also taught how to sniff out spies and how to uncover their identities. I would do fine on this case.”

Maru’Chi pouted, crossing her arms. “You? You’re basically a machine. You haven’t an original thought in your brain, and yet they think that you can help them find this spy? What utter--utter--” Maru’Chi couldn’t think of the word in english, so she emitted an Erulanite word in its place. 

“I am your property, but your family loans me out to the city. I’m afraid if you want me off this assignment, then you will need to speak to your parents and ask them to remove me from the Public Guard.” Joseph stated calmly. “However, I believe that if you do so, you will be robbing the Guard of the best chance it has to catch this spy, and your family will lose out on further money obtained from the state.” 

Maru’Chi shook with anger for a moment, and then she turned away furiously. “Maybe I will talk to them about it. In the meantime, I want you to go to bed early. We have a new member of the Guard on night watch tonight.”

Joseph was glad she was leaving, and took that moment to escape her suffocating company. He climbed the stairs and, at the top of them laid eyes on Petunia and could not move an inch for a moment. 

She was whistling a song under her breath while cleaning a stain on the wall. Joseph stared for what felt an eternity, committing her voice and visage to his memory so he could fight the need to actually speak to her, and once he did, he marched onwards and past her. However, Petunia saw him passing by and followed him down the hallway. 

He glanced at her only to see she was looking right at him, and then he looked away--repulsing the uncomfortable, vague feeling of something fluttering in his stomach. After that, he immediately kept his eyes forward again, trying to ignore her. 

“Hello there.” Petunia said cheerfully as she marched beside him. Abruptly, he sped up his pace--trying to elude her as he would a criminal who was firing at him. Petunia giggled. “What are you doing? Let’s talk for a moment. Come on, sit down.” She grabbed his hand, and, finally, he was forced to talk to her. He said hastily, “I am on my way to bed. Maybe we can talk later?”

She snorted, and he couldn’t help but notice her nose wrinkling in a delightful way when she did so. She winked at him. “Can I come?”

“There’s not enough room. Besides, you have your own bed.” Joseph replied, not following. 

This made her giggle even harder. “You’re funny. I like you. Now, come on, you have a little bit of time before you have to go to bed. Come sit down with me.” 

Joseph looked at her enchanting eyes and felt like she had him under mind control like the Erulanites did just earlier in the day. It was an uncomfortable, trying thing to feel like his free will was seized from him, but he nonetheless found himself doing as she asked. She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the room on her right. 

Joseph looked around. The room was identical to his own, but had a feminine touch to it that his didn’t. There were embroidered pillows, intricate paintings, and books scattered about the room. Petunia strode to her beside and plopped down on it. “This is my room! Isn’t it pretty?”

Joseph had nothing to say. He stayed near the door silently, hoping she would tell him to go soon. Petunia stared at him, waiting for an answer. When she didn’t get one, she broke the awkward silence with a snicker and said, “What? Do I have to sound like your commanding officer to get you to answer me? Sit on the bed! Do. You. Get. Me?” Petunia shouted the last part of her sentence, sounding like a military commander in a play. Petunia stared at him, waiting for him to react in some sort of way, but he merely continued to return her gaze woodenly. She gaped. “I can’t believe it. What have they done to you?” she tsked. “That was my funniest bit and I still couldn’t get you to laugh.” 

“I am a weapon.” Joseph explained. “I have no reason to laugh.”

Petunia crossed her legs at the ankles, gazing at him thoughtfully. “Very well. Just come sit next to me for a moment. I have a few questions for you.”

“Please. I have to get to bed.” Joseph replied.

Petunia shook her head with a smile. “It will only take a moment to talk. Come have a seat.” she patted the spot next to her. 

Joseph had no reason to obey other than that he felt like he was still under mind control, but he found himself sitting next to her nonetheless. Petunia clacked her heels together as she stretched and yawned. “Well, I just wanted to thank you for helping me with Greg again… but, I also wanted to ask you some questions out of my own curiosity, too.”

“Go ahead.” he said plainly. 

She looked down at her shoes, falling deep into thought, and then she asked, “Do you ever think you would rather be doing something else with your life?”

“Like what?” he replied. He genuinely couldn’t think of anything else he would rather do with his life; he had his purpose and he was fulfilling it. 

“Oh, I don’t know…” she cleared her throat. “What about… architecture?” 

“Architecture?” he repeated, trying to sound interested in the conversation. She could tell he was already bored, however, and she nudged him playfully. 

“Oh my god. At least try to sound interested.” she blanched. In a moment, the smile melted from her face and she sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Anyway. I would personally love to be a designer. If only we humans weren’t assigned our jobs, then I could do it.”

“There is logical reason for the Erulanites to assign us our jobs. They know what we will be good at because they look at our genes from birth and determine it.” Joseph said woodenly. 

She looked at him piteously, searching his eyes with a quizzical expression. “Isn’t there any part of you that’s remotely human? Or are you truly just a weapon?”