We survive the drive to a local street that Lore describes as being the perfect spot to shop for the children. I find that to be true when I get out and see that both sides of the streets are made up of candy shops and toy stores. They stand multiple stories high. Long windows line the exterior, showing off the gems inside. Life-like teddy bears adorned by silk ribbons sit in windows and train sets the entire length of a first floor riding across the ceilings. I know without stepping inside that this is all very much out of my price range. The entire side of town is likely out of my price range.

“Your Grace,” I call to which Lore circles the vehicle to stand beside me. I offer up a smile that feels more like a grimace. “Are there any cheaper establishments?”

Lore has proven once more that he is an excellent noble because he does seriously piss me off without much effort.

“My apologies, Seren, I thought the Holy Church would pay their paladins better. How unfortunate that you aren’t appreciated as much as you should be,” he gasps like he has stumbled across something terrifying. He might do exactly that after I cut off all that long hair of his and toss it in the sewer!!

“Unfortunately, my children have become rather spoiled and likely won’t react well to a cheaper gift,” he gives a bullshit lie. There were plenty of toys at the house that were likely grabbed at a small market stand simply because it was cute.

“Let me assist you in earning the children’s affections again. I will happily cover whatever you cannot,” he adds around a beaming smile that makes me want to slap it off his stupid face. That stupid face continues to grin when walking confidently to the nearest toy store.

“Your Grace, welcome!” A woman calls from the counter. She rushes over with the enthused steps of someone who knows they’re about to get a lot of money. “What can we help you with today?”

“Oh, I’m just looking for a few things for the kids,” Lore replies. The woman, likely the owner, glances at me. Her eyes widen in surprise. I suppose that’s not a strange response. I doubt Lore has walked around with members of the Holy Church before. Unless their head happened to be on the end of a pike.

“Well, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask,” the woman says, then glances at me again prior to walking away.

What? Does she think I’m going to try and steal something!? Honestly, I would have to in a place like this because the smallest teddy bear I pick up costs more than what I have. What is this thing made out of? Pure silk with golden threads and sapphire eyes?! Is that even child safe? Leave it to a child of nobility to choke to death on a sapphire.

“Getting a present for only one of the kids is probably not the best idea, is it?” I ask, continuing to pick up toys to inspect the very large price tags. If Lore buys things like this regularly, he truly is loaded. That makes me hate him more. Who needs or deserves that kind of money? I’ll let it slide since he clearly spends a lot on the children, but his definitely overflowing bank accounts still pisses me off.

“Maybe we should head over to a candy store so I can get a bag that they can share,” I suggest.

“Sure, we can do that, but since we’re here--” Lore eagerly points at a few toys for the workers to grab and wrap. “We might as well purchase a few things. Oh, Oliver would like that!”

Lore hurries over to the other side of the store and I awkwardly follow. This place terrifies me. I’m worried I’ll trip on something, break it, and owe them my life.

Lore proceeds to easily procure toys for the children, all the while explaining which toy is for who and why. Oliver apparently sleeps on a bed of stuffed animals and wishes to add more to his already endless collection. Ashby likes picture books, specifically those about plants. Angel wants and needs toys that are not easily destroyed, often preferring toy swords and shields. Nalo likes music and has a collection of music boxes that he sometimes uses as a small orchestra. Hyun Woo would draw all day if he could, so art supplies it is. Reegan loves space and science, similar to Cyan, so Lore claims he’s their future trouble maker. Isabella has recently become interested in making clothes and Darika just wants new clothes.

Once we’re done at the toy store, Lore shoves me towards a dress shop around the block. He stands in front of a row of dresses donning a very serious expression, acting like this is a life or death situation. Our whole shopping experience he has been either excited or serious and… damn it all, why does he have to seem like such a good dad? And he’s hot--I mean, he’s rich and capable of caring for his children so that’s simply unfair.

“Have you always wanted to be a father?” I ask without realizing it.

Lore’s as surprised as I am when he faces me. His lack of response has me fumbling through a weak explanation, “T-To be more specific, did you adopt because you wanted a family or because you have the money and status to do some good for some children in need?”

Ugh, his answer will make him look like a good guy regardless. Then again, the simple truth could be that Lore isn’t who the church is looking for. He’s a suspect, but not necessarily the culprit, although he still goes against everything I’ve ever learned. This feels like a test of faith from the Mothers. Much like we were tested a thousand years ago when vampires first arrived. I won’t fall prey like our ancestors did. I can’t fail my family.

Lore picks two dresses for Darika that the workers take away to wrap. He sits next to me, resting his elbows on the armchair and his hands clasped in front of him.

“I wanted a family,” he admits, surprising me. I was starting to suspect he would avoid the topic.

“I never had a real family. I know what happens at orphanages. I know what happens to the lucky orphans adopted by gracious lords, ladies, or lieges,” he adds. There’s a peculiar lilt to his voice, like he’s straining himself to keep a monster at bay. But the tone disappears as quickly as it arrived. “I had a chance to do better, to give children like me a happier life and, hopefully, protect them.”

I wish I could take what he said at face value. The children seem genuinely happy at Lore’s side, but I’ve witnessed many happy people whose lives are taken by those they thought they could trust. A vampire father who drained the blood and life from the veins of his first love. A dhampir child killing their own parents. A vampire caretaker slaughtering entire families for the simple taste of blood. People we thought we could trust, suddenly become the ones we fear most.

Deep down, I know my heart aches for whatever Lore went through. I know that I want him to be speaking the truth, if only for the children to be guaranteed the happiness they deserve. But a life of chaos and misery has beaten much of the optimism out of me. I know better. I know what the future holds for them, regardless of who they are now. In the end, chaos always wins.

“What a pity,” Lore adds, his serious tone replaced with a mocking one. “If only there were one so kind to have done the same for you. Instead, the church found you and turned you into yet another soldier to impose their wrath upon the world.”

And I should have known this is the turn the conversation would have taken. He never misses an opportunity.

“This could have been a moment where I began to see you in a different light, but you’ve ruined it by being an asshole,” I snap out a lie, glaring at Lore’s twisted smile.

“I’m not foolish enough to believe there will ever be a moment you will see me in a different light,” he says and rises from his chair when the workers announce his packages are ready. Lore adjusts his jacket while staring down at me. “Unless the moment comes when you finally see the light at all.”

I roll my eyes. The light he speaks of is darkness disguised as something better. Our ancestors fell for it and we lost hundreds of thousands of innocent lives to the cruelty of vampires. I won’t be like them.

Lore has the car packed while I carry a dingy little bag of candy that I realize I shouldn’t haven’t bothered getting. The children will quickly forget my peace offering once they see what their Papa brought.

…he did it on purpose again, didn’t he?

“Ah, there is one more thing we should do while we’re out,” Lore adds.

“Does it involve another purchase because I fear there is no room?” I gesture to the car that’s stuffed beyond capacity. The only remaining spots are the front seats.

Lore holds up a single finger. “One more purchase. I insist.”