Dear Diary,

Little Biyue is a pervert.

I’m blushing just thinking about it, and I really want to cry my eyes out.

I knew that she was sneaking into the back mountain to play in the forbidden area, but after a few times, I realized that she was actually peaking at me bathing.

At first, I was excited, and I let her do it because she seemed to be interested in my body, but I soon realized that she only viewed me as some object, and I was completely disheartened.

It was so embarrassing, but I didn’t want to cry in front of her, so after a while I pretended that I saw a ghost and ran back to my room.

Even still, there were a few times where I got overexcited from her gaze and well…I shamefully had to take care of things.

Nanny Lin gave me an earful again since Biyue is already marriageable age. Rather than cater to her wilful behaviour, she says Biyue should be taught how to be a good wife in preparation for marriage. I really don’t have the heart to force the issue. I want her to freely choose her own path.

I love her, but sometimes that lass really makes me feel like…dirt.

I’m trying to stay on the high ground. After all, I’ve lived for hundreds of years…a child’s curiosity never harmed anyone badly. 

I’ll just have to endure these types of things until she comes to her own conclusion about what she wishes to do with her life.

Maybe…in this life…I’m only meant to look from afar.

Since that’s the case, I’ve decided to go into closed door cultivation for a few years.

֎

Dear Diary,

Little Biyue turned eighteen today.

She really is so beautiful that the moon hides its face when she is around. She is more mature now and very graceful. She is reserved in her actions and it’s very hard to tell what she is truly thinking. She has definitely become an elegant young lady of the sect, and I am proud to think that she has flourished under my care.

I still think of all the funny things she did growing up, but I can’t pretend that she is a child anymore.

The selfish wishes that I once had…past memories from past lives…I have given up on these.

The person who is in front of me right now, the Biyue who is in front of me, is not the same Biyue from long ago. She is her own person and I have no right to impose my feelings on her.

Unfortunately, I’ve not been well lately.

I guess I can’t hide it anymore. Now that the moon is separating from the influence of the stars, my life will come to an end soon.

It is probably for the best.

Since Biyue is strong enough to bend the celestial guardian of the mountain to her will, I know that she will try to leave Lonely Peak soon.

But I won’t hold her back.

֎

Dear Diary,

In all this time, the Grandmaster has been the most handsome man in Lonely Peak with not even a single wrinkle, but the other day when I was combing his hair, I found two silver strands…which would be impossible if something wasn’t wrong with his health.

He thought I wouldn’t notice that he is ill. Silly man. Of course, I noticed.

Breaking through the barrier spell and confronting that python…I can do it, but I’ve grown used to Lonely Peak. 

Instead, I decided to ask permission to visit Seven Colour Valley’s medicine king. No doubt he’ll have some clues about Guan Qiming’s condition.

Once he is well again, maybe I will leave for good.

Way too much to worry about now that I’m an adult. So boring.

On the plus side…Master started taking baths in the hot spring again to help his condition.

Friday nights are awesome.

֎

Dear Diary,

Biyue left for Seven Colour Valley yesterday…or so she said. I gave her permission because I didn’t have the heart to question her. 

She said that she’d only been gone a few days and at most would be back in a week.

Since she no longer needs a dower servant, I gave permission for Nanny Lin to go back to her maiden town. I have given up on the idea of marrying.

I hope Biyue doesn’t come back, so I can finally bury this heart of mine.

I haven’t been eating or sleeping. 

My steward scolded me for drinking too much and not looking after my health. 

֎

Dear Diary,

Master is an idiot.

I found him dead drunk in his room when I arrived with the medicine king. No idea what he was thinking. His condition is much worse than we thought.

I don’t think I can leave the sect right now.

I must admit that I have grown fond of the old jerk.

I don’t want him to die.

Guan Qiming thinks he’s been hiding it well for years, but since I read the novel…how could I not know that the red thread tied us together for three lives…? I just…hated the idea that I didn’t have a choice about it.

He cried his eyes out when I came back. So silly.

Doesn’t he know that I fell in love with him a long time ago?

֎

Dear Diary,

It’s been three years since Biyue and I married.

Although she still bullies me in bed, I have to admit that I’m really happy.

This is probably the last entry I will write for some time as the twins have been keeping me busy…I didn’t think I would have to raise the sons after raising the mother…Sigh.

֎

Dear Diary,

Guan Qiming’s butt is still pretty perky.

I love Friday nights at the hot spring. The view is always nice.

֎֎

The end.

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Author’s note: 

闭月- Biyue’s name comes from the saying 沉鱼落雁闭月羞花. It describes a beauty so stunning that it makes fish stop swimming, geese fall out of the sky, the moon hide behind the clouds, and even puts flowers to shame.

關啟明 - Guan Qiming. Qiming is another name for Venus at dawn or the morning star. It can mean ‘enlightened, intelligent, open-minded, and understanding’...which he certainly is.