Dark and lonely.

My whole life, I have held the belief that death frees a person from this cruel world and gives them what they want - peace. I believed that if life was harsh to me, at least death would be kind enough to bring me peace and will free me from this curse called life.

The last thing I remember was sitting in the park.

Did I die? Was I disposed off,? What is the point now? The things I did gave many reasons to want me dead.

However, here I am floating in this ocean of darkness towards a sphere of light, alone and lonely. If this is the afterlife, then it is not so different from the life I lived.

Though the glowing sphere is far away, I can still feel the warmth of its glow. As the soothing feeling bathed my consciousness, my whole life flashed in front of my vision.

I am Alex, a child mercenary.

I am 17 years old, and I regret how I lived my life. When I was only three years old, my parents abandoned me in a slum. I did everything to survive. The world was too cruel. I was forced to become a mercenary to stay alive. I did as they ordered and in return, I gained strength and a title 'GHOST'.

It's not like I never felt guilt or tried to leave this life. Thinking back, I tried many times, but again and again, I was reminded of my sins and my identity. This made me more frustrated and ruthless. It was like an abyss,  more I killed,  more I drowned.

By the time I turned 16, I had already killed hundreds.

However, I always thought this would end someday and now I am dead, but I can still hear those screams.

Why did this all happen to me??

17 years of memories seemed like an eternity, as if they were reminding me of all my mistakes. In the last moments, it is said that one should remember your loved ones, but I had no one.

credit of illustration: me

No.., I had few people who understood me. I liked a girl and wanted to ask her out. I could have lived a happy life. However, I gave up on her. She deserved better. 

I endured all the throbbing pain in my chest and kept walking on the lonely path, just like now.

Looking backward, I can't even remember the last time when I laughed honestly or had a peaceful sleep without having nightmares.

Haha.. let's not think about my life anymore.

As the glowing sphere came nearer, the screams in my head intensified. I felt my consciousness fading.

So this is the end. Now I can expect a pleasant sleep.

Instead, I felt a jolt that woke up my entire consciousness.

A bright light filled my vision as I heard muffled sounds. I tried to speak, but all that came out was a cry.

Gradually sounds became clearer, and I heard: "Congratulations Madam, You gave birth to a healthy boy."

I felt a hand caressing my face, calming my inner storms and soothing my scars.

"I'm sorry, Ed." a woman said with a trembling voice.

Before I can assess anything, a drowsy feeling takes over my brain. After resisting sleep for a while, I gave in and fell into a deep slumber, and had the most restful sleep.

.

.

When I woke up, the first thing I felt was my eyes being dazzled. My vision was filled with bright colors and I narrowed my eyes in discomfort. Once my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I found myself surrounded by people in similar uniforms. They all have a well-built physique that gives off the vibes of seasoned warriors.

(shit! i am arrested.. Are they security forces or any other party?)

When I tried to gauge their strength, my head started aching, but I did not feel any ill will from them. Instead, they were all grinning at me.

'tell master, young master is awake,' One of them shouted after opening a large door and closing it again.

I can't hear them clearly except for one or two words that give me the impression that they are talking about me.

. Assessing my situation, I first noticed that wherever this place was, I could understand their language, which was a positive sign.

My eyes darted around the room, observing every detail. The strange thing was that I was not in a hospital room. This room is designed like a royal cabin. The walls are decorated with paintings and swords ,But i can see toys in a corner. Anyway, the bed feels as if I am lying on clouds. 

While I was immersed in the pleasure of a soft bed, suddenly, the large doors of the room flung open, and all the people moved to the side. A man entered a room with a stiff smile. Just looking at him, I can tell he is far stronger than anybody I have seen in my life. However, the surrounding aura is the opposite.

I fixed my gaze on the approaching figure. He is sweating and walking hastily toward me with anxiety visible on his face.

Looking at me, he cracked a smile as he bent down and lifted me.

(How? Is he lifting me?)

"Hey little Ed, I am your daddy. Did you sleep well?"

(What? Dad? Who's dad? Mine?)

I tried to ask him how he could be my father.

'An ah...'

But I couldn't tell if what came from my lips was a groan or just heavy breathing. I can feel my body, but I cannot move it easily. I turned my eyes towards my hands. They are as small as a newborn baby's hand.

.

.

It took me a few seconds to connect all the dots.

( Shit, I am reborn and I am a baby now)

'Why?' I screamed inside as my expression soured.

Seeing this, the man who was supposed to be my father kissed my forehead before placing me on the bed.

I glanced at his face. I couldn't help but notice his long eyelashes, almond eyes, wheat brown skin, and neatly combed and tied long black hair. He has a scar on his face, a sign of bravery, I think. His hands are rough, showing he has trained hard and uses a weapon regularly, most likely a short-range weapon. Looking at him, I assume he's a leader or a high-ranking officer.

I must admit he is good-looking. His eyes are red. Was he crying?

But strangely, if I am just a newborn, where is my mother then? Maybe she is recovering in another room.

I peeled my eyes away and turned right towards the window. The sky is clear and calm; the air is pollution-free. I can hear the chirping of birds.

Everything feels unreal.

My eyes filled with a tear as a sob escaped my throat, and the emotions that I always oppressed overflowed.

My father tried to calm me. I can see the anxiety on his face and his teary eyes. I don't know why I curled myself in his warmth and let my emotions flow freely, but it felt good. Maybe this is fatherly love and protection I always saw and read about but never felt.

"Ed, please stop crying. Are you hungry? "

He shouted,

"Mat, can you call a midwife and find out whether Lady Altera arrived?" and everyone went into action mode.

"SHH... SHH... Ed, everything will be fine"

The more I wept, the lighter I felt. He kept caressing my back while trying to divert my attention to other things outside the window.

"Look Ed, it's a bird, wow!"

We were interrupted by the sweet voice of a woman.

My father turned around to face the new person who entered the room. I glanced at the woman who seemed to be in her 20s and smiling at me.

She is kind and has auburn hair. I could not help but notice her deep blue eyes and perky nose. She just radiates this warm feeling, which made me want to just cling to her.

(Is she the woman that gave birth to me?,NO I should call her mother.)

"Thanks, Lady Altera, for accepting my sudden request. Please check what's wrong with my little Ed. He was sleeping for a week and when he awoke, he was crying continuously," he told her in a worried tone.

(What? Have I been sleeping for a week? I have never been a sleepyhead. That's why my father was worried).

"Pleasure is mine, my Lord," she said as she came forward and took me.

"Don't worry, Young Master, you will be okay," she muttered while she laid me down on the bed before wiping my tears and sitting next to me.

(I think she is a doctor, but it still felt awkward to be carried by a woman)

She placed her hand on my bare stomach before closing her eyes as if she was concentrating.

I slightly shivered. Her hands were chilly.

Gradually, her hand started glowing. I felt a warm fluid start swirling in my stomach just below her hand as her hand started glowing. My eyes widened in shock and curiosity.

(What's in my stomach? How is she doing that? She is a witch. NO wait... I am going to vomit. )

Suddenly, her expression changed to a frown and She started sweating  buckets while muttering something inaudible . A few seconds later, she jumped back. Anxiety and shock wrote all over her face.

"He doesn't have a Mana Core!"

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Author's note: please forgive my grammar mistake.

If you want 4K format of  illustration, add comment. ;D

Cursed raven