After a bad sleep, Pigglebottom awoke to that all-too-familiar feeling of being terrified that he had something to do. 

His days in Femidome were wrought with fear. However, all of the jobs he had undertaken were at least based in the town itself. 

Moving to his cave at Brown End was the furthest he had ever traveled from the city, and he spent most of the journey hiding in the carriage, not once looking outside in case he caught the eye of an undesirable type that might put a curse of some sort on him. 

As he was unable to communicate in any way with the sludge creature that had requested his help, he had no idea where to begin his search. 

After packing a few days of clothes and some provisions, he came to the decision that he would simply wander the surrounding area in the hopes that the boy might be growing on the damp side of a rock or a tree. 

He was always nervous when taking on a request by someone, but his anxiety levels were now reaching fever pitch. Instead of giving in, and yet, he instead decided to puff up his chest and exit his new home (cave) in a triumphant fashion, maniacally laughing much like his father once had.

As he reached the exit of his cave, Pigglebottom took one last look at the dark wet hole he now called home before trudging along the litter-drenched beach. 

The sun was just starting to rise in the distance, looking much like a rotten fried egg being tossed slowly into the air from a frying pan that hadn’t ever been washed. 

Broken bottles and bits of rotting wood again crumbled beneath the weight of his clunky boots. 

Pigglebottom wore a dark red-colored poncho to keep himself warm and light-weight green trousers with a reinforced crotch area (just in case), much like his father Baron had, who himself could regularly be heard saying: “Nothings more precious in the world than the family jewels.” 

As he walked, he began to wonder where it was that he was walking to, he had no idea where the sludge creature herself even lived, and, as such, the location of her son was even more of a mystery. 

After walking the coastline for an hour or so, Pigglebottom started to wonder if he was even supposed to find the sludge creature’s child, had he just presumed he understood what she was talking about? Was she even a she? 

Perhaps he was talking to the father of this sludge boy, or perhaps in sludge creature land there were no fathers or mothers. 

His serious lack of knowledge was becoming a worry, and his chest began to tighten more and more the further he walked.

Pigglebottom had been walking the polluted beach for hours aimlessly, constantly wondering whether he should give up and turn back. 

He was just about to when, in the distance, he noticed a curious sight. 

The murky waves lapped against a set of cliffs that climbed from the beach right up as far as the eye could see.

 The tops of the cliffs were not visible to Pigglebottom as the brown mist that was floating off the sea enveloped the peak. 

As he strained his eyes, Pigglebottom realized he had reached a famous landmark that was known throughout Kroydome. 

Jutting out from the cliff face was, well, a face, or what appeared to be one at least. 

It was known as ‘Almighty Cliff’ and was a place that Pigglebottom had heard about many times during his school years. 

The spot was revered by the locals and had been worshipped for centuries as it was tied to an ancient story. In the early days of the earth, a cosmic battle between two giant deities had taken place. 

The battle raged for eons, only ending when one of said deities was decapitated, and its monstrously huge head fell to earth where it would remain for the rest of time (and later become known, rather unimaginatively, as Almighty Cliff). For centuries, Kroydomeians had brought Almighty Cliff offerings of cold porridge (which was said to be the God’s favorite food), and slathered it onto what was considered to be the face’s top lip. 

Pigglebottom stared at the giant face as he gradually grew closer to it, but not out of reverence or awe. In fact, he couldn’t quite understand what all the fuss was about. 

To him, it seemed quite clear that it was not, in fact, a face at all, but simply the result of weathering of the waves against the cliff for centuries. 

This view, had he expressed it in public, would have gotten him thrown into a Kroydomeian prison to rot away for the rest of time, and yet, he was, of course, absolutely correct.

 But unfortunately, Kroydomeian’s weren’t particularly well versed in the ways of nature, nor much else.

Pigglebottom had been walking for 5 or so hours when he decided he would take a break. 

Still trudging along the coastline, he rested his weary short little legs and sat down to have a spot of lunch whilst staring out to sea. 

He placed his rucksack on the floor and produced from it a gort cheese and cucumber sandwich. 

His supplies in the cave were diminishing quicker than expected due to his comfort eating, and these were the only ingredients he had left. 

As he munched on the pungent gort cheese, he heard a low-frequency rumbling in the distance. 

Slowly, the rumbling got louder and louder until it was clear he wasn’t alone and was revealed to be the laughter of two giants that were slowly approaching the beach. 

Their deep voices bellowed and echoed throughout the shore, almost causing Pigglebottom to instantly soil his last clean pair of undergarments. 

Reluctantly, he turned around to check if he was in danger, and before he knew it, they were already just a few feet away from him. 

Roughly 7 times the size of little Pigglebottom, the giants wore long robes which seemed to be made out of potato sacks. 

The pair shared a similar facial structure, both ogre-ish in their looks with light green skin. 

Their giant feet protruded from the potato sacks with curly brown toenails pointing towards the heavens. 

They walked hand in hand, therefore, Pigglebottom presumed they were husband and wife. 

However, it was impossible to tell the two apart as they were both as frightening as each other. 

Pigglebottom quickly turned back towards the sea, shrinking where he sat in an attempt to just look like another piece of rubbish on the filthy coastline. 

The crunches of the stones beneath their feet got louder and louder until one of them bellowed. “Ah, look, youman, uhuhuhuh,” one shouted as the other giant laughed in response and squealed, Pigglebottom presumed that one must have been the female. 

The giants approached Pigglebottom and suddenly swung their arms downwards, scooping him up with ease similar to that of a hungry Kroydomeian picking up a discarded piece of food from the ground.

“This one, he’s funny looking 'int he,” the female laughed as the congealed green substance, which was hanging perilously from its mouth, glooped down onto the floor.

“He looks a bit like what I dun in toilet this morning,” the male responded to a rapturous chorus of laughter, “wot you doing out 'ere all by yourself youman, never seen one of you this far south, didn’t think youmans liked Brown End.”

“I-I-I’ve relocated,” said Pigglebottom, shivering with fear.

“Relocated? Well, int you a fancy pants mister, were in a recession ya know! How’d you ‘ave the money to go and do a move then?” The male giant said, giggling to himself.

“I don’t have the money, I’m not rich or anything, I’ve just relocated my business down here… because we’re in a recession,” Pigglebottom said, attempting to find common ground with the giants. 

Holding his breath as the two stared confusedly at him, he could almost hear their brains working overtime to try to figure out this funny little creature that lay in their arms.

“A-ha, so you’ve felt the pinch too! For a second there, I was thinking you were some sort of rich toff wiv an ‘oliday ‘ome down ‘ere,” the female responded, much to Pigglebottom’s relief as he wondered who on earth would consider Brown End to be a place worthy of having a holiday home.

“Yes, ha ha, I’m very much like you, you see, salt of the earth and all that,” Pigglebottom laughed unconvincingly to attempt to hide his fear.

“Ha ha! Right you are boy, come on av a sit down wiv us, common muck like us should stick togevva eh?”

“I couldn’t agree more…” said Pigglebottom as the giants lowered him to the floor.

The giants slowly dropped themselves to the floor, slamming down a picnic box as they went, shaking the stones underneath. 

They rummaged through the box which was almost as tall as Pigglebottom when he was standing and produced many rotten-looking and smelling foodstuffs, the likes of which Pigglebottom had never seen before. 

As the giants had finished unloading the contents of their hamper, the male whistled a high-pitched loud tune before a deeper rumbling in the distance occurred and grew louder and louder until the source of it was revealed. 

A 3-headed Hellound lumbered towards the group, with eyes redder than the newly formed blister on Pigglebottom’s right foot and teeth sharper than the great Lovelength sword of Baron Broadsword that had sliced and diced its way through the flesh of many monsters of the wild.

“Oh-ho, ‘ere he comes,” said the giants in unison with a sense of glee. 

The Hellound stopped a few feet from the group, sliding along the rocks and into the arms of the female giant. a look of utter love came over the 2 of the dogs’ heads as they stared deeply into their owner’s eyes. 

The 3rd head, however, was transfixed on Pigglebottom and drooled in anticipation.

“I think I’ll just be leaving now, I must be getting on, lots to do,” Pigglebottom slowly rose to his feet and began walking away until he realized his poncho was caught on something, he turned around to see the other end was wedged firmly in one of the mouths of the Hellound.

“Oh, I fink he likes you,” chuckled the male giant, “ere, stay and have some din-dins wiv us, I bet you never ‘ad food like this before ave ya?” 

The giant opened up a container and pulled out a long thin squirming sea-creature which had multiple eyes in a straight line down its back and a pair of lips on the end that looked like they’d had some sort of genetic enhancement to appear fuller. 

The giant threw the creature up in the air as a long tongue unfolded from the female’s mouth and whipped towards the creature, sucking it into its mouth as it slid down its throat without even a single chew. 

The dog pulled on Pigglebottom’s poncho pulling him closer to the group until he was within the giants' reach. 

The male grabbed Pigglebottom by the shoulder and stuffed him downwards into a quivering heap on the floor.

“Well, I suppose I could stay for just a little bit, but you see, I’m on an adventure,” he said as he tried his best not to look into any of the eyes of the slobbering Hellound.

“Oh, an adventure, you ‘ear that love? We’ve got ourselves a regular Baron Broadsword as dinner cump'ny, I’ve never dined with an adventurer, eaten a couple though,” the giant’s laugh echoed throughout the land.

“Oh he’s just teasing love, don’t worry he won’t eat ya, not unless all this food don’t fill him up that is,” the female joined in and cackled, seemingly causing even the tide to recoil in terror.

“So, wot sort of ‘venture you on then eh? You’re not tryin' to kill a couple giants are ya?” The female said with a grin on her face.

“No, no, of course not, I’ve been tasked with finding a missing child… well, at least I think that’s what I have to do,” Pigglebottom responded in a confused and still-terrified manner.

“Missing child?” the male Giant piped up “heard a lot about that round ‘ere recently, seems like it’s a pepidemic.”

“It’s epidemic you stupid oaf,” the female Giant corrected.

“Well, whatever it is its ‘appenin a lot. Bloody shame it is, but if you ask me people should be keeping an eye on the little runts a bit more, never know when they’re gonna run off a cliff or get stuck in toilet or somefink,” the male Giant added.

“Might you know where or what is happening to these children?” Pigglebottom inquired, thanking his lucky stars they were no longer talking about the prospect of eating him.

“Dunno, I fink they’re just walking off cause they’re all a bunch of nogsquabblers, wife 'ere thinks its somefink’ to do wiv' this group that’s been knocking about round ‘ere recently.” 

The female giant nodded in agreement. “Some religious group been goin’ round tryna' recruit new members, they always knock on the door when I’m making dinner, drives me off the bloody cliff.”

“Oi! Don’t take cliff’s name in vain!” Shouted the male giant angrily, the female kissed her finger and pointed towards Almighty Cliff before hanging her head in shame. 

“Bloody pottymouth on this one… still, she’s got luvly eyes,” the male giant commented as upon hearing the compliment, the female’s giant’s left eye turned lovingly towards her husband, the right remained motionless, staring into the distance.

“So… this group, would you know anything about them at all? Where they come from, what they do, even what type of members they’re trying to recruit?” Pigglebottom wondered.

“What do I look like, the flipping Brown Pages?” the male Giant growled angrily.

“Oi, don’t be so rude to the little fing, I’m sorry little whatever you is but we don’t know nuffink, we keep ourselves to ourselves ’round here and we don’t go sticking our noses into noone’s business… although I was listening in to one of their conversations and I heard them saying they were movin’ on to recruit in Femidome after this, so you might wanna look there,” the female said.

“Femidome… right, I see, I suppose I should head in that direction then, perhaps the son has joined this group, you haven’t seen him with them have you?” Pigglebottom wondered.

“Well, wos he looks like?” the male piped up.

“Well… I’m not actually all that sure… moldy?” Pigglebottom said unsurely.

“Half the people round ‘ere is moldy, you’re gonna have to do better than that ya stupid knobsquaggle,” the male grumbled.

Sensing the heavy atmosphere, Pigglebottom rose to his feet, brushing off his clothes before saying: “Thank you ever so much for all the information, I think I should resume my journey as soon as possible, perhaps I might be able to catch up to the group in Femidome and enquire with them.”

“Do wot you like, I don’t wanna give ya none of me food anymore, ain’t in the mood,” the male Giant gurgled with a furious look in his eye. 

Pigglebottom backed away from the group slowly with a forced smile on his face as his hand waved from side to side very slowly. 

The Hellound began to inch closer to him but was yanked back by the owners. 

The female giant oddly seemed to blow Pigglebottom a kiss, the smell of which was akin to being slapped with two rotten fish simultaneously. 

Once Pigglebottom was a few feet away, he quickened his pace in the opposite direction and thanked his lucky stars he had escaped in one piece.