The trip back to the barracks was quiet at first. We walked along the allée that connected the mansion to the training grounds in silence, quietly following Marianne as she marched to her own beat. Edward and I walked on either side of the road at an awkward distance apart, like cats who were patently ignoring the other’s existence in hopes it might make them go away. Truth be told, a part of me feared he was going to attack me at any moment; we were finally without adult supervision, and the only witness was the uncaring noble, Marianne. But to my anxious surprise he kept to himself, staring off into the distance with a disturbingly thoughtful expression on his face. It didn’t suit him at all- I much preferred to see him sputtering in anger. It was easier to tell what he was thinking that way.

“You know,” said Marianne, breaking the awkward silence. “I cannot help but wonder, why did they choose us for the honour of being Lady Violette’s bodyguards?”

“Because we performed best at the Squireship Trials,” answered Edward with a patronizing sigh. “At least, most of us did.”

“I understand that,” said Marianne as she turned back to look at him. “I’m simply wondering why they choose untrained squires for the job.”

Edward had no answer for that, his forehead wrinkling in thought.

“Perhaps because they wanted people closer to her in age?” I offered.

Marianne gave me her usual glare, though it softened slightly as she considered my words. “Perhaps, Carrot-top. But what if it compromises her safety?”

I quirked my eyebrow at her, surprised. “You’re surprisingly astute, Miss Beet. I’m glad to see you haven’t been swept up in fantasies of grandeur about your own capabilities.”

“Look who’s talking,” she snapped back, her skin already turning a flushed pink. “At least I have a realistic perspective on the world, instead of going around and picking fights with people when I don’t get my way.”

I rolled my eyes dramatically, taking the chance to check on Edward as I did so. He showed no reaction to Marianne’s words other than a smile that played across his lips. I licked my own, nervous - not that I would ever admit my fear, of course. Any sign of weakness, any slight break in my boisterous bravado and Edward would be on me in a moment. It felt like I was a rabbit walking next to a wolf, trying to make myself look as big as possible to discourage the predator. But the truth was that I was helpless. If Edward decided to get his revenge, here and now, there was little I could do to stop him. My wounds from our last battle were still raw and painful - in the worst case, I could even end up permanently disabled.

It was a feeling I absolutely despised.

“Ah, come on now; I still beat him fair and square. Even Edward doesn’t mind that much, do you, Ed?” I joked, trying to keep up the facade.

“No,” he answered with that same creepy smile. “Not really.”

“Eh?”

Marianne and I stopped, both staring at him in shock.

“Wh- what do you mean?!” sputtered the Beet. “She slandered you in front of the whole tournament!”

Edward stared at me, his eyes burning despite his smile. Unlike Marianne’s glares of indignation, this one was full of a hidden malice that sent chills down my spine.

“I don’t mind,” he said slowly, stepping towards me. My nails bit into the palms of my hands. “Because it doesn’t matter. Isn’t that right, Carrot-top?”

I didn’t mind when Marianne had called me that before, but coming from his lips it felt like a vile insult.

“Right…” I answered softly, unsure of what he meant. “It doesn’t…”

He paused, staring deep into my eyes. He was so close, I could feel his breath on my lips - hot, and unpleasant. A moment of tension held between us as he examined me, searching for something - I wasn’t sure what; I only hoped he didn’t find it Then-

“Because we all passed, right?” His smile widened as he stepped back, breaking the moment entirely.

“Right,” I answered, a relieved smile breaking across my face. “We all pass-”

Suddenly his fist was right in front of my face, a gust of wind from his punch blowing into my eyes. I blinked, frozen in shock at the fist that had stopped barely a centimetre from my nose - I hadn’t even seen his arm move.

“And I have nothing I need to prove either,” Edward said with a grin. He leaned forward slightly, ever so gently tapping my nose with his knuckle. “I know I was already weakened from the previous fights that night. I know I had nothing to lose to you in the first place. But most importantly of all, I know-”

He stepped closer, his hot breath warming my neck as he brought his lips next to my ear.

“-that beating up a lonely commoner girl is a complete and utter waste of my time. Do you, Miss Richter?”

His voice was as gentle as a lover’s, yet the words were anything but. Lonely? A chill ran down my back as I realized he wasn’t wrong - I had no friends, no allies in this entire camp. But before I could respond, he was gone - practically sauntering as he walked down the allée. All I could do was stand there, the echo of his words reverberating through my mind as my body trembled. I bit my lip - hating myself for feeling this way.

--

We made it back to the barracks in time for lunch, held in the large mess hall we had started the morning in. This time though it was a cacophony of noise when we arrived - the foot soldiers had returned from their morning combat drills, and seemed to enjoy the opportunity to hassle the new recruits with hoots, hollers and taunts. I even heard a few cat calls as Beet Barbie and I stepped in, causing the Beet to freeze up, her face pale with fear. I grabbed her hand and immediately dragged her to the line for food, ignoring the shouts as best I could.

I couldn’t really blame her; even I, who was expecting an unwelcome reception, felt a chill running down my back. Aside from the two of us, there were only five other women in the whole hall; the one other female squire, and the four maids working the counter. Women were still banned from joining the footsoldiers in the Rhinestadt Duchy; Knighthood was the one military exception that allowed women to join their ranks, as aristocratic women preferred female bodyguards.

As a result we had an entire mess hall of violently inclined, vulgar men looking at the squires like we were fresh meat ready to be devoured. Though I was sure they would never follow through on their threats - we were future knights after all - they seemed unafraid of hurling as much abuse at us as they pleased.

It didn’t take long for us to reach the front of the line, where we were offered bowls full of a gruelly porridge and some hard tack. I watched as Beet Barbie’s sneer began to form on her face as she was handed the unappetizing bowl of sludge, but before she could mount her protest, I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away.

“What are you doing, commoner!? You can’t seriously expect to-”

“Do you seriously want to kick up a fuss now?” I hissed back. “With all these men watching, waiting for any excuse to rip you to shreds?”

Fortunately that gave her enough of a pause for me to drag her over to the corner of the mess hall, where the only other female squire sat. She stood out - not only for her gender, but for her caramel dark skin and midnight hair - a unique sight in a sea of white skin. A small boy with grey hair and an aggressive amount of freckles sat next to her, sharing a dejected expression with her. I dropped our bowls on the table, sat down, and began gobbling the sludge as fast as I could.

“You can’t seriously expect me to eat this, do you?!” snapped Beet Barbie, finally finding her chance to complain.

“If you don’t, you’ll starve,” I answered harshly. “This isn’t your fancy home anymore. All you get to eat here is what they put in your bowl. No seconds, no desserts, no fancy sides - just what they give you.”

“Wh-” Beet Barbie sat down in a huff, a picture of absolute disgust on her face. “Why?”

I almost choked on my food at this, trying desperately to suppress a laugh. “Why?! Because it’s cheap! Welcome to the life of a soldier, milady!”

She did not seem to appreciate my welcome.

“How do you know so much about soldiers?” asked the mousey-grey haired boy.

“I watched my father at the barracks.”

“Your father is a foot soldier here?” asked Marianne with surprising interest. I shook my head.

“City guard. They have a similar basic training regime, only without, y’know, the war stuff. It’s how I learned to use the standard issue rifle.” I shook my head as I caught myself blabbing. My stupid mouth had gotten my family into enough trouble already. “But enough about that. You all should eat as quickly as possible; it’ll only taste worse once it's cold.”

The other two squires reluctantly began picking at their food, choking down the horrible sludge as best they could. Marianne, however, was still stubbornly holding out.

“No… no, this must be a mistake. Surely they must have something else for squires like me- perhaps in the knight’s dining hall-”

“You’re welcome to try and ask,” I said with a smirk. “But don’t blame me if it doesn’t go well.”

She returned my comment with one of her classic glares and stood up again.

“Well, you might be satisfied with this slop but I, at least, have standards,” she said, enunciating her words with pointless barbs.

I shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

With a final glare, Beet Barbie grabbed the bowl of slop and flounced away, her ponytail bouncing along fiercely behind her. The small boy tried to follow, but I held him back with a hand.

“Just wait, let’s see what happens first.”