Chapter 1, page 1. Transcript below.

Panel 1: Outside an apartment complex. There’s a light on, near the top floor. The words on panel belong to a pair of podcasters.

Podcaster #1: … so, in conclusion, there’s parts that work, there really are, but…

Podcaster #1: Well, from what I heard, they reshot the third act?

Podcaster #2: The whole third act? Good God.

Panel 2: Going in through the window.

Podcaster #1: Yeah, and you can tell. The editing gets so sloppy. A subplot up and vanishes.

Podcaster #2: Now, do you feel the urge to get a Zen Cola™ – as I do?

Panel 3: Going down the hallway – the hallway has photos of the main character and her family, and of another woman she loved. There’s photos of her presenting as male and photos of her presenting as female. And there is a diploma for a Bachelor’s of Kinesiology made out to one Alice Ackerman.

Podcaster #1: I… do feel the urge.

Panel 4: Alice is painting a portrait of a city street, in the middle of her living room.

Podcaster #2: So yeah, the product placement in this movie really is as annoying as you’ve probably heard.

Podcaster #1: Hero literally stops, mid-fight, to drink a nice cold Zen Cola™.

Podcaster #1: So our official verdict is: Hard Pass.

Panel 5: Alice turns off the podcast, which is playing on her phone on her worktable.

Podcaster #2: Pretty great trailer for the new Starship Scorpio movie, though –

Alice: And, that’s enough of that.