Joseph merely nodded in response and then headed upstairs. He climbed them slowly, feeling a tenseness and pain in his joints for the first time in his life. He felt his heart thudding quickly, and he could barely catch his breath for a moment. He stopped midway up the stairs, grabbing on to the railing and leaning over, his head spinning. 

“Are you okay?” 

Joseph looked up, sucking in a deep breath. He saw Petunia standing at the top of the stairs, smiling brightly at him. She was the last one he wanted to see--even less than Maru’Chi. His feelings about her confused him. “I’m fine. Just out of breath.” 

Petunia’s eyebrow jutted upward. “Out of breath? A member of the Guard?”

Joseph nodded, continuing up the stairs and brushing past her when he was at the top. He was hoping to avoid her, but she kept pace with him. “I hear that you’re taking a week long break, so we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other. I also hear that you have some needle, threads, and fabrics. Would you like me to show you how to sew?”

Joseph shook his head. “I don’t plan on using it. I plan on resting for most of the vacation, and, I suppose, guarding the Daughter of the House.”

Petunia giggled. “Sounds like you don’t like her. That’s the most distaste I have ever heard in your voice.” 

Joseph said nothing. However, he did find his eyes narrowing in annoyance at the fact that he would be stuck guarding such an unpleasant, bossy Erulanite. “She is the Daughter of the House. It doesn’t matter how I feel about her; I have to guard her.”

Petunia looked to her left and right. “Of course, you know… a lot of Erulanites have crushes on humans. Be careful if she tries to experiment.”

He felt displaced at her words and felt an incredible aching fire throughout his being--a dull sort of pain like a sore muscle. “Are you joking?”

Petunia shook her head. “I’ve walked in on some of them.” Petunia giggled. “Don’t worry, I don’t think she’d do that, though. I only just met her, but she seems to very much despise humans. She finds them dirty, violent, and primitive, in her own words. She picked me as her new handmaiden, so I’m in charge of making her pretty. She shares some secrets because of it. Although, that one’s not much of a secret.”

Joseph nodded. “That’s good news. I didn’t think she had a crush, but she did seem… persistently obsessed with me.”

Petunia giggled again. “Is that a hint of annoyance I hear in your voice?” 

Joseph found his mouth turning upwards in response to her question. “You would be bothered, too, if someone kept trying to make you do things you didn’t want to do.”

Petunia snorted as they rounded a corner in the hallway and responded, “Like take a vacation? I have to say, of all the things that one could find annoying, that one would not cross my mind, personally.”

Joseph stopped in his tracks. He took in a deep sigh, and then expelled it as Petunia looked at him worriedly. “I’m facing a very difficult situation. Whenever I am… still… I feel twitchy and useless. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable a whole week of twitching and feeling useless will be. I just know I don’t want to experience it.” 

Petunia’s face crinkled in consternation. She was silent as she pondered his words. Eventually, she nodded in realization. “I get it, I get it. You were designed for a specific purpose, and you were designed to love that purpose. I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to take a vacation. Tell you what!” Petunia linked her arm in his. “I will show you how to take a vacation, as I am a pro at it! Tonight, we will hit the bars! Tomorrow, we will focus on sewing and finding a hobby that you love. The next day, we will read books while doing said hobbies. After that, we’ll have another night on the town! And I swear, I will get you to laugh and have a good time. We’ll get to know each other, it will be fun!”

Joseph looked away from her--feeling so electrified by the idea of spending the week with her that it eventually became even more discomforting than the idea of spending a week and having nothing to do. He couldn’t stand the idea of feeling like he was being electrocuted for seven days straight. 

“I think it would be best to spend the week by myself. I will find some way to get through it. Perhaps I will sleep the whole time.” Joseph murmured, brushing past her briskly. Unfortunately, he couldn’t shake her. She was frankly reminding him of a particularly aggressive tick who could not be dislodged. When she caught up she said, “You would rather spend the week sleeping like a hibernating bear than have a week where you get to have fun and do what you want? You poor soul… tell you what,, if you promise to at least spend three days of your week doing what I want you to do, I will try my best to convince Maru’Chi to shorten your vacation.”