I follow into the next room that is a mostly empty space, save for an operating table and a nurse that could moonlight as a pro wrestler. I don’t go any further once I get a sense of what’s to come. 

“Hey, what’s going on? I didn’t get-”

I turn around and see that the gentleman who led me in here is gone. I’m just talking to myself. 

The giant nurse is surprisingly gentle as he puts his hand on my shoulder and walks me over to a curtain in the corner. 

“You’ll find a fresh gown in here. Please, disrobe and put the gown on.”

“I was just looking for some information. What’s going on? I never agreed to any procedure.”

“What’s your question? I’ll answer what I can,” the hulking nurse says. 

“I want to know what I’m getting into here. I can’t find any information about it anywhere and no one is telling me what’s going on.”

“Did you read the terms of service?”

“I did. I signed them and everything. Just tell me what’s going on. I was told you’d answer my questions once I did.”

“You get the idea then. We’re just making sure you’re physically fit to go beyond the atmosphere.”

“What? I’m not ready to do anything like that. I’m just looking for information. I think I need to go home and think about this.”

The nurse laughs it off and slaps me on the back. I feel my throat jump when he does it. 

“You come back as a new person. You will want for nothing. Take the leap.” 

“It sounds too good to be true. Everything that’s happening today is way too shady for me.”

“It’s real,” the nurse replies. “Now get changed.”

I do as he says. I feel like I want to ask more questions, but I’m waiting for my moment. Maybe I am just being a coward. Even if they explained the science behind it to me, I probably wouldn’t understand it anyway. 

It’s my need to control everything that's been holding me back. I should just surrender to this. Let it happen and come out as a new man. One who makes a decision with the little bit of information he has and goes for it. That’s me now. 

I come out from behind the curtain to find the nurse looking back at me from the exam table. I take a seat on the fresh paper that crunches as I do. The nurse puts his hand on my chest.

“Lean back.” 

He pokes and prods, sometimes uncomfortably so, and I try to go with the flow. I remind myself it’s just a physical exam. My heart is beating through my chest, but I tell myself I’m just anxious. I need to embrace it. 

It’s for the best. Given the opportunity to run, I’d take it. This way, I’ll get what I want. I never would have approached Penelope, tried to do all that research and come here anyway if I didn’t want it. 

I’ve almost talked myself into it when the nurse grabs the biggest needle I’ve seen in my life. 

“What the hell is that?” I shriek, jumping off the exam table.

“It’s to prevent space sickness.” The nurse answers, hands in front of him trying to calm me down. “Without this, you will certainly vomit in your suit. You won’t be able to clean it until you come back. I don’t recommend that.” 

“I thought it was just a physical? This all feels like it’s moving too fast. I just want to ask my questions.”

“It’s nothing to be concerned about. A simple anti-nausea injection combined with a mild sedative. If you ask your questions and change your mind, there are no side effects. Take it from me though. You’ll have time to ask your questions, but once they’re answered, you’ll want to get this process moving. This just guarantees that. Okay?”

“Did you mention a sedative? Why would you have to give me a sedative?”

“You haven’t been trained to go to space. Remember how long astronauts used to take training to go to space for a day? There are reasons for that,” He holds up the syringe. “This is one of them.”

“And what if I refuse.”

“You won’t get any of your questions answered. If you find out that you don’t want to go through with it, we’ll let you sleep it off here and you can be on your way.”

“So, if I go through with this and go into space, I won’t see any of it?”

“I said it’s slow acting,” The nurse reminds me. “You’ll be able to see the important parts. The take-off. The earth from beyond the atmosphere. Then you’ll get tired. Before you know it, you’ll be back here with a new life ahead of you.”  

I nod my head and lie back down on the table. I pull the sleeve on my gown up to expose my arm to show I’m ready. I need to be brave. 

The nurse instead grabs my jaw and quickly injects me in my neck. I jump up from the table. He quickly plants me back down with an expertly placed hand in the center of my chest. 

“One more and we’re done. Just relax.”

He grabs my face again. The next one hurts even more now that I know it’s coming. A few seconds later, it’s over. I lie down for an extra few moments, feeling violated, before I swing my legs over the side. 

“One more thing,” The nurse says, holding a safety razor in his hand.