Nadia stood over a large glass bowl, eyeing her tired reflection. The water was dim; red dripped from her face, becoming smoke as it diffused with the water. Her breathing was sharp, her lungs cold and hot as if she'd just run for hours. On the edges of the bowl, her hands shook to keep her upright. Dots of white spotted her vision, the world around her twisting and rocking. 

"We have more injured!" Someone yelled, faraway and distant. 

All around her, the world moved in rapid motion. People crowded the infirmary, blood saturated the air, and screams had deafened all else. 

It had only been a few days since Nadia arrived at the mobile medical unit. About several hundred miles from Litis's border, just behind the front lines. Every day like clockwork, the injured and sick came rushing in through the unit's doors. Arms and legs were virtually severed from their bones, burned and scarred. Many were on a thin line between life and death. 

With each Healing, Nadia could feel herself struggling to stay upright. Her connection felt fragile. Hours were spent in that room, scarcely taking breaks to eat or sleep. Not when soldiers, her people, came flooding in by the dozens. 

"Nadia!" Someone shouted, making her jolt. "Nadia, help me! We're losing him!" 

She blinked, forcing her mind to concentrate on the task at hand. Focus! 

Behind her was a man brutally beaten. The entire left side of his skull was smashed in, and the white of his teeth had stained entirely red. Dark, deep cuts decorated his skin. His uniform had been torn to shreds. And severed veins and strings of flesh were all that remained of his arm passed his elbow. It was faint, very, very soft, but the man was still breathing, struggling to do so. Wake up! 

Nadia's vision swam. Green glowed brilliantly, several Healers all working together, desperate to save his life. Shaking, Nadia held out her hands over the man's shattered face. Her light was pale, flickering, but she forced her soul to feel the connection. 

He coughed, gagging on the blood that crept up from his stomach. 

Nadia could barely feel his energy. His pulse beat so weakly under her light. And despite all her efforts to pull the light forward, to glow ever brighter at her fingertips, it failed. Her breath skipped, her lungs tightened, and it felt as if her heart had popped in her chest. Continue, persevere, save lives–that was all she ever wanted. Don't pass out! 

Sweat poured from her face as if the ceiling were raining. She slipped forward, catching herself at the knees to stay upright. A bit longer, just a bit more, something, a miracle, she was a miracle. But her mind became hazy. Thoughts barely had a coherent link with each other. Words felt so incredibly foreign as she forgot what she even wanted in the first place. Save him!

Sleep, a voice whispered. Food–Something delicious, like roast duck. A crispy, tantalizing aroma of sweet sauce and warm meat. That phantom taste was so satisfying on her dried tongue, feening for her attention. Heal him!

Then the world began to sway like a rapid current in a storm. Nadia's light became nothing. 

Then she struck the floor. 

*

When Nadia awoke, she lay on a soft bed; her brain split from the pain as she tried to sit up and get her barrings. The room was dim and quiet. Though, off in the distance, down the halls, she could still hear the faint sound of Healer's yelling and soldiers screaming. 

"Are you well?" His voice cut through her more than it should have. Nadia jolted, sitting up quickly to address her master despite the pain that cried otherwise. "No need to get up. You should rest," He said, but his tone was as icy as ever. 

Her motions slowed, hesitant, unsure of what he would if she moved. Chilled to the bone, her eyes found their way to the blanket folded on the edge of the bed. Right where Klavier Arx sat. She remained still.

His bad leg was stretched out, his golden crow cane at his right, and a cup of tea in his hands. "You have slept for three days." 

"Wh-what happened to the…." She couldn't even say it. It was an honor to serve in the military in the highest division, but that felt so small compared to saving a life. To see the smiles and light brought back to faces once twisted by pain and agony. There was no greater honor in the world.

"He died."

Everything stilled. The screams from down the hall muffled into nothing. Her hands began to tremble as her vision turned blurry. 

"There was nothing you could have done," Arx assured her. "Even if you had the strength to continue."

"No. No, I… I could have…." Nadia felt heavy, swaying, the comforter beneath her sucking her in like a whirlpool at sea. His wounds were terrible, skin mangled and torn, savagely torn apart like a beaten animal. Still, she'd Healed soldiers in far worse conditions. She was the miracle girl, after all.

She could have saved his life. She should have saved his life. 

Her gaze turned up at Arx. Face hidden by streams of tears; she could feel her chest tightening. It made it so difficult to breathe. 

What kind of a miracle worker was she if she couldn't save a human's life? 

Sighing, Arx set his tea down on the table where his cane rested. Hands folded over his lap, she gazed into his eyes. There was a softness in that gold Nadia had never seen before. "Your magic is unlike anything this military, this country, has ever seen. You are personally responsible for hundreds of lives saved. Do not let one death stand in the way of saving more."

He was right. She knew he was right. Still, his death was on her shoulders. Had she been strong enough to endure everything, perhaps she could have saved him if she had pushed herself. Nadia fell forward, collapsing into her lap as she cupped her hands over her wet eyes and wept. She mourned the death of a man she did not know. She grieved for his life stolen from him and begged God for an answer.

Why–? Why all this death–? For what–? 

Once he got to his feet, he stepped beside the bed, the golden crow cane in hand. Patting her shoulder, Arx consoled her until the crying ceased. 

Still breathing in shakily, she had at least calmed down, though her skin tingled. Her face was red, the crying doing no favors for her headache. 

Arx said, "I am removing you from this unit." 

She gazed at her master, eyes wide. "Why?"

"Your talents are needed elsewhere." He limped to the door, his hand resting on the handle. With a dip of his head, he reluctantly admitted, "Carpathia stands no chance against Litis. They have a Healing stone."

"What? But I thought they couldn't–"

"They figured it out." Arx clenched his jaw. "I want you to Heal on the battlefield." 

Nadia felt numb. "Y-you're sending me out into combat?"

"It's the only way." 

Her breathing hitched, and she stared back down at her hands. More than anything, she wanted to save people's lives. To protect her country and the future generations to follow. But out there on the frontlines, surrounded by death. The mere thought made her body tremble. 

"Rest for tonight. We can discuss this more tomorrow." He opened the door, took one step into the hall, and stopped. "I am sorry, Nadia." 

Tapping the wooden frame with his hand, Arx stepped into the hall, closing the door behind him.