it's a silly thing isn't it

like it's your own damn fault

that you have no friends

and you tell yourself

that you do have friends

you see them every day

but do they really see you

complaining that you have nobody

then turning around and ignore

every person that tries to help

because you're just not ready yet

and you blame it on the way things work

you point your fingers to anything else

than your own decisions that you made

sure they were influenced but that's not the same

you're not ok and that's fine

but people are counting on you

and you can't leave them behind

like you do with everything else

you surround yourself with things

that only make you worse

you influence yourself

to do things you regret

but you don't know it

because you shove it away

you don't dare think of it

just start another thing

begin a new chapter

it's your life to live

but the life you lead

impacts others along the way

but you're not going to stop

until you really drop dead

which you say that you want

but you can't make up your mind